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cesarpo
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« on: June 21, 2014, 08:23:03 PM »

Hey guys, I need some feedback. This is my first game, which has been released a couple of weeks ago, but i'm struggling to get the marketing side right.

I've done all by myself (I'm not sure if it's a good idea) from graphic/sound design to programing, even the game's website, and now I've finished the game's trailer.

This is the website:

http://poandthemachines.com/thedayofthetotems/

This is the trailer:





What do you think about all this? Also, english isn't my first language, so some texts may feel wrong, don't hesitate to tell which ones!

thanks!


BTW, "po and the machines" is my fictional company :D

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WildFactor
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« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2014, 11:00:14 PM »

the Game trailer is good. But you have the same flaw than me: you put too much text.
You don't need to explain everything when it's already understandable with the gameplay demo.

You should probably show the Gameplay of a hard/complex puzzle at the end or it may look a too simple game without depth.

For the Website: I will put one color (green, light blue ?) in the background.

Nice game.
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Kodakami
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« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2014, 08:18:14 AM »

Trailer is good. Funky music you got there. Certainly makes you game look appealing.

That being said for a game that is supposed to be on mobile platforms your site has VERY poor mobile support. I would look into researching responsive templates and mobile-first design language.
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OccamsRazor
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« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2014, 09:26:17 AM »

The trailer looks excellent, it really makes your game look interesting, and you get a great feel for what the actual gameplay would be like.

I think one part that may not be doing you any favours is the bullet points. They just don't do enough to provide that 'hook' for the reader to get them interested in your game. Things like "Six different gameplay elements, combined to form over 30 different possibilities" don't mean much to me when I'm coming in with no real knowledge of your game.

One of the best posts I've read on this kind of marketing text is here: http://www.theastronauts.com/2013/12/one-lethal-mistake-indie-marketing/

I'd recommend giving that a look if you have the chance.
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cesarpo
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« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2014, 06:53:03 PM »

the Game trailer is good. But you have the same flaw than me: you put too much text.
You don't need to explain everything when it's already understandable with the gameplay demo.

You should probably show the Gameplay of a hard/complex puzzle at the end or it may look a too simple game without depth.

For the Website: I will put one color (green, light blue ?) in the background.

Nice game.


Thanks for the feedback!


You are right about the trailer, I'm going to remove some texts, and add a better example of  how complex the gameplay can be. And yes, the white background in the website isn't very nice.
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cesarpo
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« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2014, 06:55:21 PM »

Trailer is good. Funky music you got there. Certainly makes you game look appealing.

That being said for a game that is supposed to be on mobile platforms your site has VERY poor mobile support. I would look into researching responsive templates and mobile-first design language.

Thanks! I've spent today doing a mobile-first layout, I was planning to do it, but wasn't sure  if it was worth it. But you made me change my mind.
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cesarpo
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« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2014, 07:02:40 PM »

The trailer looks excellent, it really makes your game look interesting, and you get a great feel for what the actual gameplay would be like.

I think one part that may not be doing you any favours is the bullet points. They just don't do enough to provide that 'hook' for the reader to get them interested in your game. Things like "Six different gameplay elements, combined to form over 30 different possibilities" don't mean much to me when I'm coming in with no real knowledge of your game.

One of the best posts I've read on this kind of marketing text is here: http://www.theastronauts.com/2013/12/one-lethal-mistake-indie-marketing/

I'd recommend giving that a look if you have the chance.

Heh, that was a very interesting read! Definitely going to change some stuff!
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Sir Fishelsworth
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« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2014, 04:02:06 AM »

The trailer looks great, but I agree with what others have said about there being too many bullet points.

The website is fine too, but perhaps you should put the links to stores right at the top of the page? I'm no expert, but I read that it's good for the first thing users to see on your site to be the thing you want them to do (in other words, buy the game!).

On another note, the game concept, music and style are all cool, but that jump sound effect is a little too high-pitched for me and might get annoying.
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MiNTO
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« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2014, 01:00:39 AM »

The game looks cool and pretty fun to play.

As everyone has said so far, the trailer is a bit heavy on words. It makes it feel a bit choppy and incoherent. It does make the game look and sound pretty cool.

The website is pretty nice, I would have the shop icons in the top banner and "share with friends" thing is a bit ugly and ruins a nice looking image.  The screenshots and video part is also a bit to small, and should be made a bit bigger so people can actually see them. I would also recommend adding a link to a press kit at the bottom so if any press come by they have something more in-depth to sink their teeth into.

Hope that helps and best of luck!
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Vanekiupe
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« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2014, 04:59:36 AM »

I agree with what was said before : too much text  Wink
You may try to involve the person who is watching a bit more (maybe "You are" can replace "Your character").

To help you, you can write your USP : "unique selling proposition". The point of the game = first sentence the player must see in the trailer. "What do I do when I play this game?" "I reassemble totems...".

But creating trailers is a difficult exercise, and you did a very good job ! I love the music, and it looks fun !

Good luck with your game !!!
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poe
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« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2014, 07:26:56 PM »

Trailer looked good but I immediately closed it when I saw "puzzle platformer with a twist" if there was anything more markety/indie/boring you could come up with I would be shocked.
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PowerGirl
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« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2014, 07:10:07 AM »

I like the trailer vey much and I think that your is a simply but nice website.

I also think that could be interesting to add at the end of the page a press kit where you can prepare a press release where you explain better the game (and so you can put into trailer less words, like someone says). Or a mail address to contact you for more information.
Then, I agree with changing position of " share content/social buttons - Fb and etc", maybe in the end of the page, near the press.

So, the first button that people can click are about stores.
But it's just my opinion.  Grin
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PowerGirl
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« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2014, 07:12:37 AM »

Last things: I won't put another color in the background, otherwise I will lose the focus of the page.
White is ok
But as I say before, it's just my opinion.

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