Ok this is going to be the best introduce yourself, how it doesn't get its own topic is a mystery also respect of you people's mysterious customs
So I am the Monster King. This means that when you see a monster, i am its king. Monsters include things with really long horns, with cool teeth and a lot of hair. They do not include vampires because those are gay (i mean the gay as in happy as i am sensitive of homosexuality which is a thing that also happens among monsters though for different reasons because usually we have trouble determining what is our gender due to all the horns and which one is not exactly a horn and so. Me i'm ok i know i'm a guy so i'm a king it's all right (i am not a homosexual though i like womensters (that's a pun on women and monsters))
i think a ) is expected but what is this, a programming window? Well i'm no artist, my talents are in the game design and the program of the ing, but i'm not like a guy with twelve thousand phDs, i just have an infinite technician's... technical? whatever you guys from the US call it
*Warning* i come from the land of fishes... Phil fishes *Warning*
Ok so i am a guy who wants to make games since he is three years old. I am now a little more than seven times this age so i hope three year old me isn't angry about how long that took, i was even less patient back then! One day i decided that RPG Maker was a solution and i made RPGs on it and never finished them. I played a lot of all kinds of games so i really don't know what games to mention here, like everything except sports and driving because that is SO CASUAL
I guess there's one game i really feel like mentioning and it's E.V.O. Search for Eden because that's the story of a small fish that becomes a lion with bull horns and rhinoceros skin because humans kinda suck in that game and they defeat aliens
DEFEATING ALIENS IS COOL even though i really like them they're cool guys when not invading earth
in a way they are monsters... after all...
Ok so one day i met this guy he was like Hagrid and he told me, you're a Game Maker, Ren (my name is Renaud it is pronounced Ren-OH it's a name fit for a king, people call me Renaud or Ren when they don't call me The Monster King or just Monster (in french or english (yes people really call me Monster (parenthesises are sweet))))
his name was Frankie, you might know him for being like the best pixel artist on the earth let me plug his website
http://frankiesmileshow.com/anyways so he's all, fuck RPG Maker that is for little persons and even though you're not as tall as me because i am a FUCKING GIANT you're tall enough
-=Fucking Giants, HP: 1200, Mp: 0 Atk: 22 def: 3 Sex: 9999=-
==giants that attack with their high sex drive==
==item drops: giant like in feet instead of inches dildo==
==weakness: nutkick element(or ovarykick if giant is female)==
man ovarykick must hurt but i wouldn't know, i just got this pair o' balls
so yeah Frankie is all, learn Game Maker so i'm all ok
I touched some programming that isn't RPG maker before but it was like, a fleeting soft caress and maybe microworlds, which is like porn for children if we follow my precedent analogy where programming is sexual (which most of us should believe it is) but i suppose it was an important stepping stone in my development even though it kinda sucked
like it had an engine of 12 Hz or something i don't really know how that works like i said i'm no superexpert on prog i just do it
so i learn game maker and realize that it is fun but i never get around to finishing a game yet it is better
one day Frankie and I decide to make a game, he is skilled in Grafix AND Pro-gramming (determining PROFESSIONALLY how many grams the electrons of your game weigh (that's now how physics work))
so we make in 3 hours because of the poppenkast
ok it's important to say that since i met Frankie, maybe a bit before i saw a few things here and there on the net, i am a big netter for internets but Frankie sort of introduced me to the communities, like he's big on GamingWorld where they make B-balls, and he showed me this and Dwarf Fortress and shit and also the Poppenkast
so it's this competition and Frankie is an artistic pixeler so he's all let's make it only in 4 colors that is so cool and i'm all sure whatever so we make the game about a fish it is my first finished game but it's 3 hours long and done with a dude so i'm all you know it's not that cool
i'm kinda shy to come out, make my game-making coming out to these forums where like-minded people accept me whilst the rest of the society simply cannot understand my choice
but
what they don't know is... it's not a choice... you're born a G-Macker (Game Maker but cooler)
oh also we have a friend he is funny his name is Lurdiak, he did sound effects and the goofy song which is the only thing that finnsworth is known for i think
so Frankie comes up one day and coincidentially its my birthday so he shoots his load in my face and by that i mean copies data from his USB drive to my desktop and it's a curious EXE and turns out it's a virus and i can't ever use a computer again cuz its contagious
hhheh did you see that twist coming whops i'm trolling you it was A GAME happy birthday me wow Franks you really drew me ugly
but the game was really fun and had cool SFX made by Lurdiak and all you can download it on his site
so i'm all DAMN me make a game
ok so now in case you didn't realize it i'm a giant-egomegalomaniac, i am a king and it shows, my zodiac is Leo which is the name of a guy, also it means Lion which is the king of the animals, he has a cool mane like i do because long hair is awesome, i also like really long hair in girls but short too??? not too short though! i like hair, but not hair hair, hair
i liked this hippie once and she had hair hair
she was blonde so it wasn't that bad
she really didn't like me though, so goes life
so yeah i'm all GOTTA MAKE A GAME AND FINISH IT and since i have an ego the size of the sun because my ego IS the sun in case you did not notice the resemblance (we are both made of superheated hydrogen and helium)
so most of my games like maybe half maybe more are like about me and my friends that is so cheesy, but cheese is delicious, mushrooms too but you can't say that, mushroomy
but i never EVER finished them though i'm on to a good start but that's a spoiler now
and me and Lurdiak we're all OK let's do a game for Frankie for is b-b-b-bday
at first we're all OK GO LETS DO IT THIS WEEK HIS BIRTHDAY IS IN 8 DAYS and then WOOPS WE'RE LATE DO THIS and then suddenly it's all FUCK IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR
so Lurdiak is kinda angry with me and i'm angry with me too, but things happen and i have school (he doesn't that slacker) and we're all fucka-fuck-fuck
but like just this winter suddenly it's like the pantheon of game making gods smile upon me (i think it's like Derek Yu seriously that guy ALWAYS smiles and Tarn Adams because that guy ALWAYS works i'm not sure who else to include you guys that made 1 game or more are probably cool enough to be small gods) and BAM i mack a gam with the energy of poodles (they are an energetic dog)
but suddenly it is the depression and like i need a job and a shave, so i get the shave but job-hunting goes bad
and then impending Frank-B-Day
so i look at what i have for his last year game
and i'm all HHHEH fuck this it'll take way too long
Lurdiak is all Fuck You
i'm all no Fuck You i'm making a smaller game and you're making me fucking sound effects for it and a song and i'm getting Chef goddamn Boyardee to make music for it
Chef Boyardee is an internet friend's of Frankie and he is best known for making Barkley: Shut up and Jam Gaiden and its music, seriously the guy is a genius chiptuner even though B-ball game didn't have chiptunes really but he makes sort of both (chiptunes and tunetunes)
so i contact him secretely through mysterious channels, it's worth noting i tried to do that last year but since we game-crashed he did one song and i didn't ask for more because i felt so bad
but now finally i made it. i made frankie's B-day game for saturday
and like a nubile pokémon i change shape from a lurker to what i hope will be a regular poster, because my condition to myself for involving me in this community which i read (i know all your secrets seriously) frequently was to make a game, myself, no Frank-crutches
so yeah not to sell hotdogs but
http://www.mediafire.com/?jed1nwomdzy play my gatdamn fuckin game it comes with a free demo with a time limit of infinite and the full version costs one million monsterdollars which can only be traded in comments but words are worth a lot so you guys should be ok also i might update it once in a while
i think i've said a lot, maybe not everything but i hope i was one of the longest non-Paul-Eres introductions (i just wanted to say something cool about a poster you guys know but i didn't really read Paul's intro so maybe it was like 3 words, like, Paul Eres. Game.)
To finish i will put in the lamest teaser pic ever made by the hand of man (technically me, i keep spare man hands in my fridge, it's like saying ever made by a pen) before doing a cool bio thing for those who don't like to read
so yeah notice how it's me in there, like my avatar but unstretched because apparently i suck at formatting avatars, the other three are cool friends to whom you will never talk to, but you know whatever they're the men i like the most in the world and i'm making a game where we beat stuff up and i hope you guys will enjoy it anyway and that there will be personality in it or whatev
oh yeah what's written is "Boucherville est entre bonnes mains" which is "Boucherviller is in good hands" it's a shitty suburb near my shitty suburb and the subject of many jokes
ok cool bio time
Name: Renaud "The Monster King" Cormier
Real Name: The Monster King
Race: A monster
Gender: M... for monster (i am being hilarious by repeating myself)
Favorite food: there are so many things i like to eat it would be quicker to just say i hate olives and raw tomatoes(any other form is cool) i really like weird meats and seafood i guess
Favorite game: fuck this there are 10000 good games but E.V.O. is worth mentioning i'll stop before i name 10000
Favorite genres: Maybe this is easier, i'm a competitive fighting game player and i play pokémon too, as the Monster King i've played ALL OF ITS CLONES EVER and enjoyed at least half but only pokémon has the inching of balance i look for. I used to play RPGs a lot, now it's here and there, i still like strategy RPGs though because i am a giant robot fan and that's how they happen in Japan, in strategy rpgs, and i don't mean Front Mission sissiness i mean Super Robot Wars, i like pretty much everything inbetween i mentionned, platformers and shmups are cool and beat 'em ups hold that special place in my heart because you play them with friends (friends are cool stuff)
Likes: games, game music, gameboys and game girls hhheh just wanted to plug game girls in there as a joke, not really a fan of gameboys even though i have both a DS and a PSP, speaking of girls i like redheads and i noticed you guys have a game-making redhead so The Ivy i am your creepiest fan because best fan and most handsome fan are probably already taken
i'm also Derek's creepiest fan, if you were a girl derek i would marry you no matter how many times you would ask "who are you"
i also like eating food a lot and long walks on the beach, and they don't really have to be on the beach but now i think i'm gonna be quoting XKCD or some other comic joke but like i walk for HOURS at a time sometimes through Montréal mostly (it's close to where i live a mysterious suburb that sucks) so they have to be long, i like animals a lot, like i know EVERY ANIMAL if you start arguing with me about animals that is an error, that is like arguing with a monkey about bananas and monkeys really like bananas and know all bananas by heart, well i know every animal, tiny and huge (refraining from your mom joke) like the manatee (whoops too late(w...was that meta)) and i love them and i am really insulted when people don't believe in evolution (it happens) to me it's a bit like saying my black friend is not intelligent because he's black like nice going insult all my eleventy thousand billion friends at the same time i guess DNA is just for show
er sorry i hope i didn't offend your religion for those who carry one, giant robots, cool heroes, cool monsters, hero monsters, giant monsters, giant robo-monsters, small robo-monsters(they are cute)
also i liked super joe what happened to him
oh yeah i like to write too in case you didn't notice
dislikes: vampires (they don't count. except for one), being lazy, bad stories, not being in the spotlight (did i mention my ego), i think i had a pretty good one 12 minutes ago but i forgot, so now i will dislike injustice
Skillz: i am a beginner animator and a shitty pixel artist, i'm an okay-ish programmer and i'm a crazy(yeah. you decide) writer. I write a lot. It's better in french though.
--=======+-*/forwhileifthenelsedickswitch=-=-=-=-=-=-=
for those who really don't like to read:HELLO I AM THE MONSTER KING A MONSTER I WANT TO MAKE A LOT OF GAMES PLEASE PLAY MY GAMES AND I WILL PLAY YOURS AND IF tHE GAME IS GOOD I WILL REFRAIN FROM DERIVING NUTRITION FROM YOUR CHILDREN THAT IS EATING THEM BUT WHEN I SAY THAT PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WHAT YOU PERVERT THAT IS SEXUAL DISGUSTING AND I AM ALL NO NO I JUST WANT TO COOK AND DEVOUR THEM AND YET STILL I GET THE WEIRD LOOKS BUT WHEN I EXPLAIN IT IS JUST STOMACH AND BOWELS ITS USUALLY OK