Life would be nothing without our little secrets. Like when you were in high school and found the underground bunker that your school built back in the '50s. And you started eating lunch there and one time you brought your girlfriend and that's how you lost your virginity. Or if that's not your style, how about finding a piece of bad furry art that isn't the soft touch of a woman but it's still good for a laugh. That works too.
Such beautiful secrets. They make you fuzzy inside because you're one of the select few that
know. And when you share them with others, the secret becomes even more potent and alluring.
Well today, I'm gonna share one of my best-kept secrets with
you.And you won't even need to remove your pants.
ring^-27 is a doujin shooter from blah blah blah yeah you've heard it all before but pay attention this time because this game will
rock your socks right off.#1: You can actually understand this one.Yeah, sorry about the whole Hellsinker thing. But whatever. I've learned my lesson. I know where to set the bar now. And now I'm back with a simpler game, one that doesn't require a Ph.D. to play. Nor enlightenment. Nor functional literacy.
So! Right now I'm going to teach you
everything you need to know to play ring^-27. Put on your safety helmet, 'cause here comes
the juicy one.
Shoot enemies to collect blue crystals. Once you have enough, press X to lock onto an enemy and steal that enemy's weapon. Blast other enemies to make 'em hemorrhage points, then kill the enemy you locked onto to cancel all bullets and cash in big time.
Oh, and dodge stuff.If you're a cool shmup daddy that's
in the know, yeah, the system plays a lot like Espgaluda. Except not as directly punishing and without the whole gender-bending thing that leads you down a horrible road writing disgusting fanfiction and illustrative 34 and eventually getting kicked out of Shmups forum.
#2: Mmm, lookin' fine tonight.Yep, this one was completely made by a single person too. The name's sumishiro, though not much else is known about 'em. What I can tell you, however, is that superstar made an absolutely
beau-ti-ful game.
. I know you're gonna love it. Thick, chunky pixels that you can sink your teeth right into. A soothing chip-chill soundtrack that tickles your ears with all the right harmonics. Every second spent with this game feels like jumping into an infinite dimension of pools, glasses still intact. It's an indie dream come true.
#3: Your game, your rules, your way.I'll be honest, I
absolutely love this scoring system. I could gush about it for hours; how it is intuitive yet rewards out-of-the-box thinking, how it manages to implement obvious scoring sections without those sections stealing the show, how it doesn't rigidly lock you to a suggested path throughout the level... And that doesn't even cover the fact that it's just so viscerally
satisfying to loop back around and finish a chain, bathing the screen in point items.
But who cares. Maybe you don't really care about score, or even survival for that matter. Maybe you're just looking for a good time, and can't even be bothered to meet the game halfway. And that's OK, because ring^-27 will make the entire journey
straight to you, just for you, because
the game loves you and
sumishiro loves you and
I love you too.So here's what ring^-27's bringin' to the jamboree:
* Four*2 different difficulty modes
(from easy to extra-extra difficult!)* Four different anchor types
(that's replay value!)* Unlimited continues
('cause when you come home, you don't wanna feel like a failure there too!)* Bullets turn red when they're gonna hit you
(learn to dodge like a pro!)And if that weren't enough, the game even gives you the option of replacing your default weapon with any of the others you've acquired in-game. I've even seen a replay or two of people making it through the game with the shot type that makes you immune to bullets. Sometimes you need that. Sometimes you need to feel strong. Feel unstoppable. ring^-27 can make that happen for you.
#4: Just shut up and let me play the damn thing.OK, here you go. That site contains a link to the trial, and then when you feel ready to buy the full version, you can just push a button and pay right there! It's quick, easy, and uses all the English words you've come to love!
(oh, and if you start digging the soundtrack, you can download that here)Simple, no?
Secrets. Magical moments. Buying your first pair of aviators and putting them on. Instantly becoming the coolest thing ever.
ring^-27. Indie development. Playing a game that nobody else knows about. Tasting the untasted. And it tastes
good.Hipster cred. Superplayer cred. Melt the teeth of your friends. Do it with style.
Now is the time.
Are you ready?