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[ProgramGamer]

Well, what I try to do personally is just make something that I would have loved to play myself. The platform game I'm "working" on is mostly just me trying to figure out how to make games that are interesting to play and that feel good to control, so I use myself as a gauge bar for that. If it feels good to me, then it's good in general. Sure, it's fun to get positive feedback from others, but I find that people complimenting me feels awkward most of the time. That's not to say that I don't enjoy attention, since I tried to stream on twitch before, but I just think that trying to impress yourself with your work is more satisfying than impressing, say, another person in your field, or a superior. That's my take on it at least, and my primary motivator for doing art in general.

[s0]

So far though, I've found perusing mastery only intimidates, alienates, embitters or otherwise repels people

what do you mean?

I mean, so far as I've experienced, achieving a goal or skill level doesn't make people impressed or happy for me, it makes them resent me. Trying to do better at my craft is seen as showing-off or taunting.
None of my peers care about my work, they don't want me to do better or get better, if anything, the opposite is true. 

oh wow that sucks

my experience is the exact opposite so idk what so say

[Netsu]

So far though, I've found perusing mastery only intimidates, alienates, embitters or otherwise repels people

what do you mean?

I mean, so far as I've experienced, achieving a goal or skill level doesn't make people impressed or happy for me, it makes them resent me. Trying to do better at my craft is seen as showing-off or taunting.
None of my peers care about my work, they don't want me to do better or get better, if anything, the opposite is true. 

oh wow that sucks

my experience is the exact opposite so idk what so say

"Find other friends" is the correct response I believe.

No, seriously, I know it might not always be possible to meet new friendly people and for many it's just hard and not worth the effort. But your peers just sound like really bad people to be around, people like that would bring me down all the time.

[DJFloppyFish]

if someone doesn't appreciate your hardwork and personal development, that person is a shitty garbage person.

thanks for the interesting responses, people. I'm happy to be reading them.

[jamesprimate]

Yeah, I understand why I get feedback biased a certain way on the internet for KR, that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm more referring to my local AFK situation. I guess I just looked to the wrong people for approval. Right now I'm finding it hard to get motivated to do any work because I don't feel like I have anyone's approval to gain.
That's why I wonder if/how it might be possible to find a way I can make the things I want to exist even when the entire world feels indifferent.
Thanks anyway for the esteem boost

dang. its easy to overlook when talking about these things, but finding the right people to create an encouraging atmosphere is  so huge to keeping motivation if creative development is your interest. personally ive found that through online communities (and here in fact!), so i hope you can too. i couldnt imagine having to look to geographic randos for support with creative stuff, and im saying this as a person living in a big tech city with a huge dev scene. its just too unlikely to find others with my narrow interests that JUST HAPPEN to also be local

KR looks *incredible* by the way, and id assume your jerk associates are just massively jealous

[MrBones]

it's easier to realize you just suck at everything compared to everyone else and then try twice as hard


i have no confidence in anything i will ever create, not the fault of anyone else

[Superb Joe]

i am sooooooo good. just so good.

[J-Snake]

I have seen you do better, Joe.

[oahda]

people say nice things to me on twitter so im ok

[Boreal]

Yes, I do.  Not for anyone else, for myself.  Well, and in one (non-gamedev) case for my dad, but it's a mutual thing (bit of a long story).

Too many people in my other main game development community are obsessed with getting "good-enough" results with minimal effort.  They even try to ostracize people like me who are much more interested in the process than the outcome.  I think this is a very poor and unhealthy way to live.

[rj]

yeah