Before I start, play some
. You'll thank me later.
So...
Seeing myself as a fairly new developer, even if I've been making small projects since around 2011 , making a small prototype of things I think of in the bath or at school and also going to countless game jams, I still have that empty void in my soul, which kicks in every time I try taking up a more serious project.
Mostly due to my young age and inexperience, I've found myself working alone in the cold nights and questioning my worth in this field.
I used to post some clones on TIG, at which I look at today in great shame. I categorized them as "a learning project" or a "breakable toy", which was just a lame way to say that I was very uncreative and lacked the skills necessary to make an original project.
A few years later(aka now) I find myself thinking the same way as the people who critiqued me when I had posted those "games". Even now I feel like I don't belong in the community of game developers, but somehow I still feel like I don't need to prove myself in a way.
Game development has been more of a hobby to me. I consider myself one of those "game dev hippies", who think games are more of an interactive art form than simply a means of entertainment.
I went through the forums again today after a long time of not seeing myself as worthy. In the end I find that game development is not really about worth, but more of showing to yourself that people may like the projects that you work on, even if you find that your project is not really finished and doesn't stand out.
And here I am, talking about the "Impostor Syndrome", is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. (via Wikipedia)
It's really not a good thing to have, and it is not easily gotten rid of. As an example, I'm going to be using my old clones.
Seeing a game with some sort of success and some public acceptance possibly made me feel like it was a good idea to COMPLETELY RIP OFF THE ENTIRE GAME!
By ripping off, I mean - mechanics, music, sounds, art, animations, the whole game?
As I said, I classified them as "my way of learning how to make games", which was true, but I never said I was good at ripping off other people's games.
Reading through my old posts I find people with the same current mindset, telling the old me that it's like :
digging a hole and filling it up again
... which is completely true!
Of course, there is the question of what counts as "original", but games, being an art form, have many different variants.
But how does the impostor syndrome fit in?...
In your effort to put out a non-original game, the critique on it strengthens the effect of the syndrome, making you feel like you can't even rip of something successful.
My tips on how to overcome things like that are to sit down for and evening, and just make a game about things that you are passionate about, things that make you angry.
Tap into some emotions, some flaws of yours... heck, even make a game about your impostor syndrome, with cool jazz music in the back.
<insert Inception sounds here>Just do that for an evening, and just publish it wherever you like! Just look at it as a ultra mini-ludum-dare competition.
Listen to critique and feedback, and don't feel ashamed if someone calls you an impostor, because you're not!
Making games is mostly about fun, and about building your self-consciousness and confidence.
Well... that's all from me for now. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer.
And just make games... you'll feel better about it later.
-Artylo out- 
Player
