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[FARTRON]

I know this isn't quite the point here, but I've been trying to find the name of this game for years.

Web-based galactic 4X, probably from the 90s. Older than Astronest I'd guess. Had an actual galactic map unlike most web 4Xs of the time. Also featured a complicated market sim for weapon pricing, and units like clans of warrior monks or giant battle robots.

[Droqen]

FARTRON: You know, there's actually a thread for that!
I wonder if it's still alive; nobody helped me find Cliche. ):

~

he stares from the sky and music is your only weapon against him.

[FARTRON]

Yeah I know. I posted the same question in that thread when it was new, and no one ever knew the answer. Forums are a lot bigger now.

[PleasingFungus]

"Upgrade your shotgun" is obviously DoomRL. No updates in nearly a year...

-

You need to punch the invisible bikers if you're going to make the jump over that canyon.

[TwilightVulpine]

You almost become a "jiggle" sandwich.

Would it be Resident Evil?

[Noyb]

You need to punch the invisible bikers if you're going to make the jump over that canyon.

Full Throttle? (Well, bikers with infrared goggles living in a hidden cave...)

your cybernetic hands can shatter shit, and even punch bullets out of the air

Bionic Commando?

it was all a dream, the signifiers signify, the dreamworld collapses

Link's Awakening?

shape-shift your way through levels rife with 'enemies' that cannot hurt you

Wario Land 2?

And because no one guessed mine yet:

You do spy stuff until you fall down.

If you don't shoot the ships down, you get pregnant.

Techno baby reconstructs earth's history and makes a big lady by shooting things.

Jump on some enemies, level up a bit, but oh no! The way is blocked. Time to press your magic puzzle-solving button. Puzzle solved! Onto the next world!

Hints: The first two are indie PC games. The last two are console games. Games 2 and 3 share similar shooting mechanics, although take a different perspective.

[Droqen]

Noyb: The last one is Super Paper Mario.

Ooh, wow. The first one is Gravity Bone?

~

Dustin: shatterhand?

[Noyb]

Noyb: The last one is Super Paper Mario.

Ooh, wow. The first one is Gravity Bone?

[Dustin Smith]

Noyb -- Link's Awakening was spot-on. Your answer was awesome for the shape-shifting one, but it's actually another game for the game boy.

Droqen:  

[Nitromatic]

You almost become a "jiggle" sandwich.

Would it be Resident Evil?

It indeedly is!
Oh boy, everyone loves Barry, right?

[Falmil]

You are willing to jump into oblivion and stomp on small birds for a dozen or so measly gold coins.

[Brother Android]

Noyb -- Link's Awakening was spot-on. Your answer was awesome for the shape-shifting one, but it's actually another game for the game boy.

Haha, is it Kirby?

[Craig Stern]

Collect things and shoot them into space.

---

The sun is an asshole.

---

Your vassal reveals your only weakness: attractive women.

[TwilightVulpine]

Collect things and shoot them into space.

Katamary Damacy

The sun is an asshole.

Super Mario Bros 3

[Craig Stern]

Correct and correct.  

Remaining:

Your vassal reveals your only weakness: attractive women.

[Brother Android]

The sun is an asshole.

Super Mario Bros 3

Haha, nice one.

Well, on the same theme, the moon is an asshole.

[Landshark RAWR]

i wanna be the guy

[Craig Stern]

Well, on the same theme, the moon is an asshole.

We had that one already: Majora's Mask (unless you're thinking of a different one).



My revised list:

--Your vassal reveals your only weakness: attractive women.

--Damn pirates keep blowing holes in my Tetris-block walls!

--Sociopath AI just can't seem to keep control of her children.

[Brother Android]

Well, on the same theme, the moon is an asshole.

We had that one already: Majora's Mask (unless you're thinking of a different one).

Oh, no, that's what I was thinking of.

[Fifth]

--Damn pirates keep blowing holes in my Tetris-block walls!

Rampart?