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[Peaumur]

Hello, friends)
I'm newbie in game-development and at this forum)
Recently I posted my first game and results don't satisfied me  that's why I cry at nigths. My mom already thinks I become emoboy!)
So, I will be happy if you look at my game and maybe give some advices or feedback about what is wrong)
I don't advertise it, that's why I post it in this thread.

Little description.
A sad short story about relationship. You have to pass a maze made of messages from
Girl who you love. Music changes every day.
Game is played directly in browser.

Some screens.



Wbu.ifistay.ru/play.html <- direct link to play.

[oahda]

Is it written in a way that explicitly states it's a girl (and for that matter, is the "you"  you're referring to here expected to be a boy)? Wouldn't it be better to write in a way that could fit any combination that might make a couple, if not? To make it more accessible.

[tankorsmash]

What would be cool is if you could choose whose genders is what at the outset, and have a slightly different story for each.

[Peaumur]

Is it written in a way that explicitly states it's a girl (and for that matter, is the "you"  you're referring to here expected to be a boy)? Wouldn't it be better to write in a way that could fit any combination that might make a couple, if not? To make it more accessible.

What would be cool is if you could choose whose genders is what at the outset, and have a slightly different story for each.

Hey, friends, thank you for feedbacks
Yep, really, I totally forgot about idea of choosing genders..)

[oahda]

What would be cool is if you could choose whose genders is what at the outset, and have a slightly different story for each.

That would be prone to hurtful stereotyping IMO. Better to write an ambiguous story.

[CarbonHack]

Hey,
 
I like the idea of focusing the game around such personal and intimate experience. Following the developement of relationship with successive text messages was the main source of pleasure for me. But the arcade-like navigation through the story was little out of tune imo. Textual aspect seems more like a visual novel, and it needs smoother navigation than the arcade-like mechanics. I'm interested in discovering the rest of the story, but the game forces me to repeat the same initial part again and again after hitting the wall. That was a problem for me. Possible solution could be a frequent savepoints - but I understand that would mess up the highscores mechanics. I guess it's the question of what's more important in the game - story you want to tell, or arcade-like gameplay and passing the corridor with the lowest number of clicks.

On a visual side, I liked the simple and slow-paced style. It fits the story quite well

[Overcurfew]

I loved the mechanic, I found it a good way to make dexterity mazes like Bubble Ghost more modern. I also like the way the desire to complete the story and the short term rewards of the gameplay reinforce each other to push the player forward. My only critique would be to leave the visibility fading out of the first parts to make it more likely the player will get involved in the story before the difficulty ramps up.

Needless to say I did not make it very far...... ;_;

Thanks for making a cool game, and good luck!

[Peaumur]

What would be cool is if you could choose whose genders is what at the outset, and have a slightly different story for each.

That would be prone to hurtful stereotyping IMO. Better to write an ambiguous story.

What hurtful stereotype?)

Hey,
 
I like the idea of focusing the game around such personal and intimate experience. Following the developement of relationship with successive text messages was the main source of pleasure for me. But the arcade-like navigation through the story was little out of tune imo. Textual aspect seems more like a visual novel, and it needs smoother navigation than the arcade-like mechanics. I'm interested in discovering the rest of the story, but the game forces me to repeat the same initial part again and again after hitting the wall. That was a problem for me. Possible solution could be a frequent savepoints - but I understand that would mess up the highscores mechanics. I guess it's the question of what's more important in the game - story you want to tell, or arcade-like gameplay and passing the corridor with the lowest number of clicks.

On a visual side, I liked the simple and slow-paced style. It fits the story quite well

Thank you for feedback:) do you think that arrow-controls better for this game?
To be honest, I think that it was wrong idea to include highscores in visual novel game..it is not the main source of joy for players. It would be better to create checkpoint system. I collected a lot of analytical data (via google analytics) and it says that game is to hard to walkthrough.

I loved the mechanic, I found it a good way to make dexterity mazes like Bubble Ghost more modern. I also like the way the desire to complete the story and the short term rewards of the gameplay reinforce each other to push the player forward. My only critique would be to leave the visibility fading out of the first parts to make it more likely the player will get involved in the story before the difficulty ramps up.

Needless to say I did not make it very far...... ;_;

Thanks for making a cool game, and good luck!

Thank you for your opinion! Think that idea of leave visibility at the beginning I will add in future update.

[oahda]

What would be cool is if you could choose whose genders is what at the outset, and have a slightly different story for each.

That would be prone to hurtful stereotyping IMO. Better to write an ambiguous story.

What hurtful stereotype?

Gender stereotypes, if the story is written differently depending on the gender of the player character and so on.

[CarbonHack]

Thank you for feedback:) do you think that arrow-controls better for this game?
To be honest, I think that it was wrong idea to include highscores in visual novel game..it is not the main source of joy for players. It would be better to create checkpoint system. I collected a lot of analytical data (via google analytics) and it says that game is to hard to walkthrough.

Lowering the difficulty curve would help to progress with the story - which for me is the most interesting part of the game. Implementing arrow keys controls is one of the options, as it will make gameplay much more simple. Adding savepoints is another solution. Basically, your game feels like the mix of two different things: visual novel and arcade game. They don't go that well together in my opinion. I totally agree that including highscores in visual novel-type of experience feels weird.

[Peaumur]

Thank you for feedback:) do you think that arrow-controls better for this game?
To be honest, I think that it was wrong idea to include highscores in visual novel game..it is not the main source of joy for players. It would be better to create checkpoint system. I collected a lot of analytical data (via google analytics) and it says that game is to hard to walkthrough.

Lowering the difficulty curve would help to progress with the story - which for me is the most interesting part of the game. Implementing arrow keys controls is one of the options, as it will make gameplay much more simple. Adding savepoints is another solution. Basically, your game feels like the mix of two different things: visual novel and arcade game. They don't go that well together in my opinion. I totally agree that including highscores in visual novel-type of experience feels weird.

I will make arrow-keys control in the nearest time and will try to give a second wind to the game:))
Thank you;))

[Peaumur]

Guys, I have noted Google Analytics in the previous messages, let me show you some details about it:))
http://www.indiedb.com/games/we-broke-up/news/interesting-analytics
For you as for developers the most interesting part begins since the phrase "Important for html5 developers". Hope this information will be useful for you.

[Peaumur]

Guys, month after launch and I have got a lot of suggestions from different forums.
Let me present you updated version of We Broke Up.
What's new?
-checkpoints were added
-highscores table was removed
-control system remade
-new system of lightning of the maze
-marks where you died were added
-little bugs fixed

Hope you will enjoy it

wbu.ifistay.ru

[landermint]

Overall, a fun and thoughtful experience. I have thought for a long time that there are too few games that portray the idea of a romantic relationship in a tasteful and abstract way.
Mechanically, I think there is too much guess work involved. If there were a way to puzzle-solve or in some way logically decipher the route one has to take, I think the game would be much stronger.
Keep at it, great idea conceptually

[Peaumur]

Overall, a fun and thoughtful experience. I have thought for a long time that there are too few games that portray the idea of a romantic relationship in a tasteful and abstract way.
Mechanically, I think there is too much guess work involved. If there were a way to puzzle-solve or in some way logically decipher the route one has to take, I think the game would be much stronger.
Keep at it, great idea conceptually

Thank you landermint for your opinion

[MazK1985]

I really like the concept. It tugs on the old heart strings and the story is very easy to relate to. Unfortunately, I couldn't get to the end because on both attempts it seemed I was crashing into a wall but I could've sworn that there was nothing there.

The first try it seemed I was dying in the same area for no apparent reason but on the second try, I was dying inside a starry region which didn't reveal the walls either. It was located exactly adjacent to a checkpoint region if that makes any difference (I assume that is what it was. It had white horizontal line particles).

[Peaumur]

MazK1985, sorry for such bugs, didn't find them during testing