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Sometimes games feel like they get in the way, my girlfriend doesn't like them, except for the odd game of Mario Kart. The darker the game I'm playing, the less time she can bear to be in the same room as me. I'm playing Fallout 3 at the moment, which doesn't help. Any of you suffer the same situation?

But then there's the other side - me and my 2 older brothers have been playing Street Fighter together since its incarnation. This has made for some of the most fun I've had, bring us together rather than pushing us apart.

I'd like to hear how games affect the relationships you have with those in your life - I have the intention to put these concepts into a game of my own someday.

Humm. My girl isn't a particular video game fanatic but she loves playing with me and watching me play.

I guess it just depends on the type of person you're having a relationship with. If you really like video games and your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't, I'd consider that a personality conflict. I wouldn't be able to live with a girlfriend/boyfriend with such a conflict. Video games mean much to me, and I've known them longer than any unrelated person I've ever met. They make me comfy.  :-*

Sorry to hear that your girlfriend doesn't like your hobby, but not all people are like that. Not even close.

Everytime me or my brother buy a new game, we usually wait and don't open the box until the other one is there.

Even nowadays where we only see each other on the weekends.

We both love videogames, and we know how great it is to share the experience of going through a game the first time.


Okay, that sounded kind of gay, didn't it!? :P

Oh, and I recently went on holiday with 4 friends of mine, 3 of them girls.
I brought a Wii along and Mario Kart.

...I am glad I did, it was awesome  :beer:

My girlfriend got mad at me because I finished Twilight Princess and Shadow of the Colossus without her watching. My entire family on my dad's side plays videogames, all the way up to my great grandparents, who have an NES. My brother and myself used to play games together all the time, we almost beat any coop game, we used to play TFC and Counterstrike beta in 5 death rotations. Now he kicks my ass at Guitar Hero, probably helps that he is a drummer.

Good lord, I wish I could find these women.

My first girlfriend was really the only I knew who played video games. Those were some fun times. :) It was more of just time together kind of thin. Sometimes we'd play really hardcore. Other times we just sat resting on each other and one person would just play, kinda like a movie setting where everyone is quiet.

Other than that videogames are usually a social gathering of like 4 or more people. Scarfing down pizza, pop and the like. Laughs all around.

I fin though it happening less and less, most people around me have such full schedules that solitary gaming is all they get.

That sounds like the perfect relationship there man, nice work.


Jealous x 2.


Did you guys know that your girls were in to games before you got together - or did you convert them?  :)

Videogames ended my relationship.

Man, I wouldn't be so invasive as to ask for details, bit was that a compromise you were willing to accept?

She used to play them a bit when she was younger, she got back into them when she started going out with me. She really likes Rockband/Guitar Hero and she played a bunch of Kingdom Hearts.

When you're in the twenties or younger, it's generally advised to spend less time with games and more time with your love interest. At least, when (s)he's around don't play unless (s)he is a game enthusiast and it's a two player game.
I mean don't play the GOW solo campaign and expect your love interest to enjoy watching you play.
Play the solo campaign when you're on your own.
Also videogames can make you look childish, which isn't paticularly good for your reputation. I mean don't spend your time talking about sonic fanfiction or sthg like that.

Bonus points if she touches herself  while watching you play :gentleman:

Games don't affect relationships, you affect relationships.

Theres all that communication and personal interaction stuff in a relationship, not just a big checklist of do's and don'ts.

I spend a lot of time watching my boyfriend play games... ha ha i have no problem with it, and it gives me a chance to see those big budget games (because thats what theyre good for).. without having to play them myself ( im terrible at games)  he also will play the silly games with me too on nintendos and when cave story wii comes out its going to be a role reversal my turn!! ha ha ha >:D >:D >:D >:D

I don't have a girlfriend. :(

But the only person in my family that doesn't play videogames is my mom (and even she played Mario 64 way back when, obsessed with beating that penguin race). My dad loves FPSes (even though he's pretty terrible at them and can never simultaneously move and look around) and fighting games, and my sister thinks horror games (and movies) are "sick" (in the bad way) and my brother's just like me (<3 games). In all, though, I think games have brought us together as a family more times than anything else (DK64 4 player deathmatch ftw) and have strengthened our bond to one another. Whenever one of us can't get past a certain spot in a game, it's almost guarunteed that another can, so we trade off often even in single player games. The only person who seems repelled by our gaming habits is my mom, who is adamantly against them and thinks they're a waste of time. Even so, I think she'd like some of the more humorous and lighthearted games given the chance.

What sucks though is that my dad's always working now, and my sister moved out, and my brother's too engrossed in WoW for me to ever have anyone to play with. :(

Personally, I think playing games strengthens mine and my girlfriend's relationship. Usually we only play single player games but we always discuss whatever we're playing with each other and talk about the strengths and weaknesses of particular games. I think it would be really hard to be with someone that didn't like games just because it seems that those that don't like games are adamantly against them and think that they are a waste of time. Hell, my girlfriend even beat Cave Story before I did :D
Seriously though, I would really talk to your girlfriend about it if anything and just probe into why she is bothered by you playing games. Is it because she thinks you don't give her enough attention because you are playing games or is it because she doesn't like the type of games you are playing? I would just be vocal with her and let things work themselves out from there.

Much of my childhood was me and my brother playing games together. Usually the RPG or puzzles games. I would type and we would solve it together (Agile/XP game playing?). It was actually a rather nice bonding experience that we both enjoyed.

My wife in general doesn't care for games. Most of the time, she does her thing (TV, quilting, martial arts) and I do mine (games and programming). However, there are exceptions. Shining Force Exa brought her into the room every time, if anything because of the centaur who would cry out "Behold my mighty blows" but we both kept hearing "Behold my mighty balls!" and would crack up. Occasionally, she would just come into my office and sprawl out on the guest bed to be near me, but other times, she would request (we have the "Interrupt Protocol" in our house to prevent obsession) that I come visit for 1, 5, 30, 60 minutes depending on her mood (i.e. a kiss, a snuggle, a short TV show, or a long one respectively).

But, we had a few struggles to getting at that happy medium. And a few relevations. I don't do WoW or anyone game like that, mainly because it would stress our relationship too much. And there are a few games she's requested I not have in the house again (God of War for example or any where dogs die in a whining noise).

Sorry, I was just being dramatic. They weren't really what ultimately degraded the relationship, no. It wasn't a choice between my girlfriend and videogames, especially because she actually did play games, just much more casually than me.

My ex girlfriend went to competitions and stuff for Guilty Gear and such and she is really a great gamer. She tried to push me onto newer games and such, which I was still playing my NES and Genesis, which she enjoys but would rather play 360 games, and multiplayer stuff.

She'd yell at me for playing Castlevania all day, but she really appreciates games. I won't date a girl unless they like video games, so it will never really affect my relationship. I just need a girl who appreciates old games more than new ones  :-X

I'm getting pissed off with a couple of my friends playing goddamn WoW. six of us sitting around taking turns at Rock Band and one person's off in another room power levelling.

Games like Mario Kart, however dull I find them, are great for playing with non-gamers.

Video games are a staple with my boyfriend and I.  We are both hardcore gamers, both pretty damn good too.  I honestly can't say what it would be like without them.   :)

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yeah, me and my brother tend to wait for one another before we start a new game too. It's a pretty good set up. And, unless we're both going through a story heavy game, one of us ends up watching the TV/computer and giving advice, comments and such. Also, having someone who is as into games as you are living in the same household is awesome. Extra awesome for Co-Op anything.

Huzzah!

This is a question which is really too varied to have a good resolution.

However, as a summary, I think saying this goes a long way:

- If two people like the same games, it strengthens a relationship, especially if they play the games together.

- If one person likes a game that the other does not, it doesn't affect a relationship.

- If one person is addicted to a game or games, and the other is not, it weakens a relationship, especially if it's an MMORPG.

Wow, that's...

I just hope that guy has learned his lesson.

That has to be a fakepost.  It just... has to be.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Shiny_pidgey

That's just so sad. He lost a valuable companion for life. He'll probably never see that shiny pidgey again

RIP Shiny Pidgey...  :'(

Quote: "That has to be a fakepost.  It just... has to be."
Thank you, sherlock.

If this is an old internet standby, keep in mind that I do not have the eighteen free hours a day it takes to read all of the internets.

did no one else laugh?

Awesome, let's discuss 4chan copypastas, shall we?

I did not find it funny. :-\

Anyone that lets a video game get in the way of their relationship is an idiot. Play when she's not around? Of course, that's hard when you live together, but, really. Tits beat games any day  ;)

That's kind of an even worse attitude. It's not games vs t*ts, it's games vs another person's feelings.

I would assume/hope that was tongue in cheek.

Yes, I know (zomgjokeontigsource)? I'm saying that a human companion is much better than an electronic one.

I'd have to say overall games have had a more negative impact than a positive one on my relationship. There are some good things that have come out gaming though, for example the Wii is one of the rare times that I have actually been able to play a videogame with my gf.

I played World of Warcraft for a bit with a girl I was dating once, but in general I've never gone out with anyone who has been too into video games. I can't say it's really ever been a problem, though.

HOLY FUCK

I was just trying to type "I may be a huge gamer but my girlfriend comes before games any day."

What I actually typed:


That had better not be a Freudian slip D:


Anyway. As I was saying, I may be a huge gamer but my girlfriend comes before games any day. Sometimes she does get tired of me playing games, but she's a godsend when it comes to Rock Band, she's the only person we know who can do a good job on the mic. :gentleman: She enjoys mario kart, even Soul Calibur, basically as long as it's a social game (and not too hardcore) she'll happily join in. Only consoles though.

I've had the dubious experience of getting out of a relationship because my girlfriend was more into playing games than I was. Getting second place in level of attention the two or three times a month a new game came out. Not fun. Doubly not fun when I would introduce -her- to a game and then be mostly ignored while she played it for four times as long as I did.

It's a bit strange. I spend hours a day making games but I don't think I can really be with someone who sees being a gamer as a lifestyle choice rather than a pass time.

What relationship?

I agree with Renton.

I would think that games could have no more negative effect on a relationship than, say, reading a lot (although it seems that things like reading books and playing games are treated differently when it comes to how people spend their time). Overall though, you just need to have priorities and decide which is more important to you.

Lots of interesting stuff said over the weekend  ;)


It's a mixture of those, but I am lucky in that she is understanding of what games mean to me, and she'll ususally compromise with the amount of time she will be happy with me spending playing. For example last night, we watched a movie together, but when she came and asked me if I wanted to, I was stalking some science lab in Fallout 3 so we agreed a time and watched the film a bit later.


I found this really interesting, especially that last bit - when your at the level of following games that some us here are, me included I fear, it certainly does feel like a lifestyle choice rather than a passtime sometimes. The isolation you talk about feeling of her passion for games is what i'm afraid I put my girl through. Just wish I could make the suckers like you  :)

 

Reading a book IS different to playing a game. One is passive, the other is active. Sure you can get wrapped up in the narrative of a good story and want to continue reading it. Games demand all your attention nearly all the time, you aren't just passively receiving the information it's sending to you, you are having to send the game information out.

To put it in simple terms, if you are reading a book and get distracted the worst that is going to happen is you'll have to re-read the last page or so. If you get distracted playing a game it has a permanent effect on the state inside the game. Not to mention games are designed to condition you to like them. Books aren't messing with your head through Pavlovian psychiatry. So I think there is a big difference.

I think if you where looking for something more on par with games as a hobby, I would say something like model building or some kind of detail orientated art. Where the level of attention you can give the task at hand directly reflects the feedback you get from the interaction with what you are working on.

I'm pretty sure that reading a book is not passive at all; the book doesn't go on by itself, like a movie, if you don't read it, and that's because you have to read it, which is an action that involves a lot of concentration.

Agreed. Books are perhaps the least passive form of media, on average. All that processing going on inside your mind, interpreting all the words, turning them into images, sounds, characters. Maintaining some sort of continuity, keeping all the information in your memory when old things return.

And getting distracted totally impacts on a book, too! A song playing in the background can totally ruin the mood, and general interactions with the outside can weaken what's going on inside.

From my experience.

REading a book obliges you to mobilize your imagination (I said a book, not a comic).
When doing so, youu're recycling all your memories and real life experiences. Thus it can be said that reading books is somehow a formative experience.
It makes you think about life in general, about your past experiences and makes you consider other experiences happening to you (realistically).
Videogames OTOH leaves you constantly in a virtual world with artificial reward stimulations. Videogames trigger the same neural response that casino games or crack cocaine for example. Some people play MMOs so much that they lose their jobs and don't feed their children.
Also some people think that super mario, pokemon and final fantasy are real cultural masterpieces. Which is totally wrong.

Aint on topic, but from personal experience I can tell you videogmaes are not as addictive as crack!  ;D

Not really Chutup ;) But I imagine it's true.

 :-\ Really...

This is not true of all games, I think you're overgeneralizing here. What about text adventures? What about games that are primarily text, like Planescape: Torment, Avernum, etc.?

that's because they're being stupid people, not because games are being over-addictive. Some people eat so much food that they become morbidly obese and die of heart attacks or strokes.
I'm not going to say there isn't an amount of addiction there, but there's an amount of addiction to everything. You can get addicted to books, too. And not just the thoughtful kind that have meaning and depth, but really, really shitty books.

Anyway.

Are you really saying no videogame makes you think about your past experiences and memories? Because when I play games I hardly (read: don't) discard/disassociate my life from them for the duration of play. If there is a betrayal in the game, I am reminded of betrayals in my own life. Locations within the game may make me think of places I've been, or places I'd like to be, or places I'd like to create myself. It's not like games just suddenly turn all this off. It's not like the only reason games are played is because of "artificial reward stimulations." After all, books could be accused of doing the same, constantly wanting to know what's gonna happen next. What do you really get from it? You won't have a new house by the time you finish reading a book, or finish examining a painting, or finish playing a game (unless of course you're actually building as you read/examine/play), nor will your (physical) hunger be satisfied.

Bleh, I hate the perspective that people like you have. Sorry if I'm wrongfully judgemental here, but despite what some people want you to think, sex is not the be all end all of fun and goals. It does not make you cool. You do not have to enjoy one set of tits more than playing video games (or traveling, or art, or <hobby>). I suggest you become more confident in your masculinity.

That said, there is no reason you can't have both. I don't think you should have to adjust your lifestyle and adored hobbies for someone else. If your friend or spouse is upset by it, try to get them into it. Try to make them see the light and have fun with it. More often than not people feel lonely when other people play video games (or do other hobbies) because they do not see any meaning in it, so trying to get them into it and let them see why you enjoy it. Sometimes it is, in fact, because their significant other plays too much for them to handle. My personal advice is to consider it a personality and lifestyle collision, and to avoid any extra stress for both parties I suggest to try to find a compromise, even if that compromise may be to officially break up. Don't abandon your hobbies and everything you enjoy doing in life just to have a set of tits, like Tet seems to be suggesting.

That is simply not true. You can stop reading a book just like you can pause/stop playing games. You think that way because you might just not enjoy reading books as much as grinding and doing raids on World of Warcraft or scoring headshots in Counter-Strike. I think that we can all logically agree that if you stop in the middle of either one, the mood that the book/game put you in is usually disrupted or ruined.

Another reason why what you said is false is because not all games demand constant attention (you probably just want to give them constant attention, at least relative to books). Almost all games out there have a pause function, are turn-based and/or are not very action-packed. Even if you they do not have those things, you can always just stop playing. The world does not end and you do not stop having fun forever when there happens to be a power outage or someone turns off your game. What happens then is exactly the same thing that happens when you stop reading a book: nothing, except your mood may become slightly off.

Video games and books and the stupidity of video games and books are subjective. Some people may think that video games are worthless or that some books are really shitty, but others do not. Why do you think that it's so wrong to enjoy what you want to do and die enjoying what you want to do? Calling other people stupid because they're enjoying themselves is, frankly, stupid. Even if it does result in the hurt feelings and essential abuse of other blood-filled meatbags. Nothing matters in the end; enjoy yourself.

The main difference with (some) games and books that I see is that you can put down books whenever you want and not lose any progress, whereas with games that lack quicksave, you either have to let whatever is demanding your attention wait a minute or so (and seeing as a lot of people think games a waste of time, they frown upon being told to wait a minute while you save) or turning it off and losing game time. You could pause if it's for a little while, but there's still the problem of convenience. Of course, most of the time it's only a couple of minutes of playing (unless the game is really badly designed) and if it's not that's more the game's fault and something you can just let go if the matter at hand is important.

I agree with this, just because someone thinks it's a waste of time, doesn't mean it is, if you enjoy it (and it's not harmful to others), I don't see why not. Just because someone thinks it's a waste of time doesn't mean they have to hate you doing it if you enjoy it.

Saying people are stupid for being addicted to something, I think, is sort of heartless.  It's terribly easy to become addicted to something, and that may say something about the addict, but I wouldn't say they were stupid.

Anyway you're grossly oversimplifying.  It is possible to become addicted to books, but that doesn't mean that the "amount of addiction" is the same.  I challenge you to find one account of someone who forgot to feed his children because he was reading too much, or someone who read for 50 hours straight and then keeled over.  Games are more addictive than books a lot like gambling in poker games is more addictive than playing monopoly with your family (you could even say playing poker for cookies with your family)--there is a more intense and involving risk/reward system.

This.

Perhaps they are, in a postmodern sense.


You sound like you're addicted yourself. Relationships with other living beings are essential to our existence; media and art are not. There is more to life than 'enjoying yourself'. Seriously.

Like? Every act you do tries to help you enjoy yourself more. Why do you keep playing that 'addiction' card as if addiction is a bad thing? Being addicted is simply liking something enough to keep wanting to do it and preferring to do it over other things. There is nothing wrong with that from an existential standpoint, but you consider it from your biological/sociological standpoint a bad thing because your mind perceives a low chance that people who are "addicted" to something will help make you feel happier. Getting into relationships makes some people happy, too. The point I was making was that some people might not truly like having particular relationships over something you enjoy more like playing games, so there is absolutely no reason to feel obligated to be in one or help others if you don't want to, despite what society might want you to do. Significant relationships are most definitely not essential to human existence, I don't know how you could have come to that conclusion. Everything lacks significance in the grand scheme of things as far as it's been proven, so logically there isn't anything better to do than have fun.

What is more to life than having fun, being happy and enjoying yourself?

And suddenly Skofo's bad behavior on this forum is explained in a single post. :)

Mind you, I am in a relationship. I'm just saying that people should not feel obligated to be in them if they feel happier doing other things. It is certainly not 'stupid' like some people here are trying to get across.

And I am not bad. What are you talking about?  :'(

EDIT: Also, I do enjoy empathizing with people. I enjoy debate as well. Why is a person considered heartless because he likes to argue his perspective? (Sorry if this is not what you were trying to imply.)

I don't think you're bad, I just think you don't know how to word things politely, or at least know how but don't make the effort to do so.

And of course you're in a relationship, everyone is in at least a few relationships with family and friends.

I disagree. I think that the human race wouldn't have gotten this far without building social relationship between other humans and using their experience and knowledge to survive together. I am a very independent person but even I think it absurd to think that human existence could survive without a social network. Human existence needs social relationships to survive if at the very least that just means procreation.

Sorry, meant "to a human's existence".

Random fact: female ferrets are another story.

That could be debated as well but I would accept that declaration more than the entirety of human existence.

I think saying that your significant other comes before games no matter what is kind of dumb.

I mean, obviously, if there's a crisis or something shut the damn game off and be there for them.  But in my everyday life, games are a part of me. 

I play games alone sometimes, and my girlfriend understands that I enjoy this and gives me the space.  During these times I'd rather be playing the game then be with my girlfriend.  Not because I "like them better" or anything, but because I'm a human being.  I'd say that's much healthier than always dropping games for your girlfriend, unless of course you don't even like games all that much in the first place (but then it'll be replaced by something else).

I guess what I'm saying is that if I had to choose between girls and games I'd choose girls, but I'd have to find another hobby pretty quick or I'd go insane.

You ever seen someone with no social interaction? Hermits go bonkers, man! So it may not be necessary for human existence, I think it is for human sanity. And by definition, not much IS necessary for our existence. Fluids, food, and air, yeah?

Actually, children are known to have severe health problems if deprived of human contact and would certainly not be competitive in adulthood in any evolutionary sense of the term without it.

Also, more literally, a huge reason we as a species survived to become the dominant species on Earth is our social nature.  So humanity's existence probably does depend on it.

Spot on. Think I'll copy and paste this in an email to my girl.. ;D