Hi there, I guess I'm a little late to the party, but that doesn't really matter.

Who are you?
Why I'm Phallus99, pleased to meet you!
Do you have a real name?
Is Phallus99 not a real name?
Seriously, are you going to tell us?
Tell you what, my real name? I thought I already did...
What do you do?
Programming: C, C++, Python, Scheme, PHP, Perl, Java, and {insert random language here}. My preferred language is C, however, I am working on a 3D game, so I'm forced to do some stuff in it. It was really easy to learn as soon as you realize that classes are just more powerful structs, and that doesn't take long.
Do you do anything else?
Yes.
What?
Things. And with that last thought I'll post this.