So one day my 10-year old self
finds an old Game Maker copy (4.1, was it?) and decides to make 3 games... at the same time.
And they were finished in very different times, though it didn't take me more than a year to finish all 3, and it only took me that long due to lazyness. Please note that I don't consider these my first REAL games, those may come one day, if they ever get done.Here's the folder with the 3 games, if you dare. Best played when REALLY high.
Well, then, entering the very first game, Adventure v0.9, or as I like to call it, A 10-year old's NIGHTMARE FUEL, v0.9:Oh god my worst nightmare
This game had 2 modes: Adventure Mode, where you'd venture through 3 levels and collect the little dots (big ones = moar points), then reach the exit; and Lava Trouble Mode, where you'd have to venture through a level completely filled with lava hazards to win... except the whole thing is colored red and so is the lava
, so it's pretty much impossible.
So lets talk about this utter failure some more. The main "character" is... well, what the hell IS that? Maybe it was a weird-ass UFO or something, but it looks like a pizza shit
, so lets treat it as such. You start with -1 lives (Brilliant!
) and collect the golden heart (worth 2 lives) to turn it to normal. Those green things are acid, as soon as you touch them you start losing health REALLY fast (like, half-a-second-you're-dead fast). Later on, you meet moving spikes that get stuck in you, a few health items (that make you go over 100 health, woot), and lava that pretty much kills you almost instantly.
This is, without a doubt, a game that makes me rage instantly whenever I look at it. It's so incredibly pathetic in every form that I find it unbelievable I ever conceived such a monstrosity. Then again, it was a lesson learnt for good: even if I make something ugly as hell, I'll never make something so broken and un-fun ever
...what, you're still alive? Well then, get ready for ROUND TWO: BRICK BLASTING HAS NEVER BEEN SO STRAIGHT
No, I didn't shrink the image. The game is THAT small.
Brick Blaster, unlike the other two games, could actually have been remotely decent, as a coffee break anyway. The game had quite a few levels spanning five episodes (which you could cheat through by tapping the numbers 1-5), and you'd use 1 paddle for the first 3 episodes, 2 for the 4th episode, and 4 for the 5th episode. There were quite a few power-ups (including one that would instantly kill you and one that'd teleport you to the next level). What could possibly go wrong?
The answer would be everything
. For one, the game window was so tiny and the levels so small you could barely play the game. All the powerups weren't centered. Playing with 2 paddles is hard and 4 is almost impossible due to its small size. Worst of all, the ball physics were almost non-existent, as every collision was pixel-perfect in a way that most of the time it'd be either completely vertical or horizontal. And how would you fix it? By making the ball hit the very ends of your paddle. Seriously.
You could actually be stuck with the ball never getting to you, though thankfully I had a Restart button added (with a cost of one life). Even if you could play decently, though, the mouse would go off-screen... and so would the paddles! And if you clicked outside the screen, you'd have to click inside the game to have sound. Bah.
Oh, and, Default Windows Backgrounds, free random sounds and music, yay!
Though the last episode had some background made out of a 3D program or something.
Still the best out of the three games, though.
And now, it's time for Target v2.1 (seriously, what's with the version numbers in the exe files?), aka FINAL ROUND: SUPER SHITTY GRASSY SHOOTING GALLERY
With High-Definition Grass, 15 1-hit kill reloadable weapons and no HUD whatsoever! Oh, what fun!
Target is a gallery shooter, if that wasn't obvious already. It has 3 modes: Test Mode (aka infinite lives), Sniper Mode (targets randomly placed and you could only use a sniper), and Challenge Mode (Push 8 targets back as long as you can... a few seconds, at best). It was also the last game I made, so it uses a newer version of GM. Not that it makes it any less shittier.
Lots of lame grassy shootan. Not much to say about it, because it's completely pointless. Most of the time it' just targets coming towards you and you shoot them, and then they respawn at the start. That's pretty much it. But hey, 15 weapons, including an overpowered Wall Gun! Still more fun than Adventure v0.9, somehow.
So, yeah, whatever you folks made, I probably made worse in my youth. But it was the igniter for what was to come next, and I learned a LOT over time. About 10 years later, here I am posting these nightmares, and without any REAL game to showcase, though I have a few prototypes for testing purposes. Thanks to my incredibly vast gaming experience, I've become a sort of enlightened hermit gamer, whatever that is. One of these I might finally make a full effort into a pure gameplay-focused game, but until then, I'll be improving my skills, mostly GM 8.1 coding, especially now that I finally have a decent idea of what to make.
Oh, and you guys are awesome for posting your first ever projects. It's nothing to be ashamed, but rather something to remind you that you can