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[ChevyRay]

You: I'm thinking of an object.
Stranger: ..................................... ........................................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
.................................................. ..................................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. .............................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. .............................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. .............................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ............................(_''~-': : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--never Gonna
.................................................. .................................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ -----give You Up!
.................................................. ............................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ......................__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.................................................. .............__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
.................................................. .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__
.................................................. /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-,
................................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
.............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
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........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;. .|:::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
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......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'',: |;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
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............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
You have just been rickrolled by veda from FOK.nl
Stranger: it has to be rick

It wasn't rick.

[Glaiel-Gamer]

Possibly best one ever:

Stranger: hi.
You: hi
Stranger: are you mean?
You: what are you eating?
You: i'm eating pesto tortelini
Stranger: nothing currently, though i was eating a cookie moments ago.
You: that makes me hot
You: *i turn on your stove*
Stranger: omg tortelini turns me on SO MUCH
You: *i open your fridge*
Stranger: hot dogs are the sexiest thing ever, right?
You: *i put a pot on the stove, boil water in, and drop in your hotdogs*
Stranger: YES YES
You: *i hand you my buns*
Stranger: AHHH
You: *i pull a hotdog out and put it on a bun*
You: YES! SQUIRT THAT KATCHUP ON IT!
Stranger: tastes sooo good
Stranger: i LOVE ketchup
You: ahhhh wash it down with some water
Stranger: mm that was amazing
You: thanks

[Melly]

 :D

[sereneworx]

You: Hey
Stranger: hey
You: wanna talk about particle physics?
Stranger: i wanna stab you
Stranger: no
You: Because I do.
Stranger: i want your blood
Stranger: all over me]
You: Can we discuss the physical properties of blood.
You: For instance: Its viscosity.
Stranger: no.
You: No?
Stranger: i want to cut your body into parts
You: I just want to talk about particle physics.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I had to try extra hard.

[Strong]

Stranger: TED?
You: GAH
You: FOILED AGAIN
You: CURSE YOUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: WHAT
Stranger: WHAT
Stranger: TED
Stranger: WHAT'S GOING ON TED
You: I
You: I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE
You: EVERYTHING'S BEEN MOVING SO FAST AND I JUST
You: I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HOLD ME
You: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
You: DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: YES I DO MY LOVE
You: THE WORLD WANTS ME TO HATE, BUT ALL I CAN DO IS LOVE
Stranger: I SHALL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN
Stranger: I'M SORRY
You: I... I FORGIVE YOU
Stranger: I LOVE YOU BABE
You: I LOVE YOU TOO
Stranger: I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE
You: LET'S NEVER BE APART AGAIN
Stranger: EVER
Stranger: NEVER
Stranger: <333333
You: YES
You: <3
Stranger: ted
Stranger: i'm pregnant.
You: am i the father?
You: AM I?
Stranger: obviously
You: oh, okay
You: then that's good i guess
Stranger: you're the only one i've ever been with.
Stranger: except that i'm dying ted
You: NO!
Stranger: i am
Stranger: i am dying
Stranger: and i only wanted to tell you
Stranger: that i love you
Stranger: and our unborn child
Stranger: even if it'll never see the light of day
You: i love you, too
You: i love you more than i've ever loved anyone in my life
You: i love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone in their life
Stranger: me too, my dearest
Stranger: me too
Stranger: the darkness is taking over me
Stranger: no
Stranger: the light
You: NO!
Stranger: MUST NOT GO INTO THE LIGHT
Stranger: NOOOOOO
Stranger: I LOVE YOU
Stranger: I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i need to find this person

[Hideous]

Stranger: moose
You: fuck you man
Stranger: mooser
You: moose never did anything to you
Stranger: mooseeee
Stranger: moose esoom
You: don't be fucking racist man
Stranger: mooosem

[Hideous]

You: You're in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front
door.
There is a small mailbox here.
Stranger: THE GAME
Stranger: >destroy mailbox
You: You shatter the mailbox to pieces, revealing some junk mail.
Stranger: >turn junkmail into giant robot
You: There's only enough junkmail to make a tiny, toothpick sized robot.
You: Because your construction skills suck, so you waste most of the paper making it.
Stranger: shit
Stranger: >eat junk mail
You: You eat the robot, who is now wreaking havoc on your gastro-intestinal system.
You: You fart.
Stranger: ;;
Stranger: >enter house
You: The house is boarded, you can't enter.
Stranger: >enter through chimney
You: They boarded that too.
Stranger: >offer the residents delicious cake
You: The residents are a lie.
Stranger: >dig a hole underground to get in through the floor
You: With what do you wish to dig?
You: You fart, and poop out a brown paper robot.
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: >use paper robot to destroy door
You: It's too slow to do any damage; it's covered in some sticky brown mess.
Stranger: >eat the excrement and use robot to destroy door
You: You accidentally swallowed the robot as well, but the poo made you puke it up again. You now have a poop-coloured, puke-covered paper robot.
Stranger: >dry it our in the sun and use magnifying glass to light it on fire, burning down the entire house
Stranger: out*
You: You don't have a magnifying glass. Maybe try looking for an alternate entrance?
Stranger: *jump into window*
You: It's boarded, too.
Stranger: >walk around and check for back door
You: You are behind the white house. In one corner of the house there is a
small window which is slightly ajar.
Stranger: >open the window and go inside house
You: Kitchen
You are in the kitchen of the white house. A table seems to have been
used recently for the preparation of food. A passage leads to the west,
and a dark staircase can be seen leading upward. To the east is a small
window which is open. On the table is an elongated brown sack, smelling of hot peppers.
A bottle is sitting on the table.
The glass bottle contains:
A quantity of water
Stranger: >break glass from the window, go outside, and light the robot on fire, burning down the entire house
You: Oh fuck, it's cloudy outside.
You: :D
Stranger: D:
Stranger: >take water and sack
You: Taken.
Stranger: >drink water
You: The water contained tiny teleportational nanobots that teleported you to...
You: Twin Tower #1
You're standing on top of a large tower. A large airplane is coming your way.
Stranger: >get laid before i die
You: You lay down on the roof. It feels like something is missing.
Stranger: oh i hate you so much.
You: I don't know the word 'oh'.
Stranger: *hitch a ride on the plane just as it hits the building*
You: The plane says that the building it it's last stop, so there's no point in you getting on.
Stranger: >do an hero and jump off the building
You: You first fuck a guy who killed himself on the roof (you necrophiliac you) and then you jump. You fall, fall and fall, but you land safely on your bag of Red Hot Chili Peppers that you picked up in the white house!
Stranger: >rob the nearest bagel shop
You: Michael Moore has already done that for you.
Stranger: >rob the second-to-nearest bagel shop
You: That was the only bagel shop in Manhattan, I'm afraid.
Stranger: >call Chris Hansen for no reason whatsoever
You: He says "Are you a predator?"
Stranger: >realize that i am a fish and everything i just remembered was a hallucination
You: You're not a fish, you're a whale, falling through the upper layers of the atmosphere of Magrathea.
Stranger: >notice the blatant Hitchhikerer's Guide to the Galaxy refference
You: Noted.
Stranger: >wonder if the ground will be friends with me
You: You're not sure what the "ground" is, but you do hope it's friendly.
Stranger: >call Chris Hansen using my whale mating call and tell him that the ground is a predator
You: The ground is promptly arrested, laughed at, and raped in prison.
Stranger: >laugh
You: Your whale laugh isn't audible - the ground took the atmosphere with it to prison.
You: You're running out of oxygen.
Stranger: >find a female space whale and slowly evolve to not need oxygen over the time period of 20 minutes
You: You're a couch.
Stranger: >i know how you feel
You: You're in a living room somewhere in Norway.
Stranger: Awesome, I've always wanted to live in Norway
You: You're an inanimate object, so you don't actually _live_ in Norway.
Stranger: damn
You: Game Over, you're dead. :D

epicest conversation EVER

[Inanimate]

You: Hello!
Stranger: hey!
You: I am here from the Church of Light.
Stranger: .......
You: I am a Missionary, sent to tell the teachings of our Church!
Stranger: um well im not christian
You: Well, we aren't either.
You: Do you wish to hear of our teachings?
Stranger: okayyyy
Stranger: haha sure go ahead
You: Well, it all started with The Creationing
You: As our Almighty used his wonderful hands to craft our earth, he created the materials of life...
Stranger: that IS christian
You: What?
You: No, it isn't.
Stranger: yeah its a GOD
You: Huh?
Stranger: u said almighty
You: Monotheism is seperate from Christianity.
You: Almighty is just a word saying 'One who has All Might'
You: not 'God of Christianity'
Stranger: well im buddhist
You: Hm.
You: Well, that's interesting.
Stranger: yes it is
You: Then I should probably go, correct?
Stranger: hahahahahaha
You: Your beliefs will probably not be swayed.
Stranger: no they will not
You: Faith itself is a wonderful thing.
Stranger: definitely not
You: Nice to have met you.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: My mom told me not to talk to strangers.
You: So I am not going to.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: well
Stranger: fuck you

Stranger: hey
You: GETCHA HOT DOGS
You: GETCHA HOT DOGS HEEEERE
Stranger: i want one
You: GETCHA HOT DOGS INABUN
You: ONLY ONE DOLLAH
Stranger: can i have one of yours?
You: ONE DOLLAH HOT DOGSA HEEEEERE
You: GETCHA SAUSAGEINABUN
You: GETCHA HOT DOGS
Stranger: i dont have a dollar
You: GETCHA HOT DOOOOOGS HEEEEEEERE
You: GETCHA HOT DOGS
You: WE HAVE CONDIMENENTS
You: ALL KINDSA CONDIMENENTS
You: GETCHA HOT DOGSA HERE

You: Hey!
Stranger: hi
You: Have I got a deal for YOU!
Stranger: OH MAN!
You: Do you have pesky messes that are hard to CLEAN?
Stranger: IS THIS BILLY MAYS!!!!
You: Do your regular Cleaning Products just NOT LIVE UP TO THE HYPE?
You: Well, this is the product for you!
Stranger: YYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYY I LOVE YOU
You: Cleanin' Shine is a revolutionary new cleanign agent!
Stranger: does it get cum stains out?
You: With the power of CLENAXIN, it can clean any surface!
You: Do you have pesky rust?
Stranger: ok shut the fuck up
You: Well, juse use Cleanin' Shine!
You: And BAM!
You: The rust is gone!
You: Do you have limescale?
You: Just use Cleanin' Shine!
You: The Cleaning Product for ALL of your needs!

[Inanimate]

Aw man, Hideous beat me to the Text Adventure. I kept trying it, but the people DIDN'T get it!

[Captain_404]

Stranger: hello
You: mother?
Stranger: of where?
You: I did as you said mother
You: I did as you said and they're all gone
You: all of them
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Apparently acting like a crazy person isn't actually the surest way to be sociable and make lasting friendships on the internet. Who knew?

[Shade Jackrabbit]

You: Predict!
Stranger: knock knock
You: Gotcha.
You: Who's there?
Stranger: GO FUCK YOURSELK
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

D=

[Ivan]

You: hey
Stranger: southern girl?
You: yes
Stranger: really?
You: born 'n raised
Stranger: from were?
You: Alabama
Stranger: me too
You: im not really from alabama
You: nor am i a girl
Stranger: cool
Stranger: ur a bear
You: D:

[Frog]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hellou darling
You: hi
Stranger: U seem like nice buddy
Stranger: <3
You: my name is shiggeh
Stranger: Shiggeh :E
You: =D
Stranger: Are u sure :I
You: no
Stranger: Why not
You: I'm quite confused actually
You: where am i
Stranger: Are u :0
Stranger: Thats not good at all
Stranger: U need to get help
You: and why is there a dead dog in the corner
You: wait I'll check the door
Stranger: did u have sex with it?
Stranger: okay :I
You: the door's locked
Stranger: :D
Stranger: U are in basement
You: this is like one of those crazy room escape games
Stranger: and u are not getting out
You: except less colourful
Stranger: I know how u can escape
You: wait I can hear footsteps
Stranger: :0
You: gone now
You: all good
Stranger: Play dead
Stranger: good shh..
Stranger: i was like now u are done for
Stranger: do u get any food there
You: It seems kind of odd they'd give me internets
Stranger: Maybe they want to addict u
You: and there's sushi in the corner
You: like
You: lots of sushi
Stranger: somekind of sick experiment
Stranger: I like sushi
You: I think this is my basement
You: wait
You: this is australia
Stranger: How many years have u been there
Stranger: :0
You: who the fuck here has a basement
You: this makes no sense
Stranger: U are doomed m8
Stranger: Maybe u should wake up
Stranger: I got to go, coz u are so mean to me
You: maybe
You: maybe you should wake up

[Hideous]

Aw man, Hideous beat me to the Text Adventure. I kept trying it, but the people DIDN'T get it!

I had already copied the beginning of Zork into my clipboard, and I kept trying conversations with it to see if people would get the reference.

[JLJac]

Stranger: Hi
You: There are basically three forms of caviar
You: (3)
Stranger: :vaaisniin
You: You may ask about caviar if you want
Stranger: who are u
You: We're basically talking about nort russioan vissnd caviar
Stranger: you are very vierd