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[JWK5]

That's actually a really interesting question. I'm not quite sure how to explain it.
I watch comedy, stand up comedy quite a bit, actually. And I enjoy it, at least how I interpret enjoyment? But I never laugh or smile, again, because of flat affect. I mean, I've lived with this for a long time, and I generally know how to function in public. I can laugh, or smile, but I never feel it. If I'm watching these things alone, I don't. But I still like doing it.
That sounds maybe a little strange.

Have you done any research into anhedonia?

[starsrift]

Has it always been like that?

Yep.

Have you ever felt the laughing kind of happiness?

Once. It was terrifying. I'm far past the age where I can safely learn to process this stuff.

Have you done any research into anhedonia?

I haven't. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it's flat affect, but only for pleasure?
It's the damnedest thing, it really is.

[JWK5]

While earlier definitions of anhedonia emphasized pleasurable experience, more recent models have highlighted the need to consider different aspects of enjoyable behavior, such as motivation or desire to engage in an activity ("motivational anhedonia"), as compared to the level of enjoyment of the activity itself ("consummatory anhedonia").

"Flat effect" is one of the possible symptoms, but as far as I know it is more about a lack of enjoyment or a diminished sense of enjoyment. That feeling of emptiness and lack of drive where everything just kind of feels "blah". I've only just begun to read into it, but maybe research relating to it can give some clues on how to cope with those feelings.

[clockwrk_routine]

butts

[starsrift]

(Some stuff deleted after a few minutes' consideration; I'm not nearly as comfortable being cordial as I could or perhaps I'm just uncomfortable with the attention. I'm not sure. But this is a long parenthesis to excuse saying nothing where once something was.)

...sorry if I come off too assuming, I mean the best

Not at all. I'm actually quite touched by the number of people posting in response.

I haven't said thank you for every response from everyone, but I do appreciate it.

[clockwrk_routine]

i saw your message in my email
god I need to stop trying to give advice and acting on impulses
I'm really insensitive, and I don't think it necessarily comes from a completely sincere place
gonna take a break from the internet

[starsrift]

I didn't think that at all. Seems an unwarranted response, Keo. D:

[butts_mcbutts]

yea that was dramatic. uuuugh 
but yea I dunno I just need to process a lot of different things

[Dacke]

Has it always been like that?

Yep.

Have you ever felt the laughing kind of happiness?

Once. It was terrifying. I'm far past the age where I can safely learn to process this stuff.

Oh man

Eggs are good

Yeah, no. That video is almost complete BS.

[Schoq]

what if the stress that comes with worrying if normal food like an egg is ok to eat has more negative health effects than the diet itself could ever come close to

what then?

[Dacke]

No one is forcing you to worry about it. I'm interested in truth and if someone posts a myth I feel compelled to correct it.

[eyeliner]

When I was depressed, and was seriously contemplating ending my life in a way that wouldn't immediately kill my mother in the process (I even planned, munching pills, and letting myself die in bed because I spent a lot of time in bed), conceiving an apologetic goodbye letter, you know, the works.

I just wanted to be burned after death.

Now, when I decided I would in no fucking way end like that, I decided to spend more time out of bed. And go outside. Breathe fresh air. Listen to music. Walk a bit.

I was already invisible at home (a bit my fault) and felt all kinds of miserable, so I just cocooned and just about hated myself. So I walked. Headphones on, music pumping, I just walked. Went somewhere for an hour, circled, came back home. Another hour passed. Sometimes more than once.

I sometimes went to a coffee shop. And read the newspaper and read stuff that made my problems next to nothing. But they were mine. And I had to deal with them again.

I had no one to talk to (really). I slowly, accompanied by my books, videogames, TV came back. And I won't return there. EVER.

Now, my life is led with a bit of happiness, insanity, frustration, tiredness, a wife, a baby daughter (almost three months, yo!) and I feel (generally) happy.

I've been in the bottom of pit, and the rise is arduous, but with a bit of effort, day by day one can make it.

[Wolf_FGR]

When I was depressed, and was seriously contemplating ending my life in a way that wouldn't immediately kill my mother in the process (I even planned, munching pills, and letting myself die in bed because I spent a lot of time in bed), conceiving an apologetic goodbye letter, you know, the works.

I just wanted to be burned after death.

Now, when I decided I would in no fucking way end like that, I decided to spend more time out of bed. And go outside. Breathe fresh air. Listen to music. Walk a bit.

I was already invisible at home (a bit my fault) and felt all kinds of miserable, so I just cocooned and just about hated myself. So I walked. Headphones on, music pumping, I just walked. Went somewhere for an hour, circled, came back home. Another hour passed. Sometimes more than once.

I sometimes went to a coffee shop. And read the newspaper and read stuff that made my problems next to nothing. But they were mine. And I had to deal with them again.

I had no one to talk to (really). I slowly, accompanied by my books, videogames, TV came back. And I won't return there. EVER.

Now, my life is led with a bit of happiness, insanity, frustration, tiredness, a wife, a baby daughter (almost three months, yo!) and I feel (generally) happy.

I've been in the bottom of pit, and the rise is arduous, but with a bit of effort, day by day one can make it.

I never understood suicide...

I mean, personally, if I were really into that thing, probably I'd fix some world problems first, like killing as most corrupt politician, lawyers and corrupt people in general as I can... perhaps I'd buy some serious guns and go to one of those extremely corrupt latin america countries and kill some of those commies motherfuckers and then explode myself inside their parliament (which is guaranteed to kill some corrupt commies). At least I'd do something good and kill some bad guys, because, you know, nowadays the good guys won't kill the bad guys any longer so they're reproducing like cancer and taking over the world.

But you know, just putting a bullet to my head and end like that... I would never do that before killing at least a couple of motherfuckers.

Just to clarify, I'd never kill someone only for being communist, although I'm extremely anti-communist I respect people opinions. Most (not to tell all) communist/far-left leaders and politicians are extremely corrupt and don't give a single f**k about their people, for reference just look at any communist/communist-wannabe country in the world. Latin america has lots of them. People starving with absolutely no dignity whatsoever, public services much worse than post-wwii germany, and their politicians and aristocrats living large like the monarchs of middle-east (other guys seriously deserving a bullet to the head) because they all pay for private services while the public communist-style services provided to people are horrific.

As long as a nation respect and ensure the basic individual human rights for everyone, the best way to go is regulated capitalism. The only thing necessary is to promote competition and avoid monopolies.

Luckily for the bastards of the world, I don't plan ending my life that way . Some nukes are more appropriated for my plans... just kidding .

[Geti]

Of course, you could look to Scandinavia for a reasonable, successful implementation of socialist ideals but I'm assuming you're way past that, what with dumping a multi-paragraph political tirade as a response to someone's story about overcoming their wish for suicide.

Congrats on the kid, eyeliner; glad to hear your life is looking up.

[Wolf_FGR]

Scandinavia

Of course the Nordic countries are civilized and stuff, but they have a huge problem, the judiciary system is simply a joke, and I'm not exaggerating here, it literally is a joke among the criminals (specially drug smugglers) of the world so big is the 'benevolence' of the system. I think in part that's because the judges are completely alienated from reality, they are living their perfect lives and they don't have the slightest idea on how things works... it's either that or they feel empathy/pity for the scum... in any case it doesn't work and shouldn't be called judiciary system but 'free hugs booth' or something like that. Most European countries suffer from 'excessive judicial benevolence' to some degree, but the Nordic countries (+Netherlands) are way over the top imho. The cops arrest and the judges release... I wonder if it would be better to fire them both and buy guns for the people with the money.

Another problem is monarchism, I know it hardly means anything nowadays in terms of Europe, but I don't want to live in a country where I don't respect the laws, or from another pov, where the laws disrespect me. It's a matter of principle. I think everyone agrees that any Nordic has freedom in practice, however, unless you're dealing with violence, freedom is intangible, it's a kinda state of mind, it's figurative, and having stupid traditions like that really affects me as an individual; it's outrageous to have monarchies nowadays, even if 'only on papers', I'd feel offended living in a country where I should give a sh*t about a f*cking monarch soab. Their (OK, most of their) ancestors never gave a sh*t about their people, people were all deluded to think they gave, that's why there are so many 'cute princess' tales and stuff. Even nowadays Disney is still teaching our kids to love these f*cking monarchs sumb*tches.

That's why I was extremely disappointed when I discovered that Ulfric wanted to be the next f*cking king, because I was all like "give the people of Skyrim the freedom they deserve", and since freedom must be demanded by the oppressed, as it's never gladly given by the oppressor, the plans to crack everyone's skulls were pretty plausible.

That's why imho, at least in theory US is a much better role model than, say, Sweden, of course things don't work in practice and there's a lot of stupidity, including that lobbying thing, but part of the problem is the people, because everyone knows who is defending comcast and why (i.e. how many $), now it's just a matter of not electing the same sc*mbags again. It's better this way than making lobbying illegal, because lobbying is always going to exist - because of the human nature -- people are corruptible as hell. In countries where lobbying is illegal they have much more serious problems with lobbying practices.

I'm not even mentioning the fact that in most 'civilized' countries some people are all 'dandy', they see a cockroach and go all sissy, while they play the 'macho man' in their daily routines. I don't like people like that. If that's being civilized, living your entire life pretending you're a perfect-something, then I'd rather be a troglodyte. Life is too short to live it ridiculously like that.

[Impmaster]

Oh my god. You're like the very stereotype of the hyper patriotic American. Do you watch Fox News? Do you think all the Muslims are terrorists and the black people are here to rape your wife?

Did you support the US army in the Iraq war because you thought "9/11 is bad. freeeeedommmsssss fur all"

Have you ever been outside your little farming village in Nowhere, Iowa?

[JWK5]

Bear in mind that the point of this topic is to be supportive of other TIGS members who could use cheering up or helpful advice. Take that discussion elsewhere, please.

[Schoq]

I dunno how dumb you'd have to be to take a system that should work in theory but demonstrably doesn't over one that keeps working in practice

[Netsu]

Of course the Nordic countries are civilized and stuff, but they have a huge problem, the judiciary system is simply a joke, and I'm not exaggerating here, it literally is a joke among the criminals (specially drug smugglers) of the world so big is the 'benevolence' of the system. I think in part that's because the judges are completely alienated from reality, they are living their perfect lives and they don't have the slightest idea on how things works... it's either that or they feel empathy/pity for the scum... in any case it doesn't work and shouldn't be called judiciary system but 'free hugs booth' or something like that. Most European countries suffer from 'excessive judicial benevolence' to some degree, but the Nordic countries (+Netherlands) are way over the top imho. The cops arrest and the judges release... I wonder if it would be better to fire them both and buy guns for the people with the money.

And yet those are the countries with some of the lowest crime rates in the whole world.

Luckily no one is forcing you to leave your country, just stay there and kill your own people if you really must.

PS: You do realise you just literally said that the best way to kill yourself is to become an international terrorist suicide bomber?

[Wolf_FGR]

Bear in mind that the point of this topic is to be supportive of other TIGS members who could use cheering up or helpful advice. Take that discussion elsewhere, please.

Yeah, lemme just defend myself here. I'm not going to post any longer, and please guys if you want to discuss this further just make a new thread.

Oh my god. You're like the very stereotype of the hyper patriotic American. Do you watch Fox News? Do you think all the Muslims are terrorists and the black people are here to rape your wife?

Did you support the US army in the Iraq war because you thought "9/11 is bad. freeeeedommmsssss fur all"

Have you ever been outside your little farming village in Nowhere, Iowa?

Oh, sure... you say "f*ck non-working judiciary systems and monarchies" and you're automatically an American patriot. Humans are more complex than that.

I dunno how dumb you'd have to be to take a system that should work in theory but demonstrably doesn't over one that keeps working in practice

And how dumb one have to be to believe that a system that doesn't work not even in theory should work in practice? If the thing works in theory, there's a chance that eventually it will work in practice, but if it doesn't work not even in theory, it's surely not going to work in practice. You said 'one that keeps working in practice', if you're talking about the Nordic countries, then I'm afraid I won't call that something that 'works'.

And yet those are the countries with some of the lowest crime rates in the whole world.

Luckily no one is forcing you to leave your country, just stay there and kill your own people if you really must.

Would you feel comfortable living in a country where someone who kills 77 people and tries to kill like, 500 others (successfully injuring 300+) ends up with a sentence of 21 years? Do you think that's fair? I'm just telling that judiciary systems should be fair, not 'good' nor 'evil', but simply fair. That's clearly not fair for me, just like the two teenagers who raped a 10yo girl and only had to wear the ankle monitor for 3 months. I wouldn't like to live in those places. See how I wrote "I" and not "We"? I'm talking just about me.

I see that it would be much better if everyone were educated, civilized and have opportunities to the point they wouldn't become criminals, of course that's what governments should pursue for their people, but the real-life is not perfect. There's always going to be criminals everywhere, and imho they should be punished for their crimes. It doesn't matter if there are only a few of them.

Those countries have low crime rates because most people are highly educated there. Not because they punish their criminals. It's kinda ok to be criminal there.

I have relatives all over Europe. The countries there are all about stupid bureaucracies (did you know you need a permit to paint your house in Sweden?), "unjust justice", and lack of freedom to the point you can't have a gun for self-defense.
It's okay to have a long-range high-power rifle to kill animals or to have a SMG to shoot pointlessly in a shooting gallery, but self-defense is not an acceptable reason to have a gun. I mean, I even understand that they restrict the types of guns you can have and even forbid carrying guns around, but you can't even have a handgun/shotgun to defend your home. Nonsense... unless they think the criminals will also respect the laws, in this case it does make sense. Unfortunately that's not how the real-world works.

I'm not saying that US it not over-saturated with guns, that's a fact. I'm just saying that the right to defend your home using whatever means necessary should be guaranteed to everyone. I'd feel like a lab rat living in a place where I don't have that right, even if the chances of any incident are almost zero.



EDIT:

PS: You do realise you just literally said that the best way to kill yourself is to become an international terrorist suicide bomber?

If I were in a room with all these corrupt commies motherf*ckers, I'd gladly attach a nuke to my belly and explode it. You're welcome humanity .