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[Geti]

It does, and I will. Inspected 2 more places and applied for one today, here's hoping

[Tumetsu]

Moved to a biological research station today to do my civilian service and work will begin on Monday. Feeling a bit anxious and not sure of myself. Mainly a bit worried if I'm able to help people here properly since I'm mainly a software engineer not a biologist. Most likely I stress for nothing but still I feel unsure of myself and how it will go until next summer.

Then again I think it will be interesting to learn new stuff about biology. Mixed feelings.

[jiitype]

That's interesting, what kind of stuff are they gonna make you do there?

Mie joudun ensi kesänä inttiin ;__;

[Tumetsu]

Hard to say atm. I should help in the research and education so it will vary between taking water samples from lake with hydrocopter, doing IT related stuff to watering plants. Probably it will also depend on what they perceive as my skills, so I think I might be able to do some software development (if I suggest some myself). Partly the fuzzy work description makes me a bit uncomfortable since I'm not sure if I'm up to the some of the tasks (yeah, I'm a bit insecure with these things). People were really nice in the interview though.

Good luck with military. Though my advice is that if you doubt if that is a right choice for you, think and research about your options. Especially if you are older than 18 and have some possibly useful education.

[Tribune]

Maybe this will extend your knowledge and help you create a game... about plants? Either way, I think it's better than doing compulsory military service.

[Tumetsu]

Haha yeah, I agree. I'm intending to ask as much as I can about stuff and learn stuff. One of the reasons I chose this was that I have been interested in biology (mostly theoretical) for long time and I have been thinking of wanting to get involved in doing science. If I get really interested in it I might try to study biology after I finish my software-engineering studies.

[Geti]

Biology in general is fascinating, if very wide - I've done a minor in microbiology and have a girlfriend studying biochemistry. I'm sure whatever area you're working in it will be an exciting new field for you to explore, best of luck!

[Müsta Klaki]

Girlfriend to me: Your job isn't a real job and you're not thinking of the future

Me: Dead inside

[Geti]

(assuming this is about gamedev)

We covered this a few pages back I think, check there for more words on the same subject.

I've had to deal with that sentiment a lot over the past ~4 years from family and friends in some form. A lot of the time it (at least from an armchair psychology point of view, or their later excuse ) stems from being worried about your interests. I know the turning point for my father and his support for what I do was when I was actually able to afford my living costs plus pay off my education from gamedev, without debt - once they see you can do it at the level required for long term sustainability, that worry goes away and there's just support there.

Work towards reaching that level of sufficiency where it becomes a "real job" in terms of numbers as fervently as you can. Not only does it erase doubt, but it means they actually are wrong (as opposed to just kinda jerks) - you are thinking of the future + able to support yourself into it.

Before you get to that point though, it sucks. Many hugs.

[Graham-]

Yeah, as long as you succeed, the people who matter will be there for you.

[rj]

and if you don't succeed, they'll reject you forever!

haha, i kid. i'm just projecting my worst fears, nothing much. what about you? how's your life going?

money is tight right now, like it's hella super radical. i really need more freelance work. i'm doing a quick-fix indiegogo because i had a pretty rad idea but it's probably not gonna pan out and i need to find something soon. i love working on the games i'm working on. i'm doing soundtrack work for 2 different indies right now, which is awesome.

but it's not paying bills that well and illo work has hit a dry spell

on top of this seemingly everyone who wants graphic or logo design is someone who doesn't want to pay reasonable wages

it's a bad month. at least it's halloween soon. halloween is fun and nice.

i guess what i'm whining about is somebody pay me to make shit for you

[Geti]

If you don't succeed they'll probably do a mixture of "I told you so" and "I'm very sorry this happened to you" with a sprinkling of "but it's your fault, and I told you so", haha.

Re: someone pay me - sorry dude we've just hired a musician and we're full up on artists atm. Freelancing is hard, very glad I'm not doing that any more tbh.

[Blambo]

Girlfriend to me: Your job isn't a real job and you're not thinking of the future

Me: Dead inside

https://medium.com/@rachelnabors/dont-do-what-you-love-41312c943e2

if you can, get a job, go to school, and be practical. this and setting yourself up to do what you love are not mutually exclusive

it shouldnt be relevant whether or not your girlfriend tells you this. recognize advice on face value and dont attach it to the politics of your relationships and youll be happier overall

[Müsta Klaki]

Thanks guys... the game is seeing huge delays because I'm in the middle of moving and I'm literally working 14+ hours a day on moving/renovating the new house, so my girlfriend doesn't get to see me. So she's been very moody with me recently... and being mean. But she apologized over and over that day, because she was saying such harsh things without realizing it.

I will strive to make my game the best it can be! I can prove em all wrong... or try to at least.

[Blambo]

um

shes probably right though, even if shes being mean. idk what you financial situation/outlook is like but for most people i think her assessment is accurate

[rj]

Re: someone pay me - sorry dude we've just hired a musician and we're full up on artists atm. Freelancing is hard, very glad I'm not doing that any more tbh.

i'm flattered that you took my scream of ennui as a sincere plea

i mean that honestly

yes, freelancing is hard

[joseph ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

um

shes probably right though, even if shes being mean. idk what you financial situation/outlook is like but for most people i think her assessment is accurate

+1

[starsrift]

God, depression is so insidious.

I think I've got a handle on it. I'm okay. I'm certainly not thinking of suicide. Haven't in years. I'm trucking along, I'm okay... Aren't I?

I can't tell. Flat affect; I rarely feel anything. But I'm okay, I'm surviving. Doing stuff?
Not really. I'm not doing anything. I'm only surviving.

I withdraw from people around me. They don't make me feel anything, and they don't share my interests except in areas where I'm so knowledgeable I can't help but talk down to them. They bore me to death.
I don't even care anymore - except when someone wants to spend some time with me. I don't want to. I'm losing more and more interest in the world around me. I'm drinking too much, sometimes a fifth a day. Sober up for work, but that's it. I gain 60 lbs.

I still think I'm okay.

I start to feel something, maybe something needs to change. But I don't know what. And the lassitude, it's a killer. Relationships are the easiest things to let go of, because you just have to stop trying. That's all it takes. I wind up burning a couple relationships with some wonderful people, because I couldn't give enough of a fuck to work with them.

But depression's insidious. I still think I'm okay. Maybe, I just need a change. A new job, new something. Start doing new things, whenever I've got the energy. But nothing changes.

Then I hit that rock bottom again, that moment when life seems like a waste of time I shouldn't bother with, and I realize - that fucker, depression, that fucker's gotten me again, and kept me on the take for a few years now.
Goddamnit, and fuck. Fuckityfuckfuck.

Then I realize it's okay. It's just my brain chemistry fucking with me. I've got a handle on it now. I'll keep trucking along. I'm okay, aren't I?
I can't tell. Flat affect.

[Mittens]

God, depression is so insidious.

I think I've got a handle on it. I'm okay. I'm certainly not thinking of suicide. Haven't in years. I'm trucking along, I'm okay... Aren't I?

I can't tell. Flat affect; I rarely feel anything. But I'm okay, I'm surviving. Doing stuff?
Not really. I'm not doing anything. I'm only surviving.

I withdraw from people around me. They don't make me feel anything, and they don't share my interests except in areas where I'm so knowledgeable I can't help but talk down to them. They bore me to death.
I don't even care anymore - except when someone wants to spend some time with me. I don't want to. I'm losing more and more interest in the world around me. I'm drinking too much, sometimes a fifth a day. Sober up for work, but that's it. I gain 60 lbs.

I still think I'm okay.

I start to feel something, maybe something needs to change. But I don't know what. And the lassitude, it's a killer. Relationships are the easiest things to let go of, because you just have to stop trying. That's all it takes. I wind up burning a couple relationships with some wonderful people, because I couldn't give enough of a fuck to work with them.

But depression's insidious. I still think I'm okay. Maybe, I just need a change. A new job, new something. Start doing new things, whenever I've got the energy. But nothing changes.

Then I hit that rock bottom again, that moment when life seems like a waste of time I shouldn't bother with, and I realize - that fucker, depression, that fucker's gotten me again, and kept me on the take for a few years now.
Goddamnit, and fuck. Fuckityfuckfuck.

Then I realize it's okay. It's just my brain chemistry fucking with me. I've got a handle on it now. I'll keep trucking along. I'm okay, aren't I?
I can't tell. Flat affect.

It sounds live we have very similar lives.
Right now I wish I could just do what my brain knows is the wise thing to do without needing insane amounts of energy to push through the lethargy of depression.
Anyway, I hope we get better soon.

[Impmaster]

Starsrift, were you the guy who slept like 5 hours a day or was that someone else?

Anyways, (hug)