Such situation could only be caused by a battle of elder gods. Bored elder gods.

Someone tell me this doesn't look amazing.

Amazing and haaaard!  

I don't think I could control it that quickly with such precision.

It'd be nice if you could eventually become a gym leader - designing your own badge and fighting against trainers worldwide via Wi-Fi. I'd have an awesome flying type gym 

Dungeon keeper pokemon gym leader 

This. Please.

Vote for Shuma-Gorath!

good lord no

I say yes, at the very least because he/she/it(?) is a somewhat non-standard character in terms of gameplay and adds some variety. Besides, it is an eldritch abomination, what is not to like?

BOTTOMLESS PITS: Heros must eat to survive, heal wounds, clear potions, and save the world, generally pedestrian-style. But fantasy worlds have no bathrooms, nor a need for such distractions.

...But would you really, really, want a pooping mechanic? 
It was annoying enough in the Digimon games!

Agreed. Sometimes you don't want realism.

I hope the characters shown in the images aren't the complete cast. We need Shuma-Gorath. It isn't MvC without Shuma-Gorath. Viewtiful Joe would be nice too.

I really want this game to have some kind of story, even if just because of Deadpool. I love the way he completely ignores the fourth wall.

Oracle is ruining Sun's legacy. This is not funny, it is a tragedy. 
A rather ironic one, though.

I think a circle of stars is a better alternative than a heart. A heart is a good indicative the character is alive, but not so good that it is knocked out.

Relatedly -

*You will reach the final boss in every JRPG without ever using a single Elixer.

I'd love to see more games where those items feel like they're actually useful for normal play.

-SirNiko

They are useful, but:

*A powerful consumable item will be so rare that the player will never use it, since dying and trying again is less expensive.

Junkie's Law: Nondescript pills heal all wounds with no side effects.

I really think this one is weird, but I can't even think of any other approach. Hmm, Maybe staying a few days in a hospital, but it wouldn't work for most games.

Related:

Extreme Metabolism: Any food eaten will be digested and cause regeneration instantly.

* there are loads and loads of guns in the game, but they are all useless because the most basic weapon is so effective.

* there are loads and loads of guns in the game, but everytime you get a new one, all the older ones become useless.

*Weak spots are shiny, juicy, glowy or some combination of the three.

Again, I don't think that is bad design. If an enemy is only vulnerable in one or a few spots, they must be easily identifiable. As with my questioning of Valter's trope, it may be considered a copout, but is better than the alternative. Of course, they could be more resistent outside of these spots, instead of invulnerable, and have these weak spots appearing only when scanned, like the Killer7 approach. Even then, that would require teaching the player to scan every enemy, which is kind of a chore.

Do you really think a company that would release FFX-2 would be smart enough to remake FF7?

FFX-2 was nothing but a marketing move. Both a sequel of a well received game and an attempt to introduce RPGs to teenager girls(or whatever the target market was). It wasn't such a dumb move. It wasn't such a bad execution either. It just threw everything FFX was out of the window and put a pop/Charlie's Angles/something version of it in its place. The game itself wasn't too bad, the gameplay actually was at least decent, it just wasn't intended to the same audience.

That said, if they had no problem in taking a nice setting/story, changing a lot of important things to make it more "popular", just to make an extra profit on it, there is no doubt such company would make an awaited remake of an old game. In fact, they have been doing a lot of remakes lately. FF7's probably is not too far.

So why don't we discuss the interesting part of the initial post?

If we have to talk about the abstract potential of games, let’s ask different questions.  How can games make you cry?  What was the last game that made you laugh?  Where is the game that makes you understand what it was like to be a victim of Stalin’s purges?  These questions matter, because the experiences matter.  ”Art” is meaningless.

Games are a conversation.

It’s a clumsy conversation.  A designer like myself has to imagine what you want to say and then imagine what she wants to respond with.  Then, the process repeats.  The beauty of games is that I don’t have to be in the room with you.  Thousands of people can have a simple conversation with me through games.

They don't have to know about modchips. They just have to know whether the consoles they are buying run pirated games or not.
Where I live piracy is rampant, almost every game store sells modded consoles and pirated games. While I doubt it would be nearly as common in other places, I don't think it is too hard to buy consoles already modded.

The problem I have with those anti-piracy measures is not only that they are inconvenient and inefficacious, but that they are slowly taking away rights from the consumerss, like the rights to lend and to resell.

Nethack's extreme reliance on randomness, even by RL standards, is what I dislike most about it. Incidentally it's also what I like most about.

Well, it's random. 

*did you just get a much-needed windfall of healing kits, weapons, ammo, and other swag? BOSS TIME

Actually, I'm not sure if that is bad design. It would be worse if there wasn't a way to recover before a boss. If the player reached the boss with too much health/weapons, it would probably be a sign that the previous part wasn't challenging enough.

I actually thought it's a great idea. Especially because I always pissed on traditional JRPGs.

How considerate of you...

Anyway, there is no doubt it is an lie. It was posted on April fools and it is stupid. No company with a half-sane and completely greedy mind in command would want to go out of their way to stop people from buying a single-player game, even if they weren't the intended audience.

If it were truth, they would be either lying and hiding the intention of releasing the outside Japan later or they would be releasing Final Fantasy 7 Online (Join thousand other Clouds to fight the army of Sephiroths).

I like RLs conceptually, but, when playing, few of them actuallly get me interested for more than a few hours. Most of them have overly complicated and unintuitive interfaces, with lots of keys for different actions, many don't give the a compelling motive to go on other than the exploration itself and have the habit of delivering sudden permadeaths to people who explore/experiment too much. Many of them also lack short-term objectives. And even being different every time you play, most of times they don't feel different, they feel repetitive.

That said, I like the experimentation/discovery aspect and the tactical aspect given by the we-go system.

Something, I'd like to see in a RL would be not only procedurally generated objectives, but a procedurally generated narrative. Such a thing would be incredibly difficult to do, though.