next »

[G1ynn3]

Hi guys,
I'm Glynne, a 25 year old entrepreneur who is on a mission to make sure we avoid the inevitable market saturation and solve the issues surrounding discoverability.

I believe in defying the status quo.
I defy the status quo by working with my team to provide elegant, simplistic, community building strategies for game developers.
My company markets video games.

Please give me any feedback you have

Let's reshape the industry, let's unite.

Thanks

Glynne.

[petertos]

Last person I remember was on a mission (from God) were the Blues Brothers (LOL). 

Aside from this, I'm interested and curious on how are you going to merge what you say you are going to merge. I'll send you an email.

[SterlingDee]

It's all very nebulous...I don't understand what you are pitching here.

[G1ynn3]

I'll remember to cut the nebulousness, next time
I've published the PDF online, so you can read through our service overview.
Let me know what you think!

Link: http://freepdfhosting.com/924b4e59e0.pdf

[SterlingDee]

Ok, some feedback:

you need to get to the pitch way earlier in your documents and posts! This written document is way too text heavy (there are entire paragraphs that could easily be cut out). At least break the first page up with some images. I would be weary of hiring anyone who could not communicate an idea succinctly to do marketing.

Also, this document you've posted is unattractive (colour scheme and text layout especially: you better hope a graphic designer never sees this because he/she may hunt you down for your design crimes).

[Xienen]

I have to agree with SterlingDee, though I don't believe it's quite as critical as he makes it sound.  The document could definitely use a graphic designer's touch and the writing could slightly be improved, but you are pushing an indie marketing company to indie developers; it doesn't have to look perfectly "professional".  I wouldn't necessarily be turned away by that document if you had a history of success or were willing to start the process for free in exchange for a high percentage of the revenue going back to you.  If, however, you are expecting to be paid upfront for your services, then I agree the document must be improved.

[SterlingDee]

I guess that's a good point - I never considered that the service might be free.

But a professional looking document would be just as beneficial for a free service, especially if the organization has no track record. You communicate a lot about the service and brand through the quality of sales documents. Create an amateurish (no disrespect intended - I gather you are not a graphic designer, OP) looking sales brochure/pdf and you communicate that the service will be amateurish (even if it isn't).

[Graham.]

Interesting. I don't get what you do yet though. You have a hook but not a pitch.

[G1ynn3]

Thanks for your feedback, I'll take it on board for the new iteration.

[SterlingDee]

Good luck! Hope I wasn't too hard on ya :D

[Guildenstern]

 

This advertisement needs a LOT of work. Also most of it should be on a website as well, rather than a .pdf. You appear to be trying to provide marketing for broke people. Good luck with that.

[G1ynn3]

Thanks for the insight, your opinion is invaluable.
It's best to be open and honest, to enable for a much stronger, more complete service.

[Graham.]

I've been thinking about this.

Consider. You have a business that provides a service, to indies who aren't used to such a service, at least I believe. What does it do?

I mean, if I were a business and I was looking for consulting then I'd just search around and find the best fit. But in this case I feel that biggest barrier is understanding why I would want consulting in the first place.

Like, what does your service look like? I get that you want to help market things and you have a list of things to do, but I don't see the how. Since the how isn't established I care less about the presentation and more about the content.

Show me how you might market something. I think that's the most important point.

[G1ynn3]

That's perfect, thanks for your time.

[Graham.]

*shrug*. You're welcome.

I think indie marketing is a big need. Greenlight, console dashboards, review sites: these aren't enough. We need something more.