(*The) Blood quenches from her teeth; biting as hard as she can (*could) to distract her from the pain. Her nails tear through the side of her face, his skin fill(s) the inside of them (them what?). Her legs tremble, (*quickly) losing all humanity to the tantric feel. The Sin corrupted her faith, (*as) the light in her pupils fading (*faded). Spitting blood from (of) her mouth, some (of it) tunneled through her nostrils. (Fearing the words of her father, the obsession of her teacher & thoughts of her congregation; The Darkness overwhelmed the tempted “explosion”. *this sentence needs clarification, a rewrite or even deletion, does not add to the story*) Her bloddy fingers grab (*bed) her bible on the side, quickly flipping through the scriptures, her sub-conscience tries (*trying) to repent for her sins. (She) Desperately tries (*trying) to recite a prayer, but she lost the (*her) knowledge of the English language. (*The memories of the holy water she was bathe in for the nasty thoughts she yelled out during service flushed through scraping regret on the walls of her mind.* Incredidly confusing)
The Angel’s spells silenced by her swearing leaving them in confusion as they flew to her cries for help. Her hips in panic, her thighs swollen…as he kissed her she bit his tongue, tearing it some, blood flooded out his mouth but she returned by licking his face, coloring it a dark red. Not believing that only a few minutes had past by or not understanding why it wasn’t over. She was…”arriving”…the thing is the more she “arrive” the more her heart dimmed down to a light beat-she was leaving this world. The pleasure composed to the lost of her life. All of her senses-depleted. He thrusted more, building up to the much wanted “eruption”…she was fully climaxed then in that split second died in his arms. He exited after rest.
Many wondered what happened to the poor misled child of God as the church people starred at her so close at her distant body. They tried to figure how she died from the disluded expression. Some called it regular murder, some knew it was supernatural but none knew it was FANTASM.
Just the first paragraph:
(*word) are words I removed, while adding a few bits. You need to improve a lot, your writing goes too fast, but you change verb tenses, like James pointed out, but you also switch scenes too fast, and the sentences are confusing or just out of place.
I couldn't really keep interest to read the rest because I felt my brain took too long to decode the meaning, rereading sentences more than two times. I'm not from an english speaking country, though.
You need to focus the subject and stop hopping scenes like that. Some of it looks like a bad machine translation from Google.