TIGSource Forums

Developer => Technical => Topic started by: omgnoseat on June 14, 2012, 04:48:23 PM



Title: Programmers poetry
Post by: omgnoseat on June 14, 2012, 04:48:23 PM
Post up your solution to real life problems in abstract code. Bonus points for writing "real code" with existing classes used as metaphors for the things they represent.
Here is my go:

Code:
public function Solve()
{
for (i:int = 0; i < conflicts.length; ++i)
{
var cachedItem = MEMORY.cache[conflicts[i]].ID;
if (cachedItem != null)
{
conflicts[i].resolve(cachedItem);
}else
{
//TODO
}
}
}

A nice cheesy one; Learning from past mistakes.
- The conflicts represent the problems
- The ID of the conflict represent the type of problem
- The cache represents solutions to old problems

Problem -> cache is checked for solution -> apply solution that has the same problem ID to old problem

Another one:
Code:
public function Compare()
{
entities.Sort
(
delegate(Entity e1, Entity e2)
{
return p1.gender.CompareTo(p2.gender);
}
);
}

Bros before hoes.

Yeah it's very late.


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: zacaj on June 14, 2012, 04:53:54 PM
Code:
groundTime--
if touchingGround()
groundTime=10

if spacebarPressed() and groundTime>0
yVelocity+=jumpSpeed*groundTime
My super elegant jump code. Handles controllable height jumps and leeway on ledges.

I hope I'm understanding the topic correctly...


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: eigenbom on June 14, 2012, 04:56:23 PM
Code:
while(alive){
  read_lame_posts_on_tigsource();
}
regret();

 :eyebrows:


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: Maud'Dib Atreides on June 14, 2012, 05:39:24 PM
using System.ADHD;

public bool motivated = true; //Sweet, we're off to a good start

public void Main()
{

while (motivated)
{
      DrawPixelArt(ideas, quality);
      ProgramGame(ideas, quality);
      
    ideas -- ;
    quality -- ;

}

motivated = Convert.ToBoolean(ADHD.GetRandomNumber(0,1)); //Oh boy

}


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: zacaj on June 14, 2012, 05:41:53 PM
while (motivated or !motivated)
 work()


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: Morroque on June 14, 2012, 06:20:23 PM
http://revasser.net/studio/ex/gencode/


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: omgnoseat on June 15, 2012, 06:34:11 AM
Code:
while(alive){
  read_lame_posts_on_tigsource();
}
regret();

 :eyebrows:
How is one able to regret when he is not alive?
You clearly lack the skills for this complicated form of poetry  :giggle:

using System.ADHD;

public bool motivated = true; //Sweet, we're off to a good start

public void Main()
{

while (motivated)
{
      DrawPixelArt(ideas, quality);
      ProgramGame(ideas, quality);
      
    ideas -- ;
    quality -- ;

}

motivated = Convert.ToBoolean(ADHD.GetRandomNumber(0,1)); //Oh boy

}
I don't have ADHD, but I'm sure we all have moments like this haha.


Code:
groundTime--
if touchingGround()
groundTime=10

if spacebarPressed() and groundTime>0
yVelocity+=jumpSpeed*groundTime
My super elegant jump code. Handles controllable height jumps and leeway on ledges.

I hope I'm understanding the topic correctly...
Sorry, you did not. But that piece of code is pretty handy nonetheless haha.

http://revasser.net/studio/ex/gencode/
This is brilliant.


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: Claw on June 15, 2012, 06:45:48 AM
using System.ADHD;

public bool motivated = true; //Sweet, we're off to a good start

public void Main()
{

while (motivated)
{
      DrawPixelArt(ideas, quality);
      ProgramGame(ideas, quality);
      
    ideas -- ;
    quality -- ;

}

motivated = Convert.ToBoolean(ADHD.GetRandomNumber(0,1)); //Oh boy

}

Shouldn't the motivated = randomnumber line be inside the while loop? Else you will always be motivated but your ideas and quality would run to minus infinity  :laughter:

I may be taking this too seriously.


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: Morroque on June 15, 2012, 08:11:44 AM
http://revasser.net/studio/ex/gencode/
This is brilliant.

Thank ye, kind sir.

It was actually denied publication for the anthnology "Thinking Machines: Programmer Poets and Poems about Computers" on the editorial grounds of "damnit, I really want it in, but it would take up too many pages."

Another two things of mine did get in. Here's one of 'em:

(http://revasser.net/studio/lit_pt_segmentation_full.png)

I kind of feel like this one was a bit half-assed, but for whatever reason the editor liked it.


Title: Re: Programmer's poetry
Post by: Maud'Dib Atreides on June 15, 2012, 08:42:54 AM
using System.ADHD;

public bool motivated = true; //Sweet, we're off to a good start

public void Main()
{

while (motivated)
{
      DrawPixelArt(ideas, quality);
      ProgramGame(ideas, quality);
      
    ideas -- ;
    quality -- ;

}

motivated = Convert.ToBoolean(ADHD.GetRandomNumber(0,1)); //Oh boy

}

Shouldn't the motivated = randomnumber line be inside the while loop? Else you will always be motivated but your ideas and quality would run to minus infinity  :laughter:

I may be taking this too seriously.

No no you have a point. I was debating with myself about it before I posted

while (motivated or !motivated)
 work()

LOL


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Quarry on June 15, 2012, 09:42:52 AM
if (game.hasDesignFaults())
   abandonProject(game);


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: JMickle on June 15, 2012, 12:38:12 PM
if (game.unfinished) exit;


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: kamac on June 15, 2012, 12:49:01 PM
Code:
if(ideas.count() < too_few) {
    int action = rand()%4;
    if(action < 2)
        Programmer.Have(NAP);
    else
        Programmer.Play(GAME);
}


@EDIT

And bigger one.

Code:
for(int n=0; n<problems.size(); n++)
{
    int solved = problems[n].tryToSolve(Programmer.tired_level);
    if(solved == 1)
    {
        continue;
    } else {
        while(solved == 0)
        {
            Programmer.tired_level++;
            solved = problems[n].tryToSolve(Programmer.tired_level);
            if(solved == 0)
            {
                Programmer.Rage();
                Programmer.Cry();
                if(Programmer.tired_level >= Programmer.critic_tired_level)
                {
                    Programmer.Have(NAP);
                    Programmer.tired_level = 0;
                }
            } else {
                Programmer.WriteAPost(tigsource,happy_programmers_room,Programmer.ProblemSolvedString);
            }
        }
    }
}


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: eigenbom on June 15, 2012, 03:14:18 PM
Code:
while(alive){
  read_lame_posts_on_tigsource();
}
regret();

 :eyebrows:
How is one able to regret when he is not alive?
You clearly lack the skills for this complicated form of poetry  :giggle:

[/quote]

its my poem, i can regret when i'm dead in it if want, I HAVE THAT RIGHT!EK!O!JKEPRJOP!R  >:( >:( >:D :lol: :blink: :o


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: nikki on June 15, 2012, 03:22:43 PM
Code:
while ( not life.isDone() )
   live( life)
wend


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Pineapple on June 15, 2012, 04:03:29 PM
Code:
while (currenttime.hour!=23){sleep(60000);}
stamina-=10;
for(int x=0;x<=many;x++;){library.process(volume[x]);}
sleep(100);
listen();
print("Only this, and nothing more.");


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Maud'Dib Atreides on June 15, 2012, 05:38:12 PM
Code:
while(alive){
  read_lame_posts_on_tigsource();
}
regret();

 :eyebrows:
How is one able to regret when he is not alive?
You clearly lack the skills for this complicated form of poetry  :giggle:


its my poem, i can regret when i'm dead in it if want, I HAVE THAT RIGHT!EK!O!JKEPRJOP!R  >:( >:( >:D :lol: :blink: :o

[/quote]

Unless

Your life is a game within a game

Inception


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Mega on June 15, 2012, 07:08:32 PM
int main()
{

 int the_day, the_rain;

 OPEN fields;

 while(end=1)
 {
   plains
 }

------------------------------

void the_sky = #0000FF
nothing do while(this == true)
{
    for(;I=love && this == u;)
    {
      return true;
    }
}

 
}


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Hedgehodg on June 17, 2012, 01:34:41 AM
I just wasted 10 minutes of my life.

Code:
static HashMap<String, HomeworkItem> homework = new HashMap<String, HomeworkItem>;

static boolean school = true;
static boolean alive = true;
static boolean eaten = false;

static const long day =  86400000;
static const long hour = 3600000;

public static void main(String[] args)  {
    while (alive)  {
        if (school)  {
             checkHomework();
             work();
        } else  {
            if (!eaten)  { eat(); }
            
            doHomework();
            code();
        }

        if (System.getMilliseconds() > 9 * hour && System.getMilliseconds() <= 15 * hour) {
            school = true;
            eat = true;
        } else {
            if (!eaten())  {
               eat = false;
            }        

            school = false;    
        }
    }
}

private static void doHomework()  {
    String[] keys = homework.keySet();

    for (int i = 0; i < keys.length; i++)  {
        homework.get(keys[i]).do();
        homework.remove(keys[i]);
    }
}

public static void checkHomework()  {
    if (School.hasHomework("darestium"))  {
        for (int i = 0; i < School.getAllHomework("darestium").toArray().length; i++)  {
            // School ".getHomework(String studentName)" pops the next homework task
            homework.put(School.getHomework("darestium"));
        }
    }
}

public static void code()  {
    System.out.println("10 PRINT \"I AM SO GUD @ DIS.\"");
    System.out.println("20 GOTO 10");
}

public static void work()  {
    System.out.println("Working...   :cavestory:");
}


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: metaldemon on June 17, 2012, 05:30:14 AM
public static int boredom_due_to_coding = 0;
public static bool isgaming = false;


public void Update()
{
if ( isgaming == true )
{
boredom_due_to_coding--;
if ( boredom_due_to_coding == 0 )
   isgaming = false;
return;
}
boredom_due_to_coding++;
if ( boredom_due_to_coding > 20 )
{
VisualStudio.Dispose();
VisualStudio.Minimize();
string[] gamestoplay = new string[] { "justcause2.exe", "gta4.exe", "skyrimlauncher.exe", "Duke3d.exe" };

Random rand = new Random();
int gametoplay = rand.Next(0, gamestoplay.Length);
Playgame(gametoplay);
}


}

public void Playgame(string game)
{
isgaming = true;
}



Like this? thats probably working in my mind


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Quarry on June 17, 2012, 07:26:44 AM
The code is bugged, you are not launching the game


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: metaldemon on June 17, 2012, 08:05:38 AM
The code is bugged, you are not launching the game

flagnimmit! you're right!  :handshakeL: :epileptic: :handshakeR:


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Hedgehodg on June 17, 2012, 03:06:21 PM
Code:
while (currenttime.hour!=23){sleep(60000);}
stamina-=10;
for(int x=0;x<=many;x++;){library.process(volume[x]);}
sleep(100);
listen();
print("Only this, and nothing more.");

The raven?


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: omgnoseat on June 17, 2012, 03:46:54 PM
Talking about your day or programming isn't poetry, noobs!

Take a look at this guy.

int main()
{

 int the_day, the_rain;

 OPEN fields;

 while(end=1)
 {
   plains
 }

------------------------------

void the_sky = #0000FF
nothing do while(this == true)
{
    for(;I=love && this == u;)
    {
      return true;
    }
}

 
}
Words like sky and love, thats the stuff.


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: Pineapple on June 17, 2012, 06:14:57 PM
Code:
while (currenttime.hour!=23){sleep(60000);}
stamina-=10;
for(int x=0;x<=many;x++;){library.process(volume[x]);}
sleep(100);
listen();
print("Only this, and nothing more.");

The raven?

nevermore


Title: Re: Programmers poetry
Post by: TaintedFork on June 17, 2012, 08:29:44 PM
Code:
if(self.isProgrammingInLua) then
    self:feelLike("shit");
end

Lua is so unconventional. :mockangry:

Anyway, there's also this: http://moviesascode.net/ (http://moviesascode.net/)