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December 17, 2014, 06:22:37 PM
TIGSource ForumsCommunityCompetitionsVersus (Moderator: Melly)[CANCELLED] Junkyard Excavating Robotic Keepers
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belbeeno
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« on: January 27, 2011, 09:04:11 PM »

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Thursday, Jan. 27, 20XX

Junkyard Excavating Robotic Keepers to be employed in all ASH HOLE SALVAGE junkyards

ASH HOLE SALVAGE are on the cutting edge of technology today having employed a fleet of highly experimental automated junkyard maintenance robots labeled Junkyard Excavating Robotic Keepers.  As they are built to replace humans, any employees involved with the following tasks are asked to "clean out your lockers and get the hell out" effective immediately:

  • Waste recycling
  • Disposing of surplus scrap
  • Dispatching deviant and hazardous junk
  • Jumping on platforms
  • Jumping off platforms
  • Keeping the pipes clean

Anybody involved with these tasks should evacuate the premises immediately or be escorted by attack dogs.  All remaining employees (upper management and Ricky the janitor) are asked to join your colleagues in the cafeteria for champagne and tacos to celebrate a record high profit margin this quarter.


Best regards,

ASH HOLE SALVAGE
The Management
« Last Edit: February 24, 2011, 02:10:19 PM by belbeeno » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2011, 09:19:58 PM »

Yessss! Glad to see you're making something for this! This idea sounds crazy interesting.

Real subtle with the insults there, too.
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