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[Impmaster]

Good luck man. 

That's a great goal.

[Conker534]

Yeah thats an awesome choice to make for yourself.

[s_l_m]

Thanks guys. I have stopped doing drugs, smoking, and eating meat before so I am at least hopeful I can do this. It is long overdue.

[Geti]

Sounds like it's the last nail to knock on the head. Can be a pretty toxic habit, and hard to shake, good luck to you and good job for taking the first step.

 

[framk]

After a lot of thought I've decided I'm going to drop out of college. This terrifies me, as I know I'll only continue being a constant disappointment to everyone who knows me. It's become nearly impossible to get out of bed in the mornings, and I think I need to work on my depression before I pursue any sort of degree. Games are all I have now and they're wonderful and beautiful and working on them with my friends is the only thing that I look forward to.

[s_l_m]

Good luck. My advice would be to not count out college in the future, but many people need to take some time off. Just don't let life get away from you and then you are 20 years from now without an education. Always keep one eye on the prize.
Hugs.

[Graham-]

After a lot of thought I've decided I'm going to drop out of college. This terrifies me, as I know I'll only continue being a constant disappointment to everyone who knows me. It's become nearly impossible to get out of bed in the mornings, and I think I need to work on my depression before I pursue any sort of degree. Games are all I have now and they're wonderful and beautiful and working on them with my friends is the only thing that I look forward to.

I've dealt with depression in various forms. School may or may not be for you. It depends, obviously. But I will say you have to make progress on something, even when you don't want to. That's how you clear up depression consistently.

[JWK5]

*What are you eating? Like it or not eating shitty food inevitably leads to feeling shitty. Not being hydrated enough can likewise take its toll on your system.

*What inescapable situations are you in? If you ever see a caged animal at the zoo you'll notice a lot of them display very similar reactions as do people when they are depressed or going through anxiety. I spent my early twenties with social anxiety so bad I couldn't leave my room let alone my house. The stress of entrapment very often led to depression which in turn led to less proactive steps to change my situation, leading to further entrapment and stress. It was never physical restraint that kept me pinned down it was a feeling of being overwhelmed and trapped by obligations I couldn't meet, expectations I failed to live up to, negative opinions of me that I began to believe about myself, etc.

*In what areas of your life or by whom do you feel slighted by. Where are you pushing and pushing and seeing no positive results? What are you stuck doing that feels less important than what you feel you should be doing? What do you really need that you feel denied of? What do you keep doing out of routine despite how meaningless it feels?


Having battled with depression (and a diagnosis of bipolar)it has beeing my experience that only the thing that changes depression is sudden and drastic change. You feel like you can't get out of bed in the morning, but I bet if you got a call first thing in the morning telling you that someone you love is in the hospital or telling you that you've just won a million dollars your ass would be out of bed at lightning speeds. Sudden change is a shock to the system, it kicks your body into overdrive and amps it up. You likely struggle to get out of bed in the morning because the days are becoming routine, blurring together.

College might be the reason you are exhausted, but carefully consider whether it is really the reason you are tired. The difference between tired and exhausted is that when you are exhausted it can be a good thing, it can be from hard work and a job well done. Your system is depleted and you've given all the oomph you got. When you are tired you feel run down, bored, isolated (even in a crowd), depressed, etc. Tiredness comes from unrewarding repetition.

Whether you stay in college or drop out, look for some drastic change to give your system a jolt. Put yourself in foreign territory to keep yourself on your toes. You can't bee depressed and excited at the same time, so if being depressed is breaking you then you have to turn to the excitement. At least that is how I managed to dig myself out of hell.

In any case, I don't mean to sound preachy or anything, nor do I know you or your life story or presume to judge it, but I hope this helps nonetheless.

[Graham-]

Nice to see you back JW.

[JWK5]

Thanks

[Leon Fook]

it's been a long while.

Nice to see you back JW.

[Tumetsu]

Today I went to biological research station to ask about civil service (alternative to army service in Finland which is compulsory). People there were really nice and enthusiastic of their research. I'd have to spend a year there helping them out in their research involving lots of diverse tasks from IT-support to trapping small-animals and counting wild-life. The previous guy told me how he had extracted a skull of beaver from half-rotten corpse of beaver   

Thing is that I'm not really sure if I'm "qualified" enough for that job. I'm interested in biology and nature but I'm still mainly a computer engineer so I'm not really sure how I would survive from daily "practical tasks" which I have zero previous experience. The place is also rather far away from my family and friends. Luckily I'm somewhat an introvert but still.

It looks like I have to decide in few days if I want to take the position or not. Atm it looks like the only valid alternative options are librarian's job at my home city but I don't know about the available positions yet. This thing stresses me probably a bit too much. I hate how insecure I can be when it comes to these kinds of things. Too bad there doesn't seem to be any service possibilities utilizing exactly my skill-set.

[matwek]

Thing is that I'm not really sure if I'm "qualified" enough for that job. I'm interested in biology and nature but I'm still mainly a computer engineer so I'm not really sure how I would survive from daily "practical tasks" which I have zero previous experience.

From someone who has worked in a job like that (Park Ranger) I would say they probably value enthusiasm much more than knowledge.
I knew very little when I started but I just picked stuff up as I went along and asked a lot of questions.

If I'm standing in a ditch, waist deep in water and I drop my hammer. I value the guy who fishes it out for me over the guy who can tell me what I did wrong that caused me to drop it in the first place.

[Tumetsu]

Yeah, that's probably true. Another thing is that I'm not really sure if I'd be enthusiastic enough. Like the previous guy had his room full of plants, lizards and strange experiments etc. which to me showed a good deal of enthusiasm. While in my case I just like to read books about biology and hike in forests. Then again this would be interesting chance to get familiar with the practical side of the scientific research and learn a lot in process.

[Graham-]

If you can learn something by going that's the most important thing. Everything else is just effort.

[JWK5]

I am giving up caffeine (to which has been my 24/7 life blood for as long as I can remember). I am about two days in and the withdrawals have kicked in full force. I feel like I am moving in slow motion and I have the overwhelming urge to attack the kitchen like a wild man looking for soda, coffee, energy drinks, or any other delicious bit of caffeine I know is stashed there... 

    

[s_l_m]

I am giving up caffeine (to which has been my 24/7 life blood for as long as I can remember). I am about two days in and the withdrawals have kicked in full force. I feel like I am moving in slow motion and I have the overwhelming urge to attack the kitchen like a wild man looking for soda, coffee, energy drinks, or any other delicious bit of caffeine I know is stashed there...  

   

I gave it up maybe like 6 months ago. The withdrawal symptoms are a long curve. If you were addicted enough to have the painful headaches those only lasted for me for like a week, but I didn't get back to a normal level of energy for like two months. The best advice I have for getting over the headache period is to drink plenty of water and sleep a lot. Try sleeping wearing sweaters too, sweating a bit helps if you are trying to get any drug out of your system (of course, don't go overboard). Also, don't do a slow reduction, cold turkey sucks for the first little bit but you will be far more likely to succeed (in my experience).

Edit: I don't think the term "plenty" is exactly what I am looking for. Drink a fuck-ton of water.

[JWK5]

Thanks for the tips. I am in 2 days cold turkey, drinking lots of water. The headaches have been hitting full force and the slo-mo feeling.

[Udderdude]

Gotta stick to 1 or 2 cups a day.  Hard to do if you've got an addictive personality or just love coffee too damn much.

[Simetrah]

If i'm not sure whether i'm Human or not, do i still get a hug if i ask to ?