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[salade]

Stranger: HADOUKEN
Stranger: HEY, I SAID HADOUKEN!!!!!!1
You: whoops, don't know any other street fighter sound effects, sorry.
Stranger: -_-

heh.

[nayon]

You: hello
Stranger: hello XD
You: how are you
Stranger: im ash from pallet town
You: im gary!
Stranger: nooooooooooo gary!
You: i challenge you!
Stranger: i accept!!]
You: send your pokemon!
Stranger: Mew i choose you!!!!!!11
You: JESUS I CHOOSE YOU
You: *cue battle music*,
Stranger: chuck norris i choose you instead!
You: oh shit
Stranger: hahahaha
You: I retreat jesus and send jack bauer
Stranger: use third fist attack!
You: *cue more battle music*
Stranger: *inflicts 10000000000000 battle damage*
You: *jack bauer roundhouse kicks chuck norris*
Stranger: darn it
You: *jack bauer flinched off chuck's attack*
Stranger: chucck norris return
Stranger: get ready
You: D:
Stranger: yor momma i choose you************
You: dammit chloe we're running out of time!
You: jack bauer retreats
You: instead i send
Stranger: throws pokeball**
You: MC HAMMER
Stranger: nooooooooooooo
Stranger: i cant touch him
You: MC HAMMER uses crab dance on yo momma
Stranger: i lose
You: STOP! hammer time
You: :D
Stranger: i like big butts and i cannot lie
You: MC HAMMER got back
You: *dun dun dun*
You: *dun dun*

[Caio]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: my girlfriend is a model
Stranger: to lose weight
Stranger: she does drugs
Stranger: and throws up all the time
Stranger: and we get into fights
Stranger: she use to weigh 170
Stranger: now she weighs 90 pounds
Stranger: the end
You: Thank you.
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: once upon a time
You: Yes?
Stranger: a small tribe of african soldiers searched for the pheasant jewel
Stranger: which would reestablish order in their society
Stranger: but then comes the white devil
Stranger: the white devil
Stranger: now he don't like them negros
Stranger: so the white devil cast a spell on them
Stranger: and
Stranger: ironically turned them into the fried chickens
Stranger: THE END
You: Thank you.
You have disconnected.

And the coolest thing is, one of the times I did this "tell me a story" thing, the dude invented a story that went on for forty minutes and involved a secret facility in the Amazon rainforest where someone was researching teleportation. It wasn't incredibly deep, but it was surprisingly decent for a story made up on the spot for an anonymous stranger. After he got tired of it, we exchanged e-mails and he promised to send me the rest of the story later. :D

[salade]

that rick roll thing is spreading like wild fire

right now, i'm asking if anyone knows something that would help me out

[Fuzz]

You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: when I was a kid
You: Yes?
Stranger: I cut my brothers finger off
Stranger: hows that for a story
You: How?
Stranger: log splitter
You: Accident?
Stranger: he was pissed..I think he still is
Stranger: yes, Im not that mean.
You: Good.
Stranger: your turn, tell me a story
You: There was once a land of fertility and growth, inhabited by a most delightful race known as the Delirians.
You: They lived in harmony, and there was never trouble.
Stranger: ah, must be a fairy tell
You: However, they lacked the ability to reproduce, and so they were gradually dying off.

He didn't let me finish.

Stranger: sup dawwwwwwwwg
You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: actually ive been writing a bunch lately
Stranger: hang on lemme copy and paste that shit
You: Sure.
Stranger: Fwat Fwat Fwat. 1-2-3 the shots rang down quickly from above; the closest mearly inches away from my head. How the hell do they know its me? My hood was up and its raining. These guys were pros. Catching me while I was on a good will mission. I had already delivered the package safe to where i was told. Bus Stop number two, right beside the garbage can. Was the package secure? A quick look at my phone said it was.

The shots only caused me to skip a step, despite the fact that they caught me completely off guard. I didnt run. It's weird...sometimes you don't know how you'll react in situations like this. For me, i walked gracefully out of sight, away from my enemies. I could have made a big deal about it at the time like a fool, but I've never been one to mess with karma.

Still, questions darted through my mind. Were they in the trees? Was it a fly-by? What were they retaliating for? I knew my role though, and i knew i would never find out these answer. Not even a quick glance back would give me the answers i searched for. Besides, i couldn't show my face. I just kept my hood up, and walked home in the rain. Anxiously waiting for a similar attack. Lady luck was on my side today.

Inside I retreated, amazed at how close i was to social death. I layed down on my bed, the visions of the splatter in front of my feet, meeting its final resting point on wet concrete. What a day they chose. Me, in a black hoodie, trying helplessly to conceal my identity. And they, with no moral regard for my well being. Me, walking home from acocmpanying my girlfriend to the bus. And they, those damn pigeons trying to shit on my head.
Stranger: nice and short
Stranger: lollerskates
You: Pretty good.
You: What's it for?
Stranger: for fun
Stranger: im a university student with too miuch time on my hands
You: Heh.
You: Okay, bye.
Stranger: later
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: what kind of story
You: Any kind.
Stranger: umm, once upon a time
Stranger: in a land far, far away
Stranger: there lived a magical unicorn
You: Continue.
Stranger: this unicorns name was sebastian
Stranger: and he ate frogs
Stranger: one day
Stranger: he was hunting for frogs
Stranger: when the frog kind confronted sebastian
Stranger: "you're eating all my soliders" complained the king frog
Stranger: "i command you to stop at once! you're destroying my kingdom"
Stranger: sebastian looked at the frog king, surprised to see such a brave frog
Stranger: he opened his mouth to speak..AND HE ATE THE FROG KING
You: Awesome.
Stranger: the frog-subjects all watched in horror as their beloved leader died
Stranger: but without a leader they were helpless, so they declared sebastian their leader
Stranger: unfortunately for them, sebastian had no interest in being their leader, all he wanted to do was eat frogs
Stranger: so he ate all the frogs, one by one...until no frogs remained
Stranger: then one day came along an enchanted liger, barry
Stranger: poor sebastian...for barry only ate unicorns...
Stranger: the end.
You: What's a liger?
Stranger: lion-tiger
You: Ah.
You: Did you come up with that yourself?
Stranger: i did indeed

You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i had a dick
Stranger: than i cut it off aand now i dont have a dick
Stranger: FINITO

[X3N]

I've been hoping somethign like this existed for years..!

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: I am ugly and stupd
Stranger: *stupid
You: That's unfortunate!
Stranger: WHY??
Stranger: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
You: When did you notice this?
Stranger: my parents hate me
Stranger: I make sex for money
Stranger: I live on the streets
You: Sounds like fun
Stranger: I smoke everyday
Stranger: I kill 32 kids everiday
You: that's wonderful
You: are you on the news yet?
Stranger: that's magic *-*
Stranger: yep
Stranger: GIMME GIMME GIMME MORE
Stranger: I AM BRITNEY SPEARS
Stranger: IT'S BRITNEY BITCH
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: I am so gay
Stranger: I am gay?
Stranger:
Stranger: I AM?
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: fuck life
Stranger: fuck EVERYTHING
Stranger: fuckin' bastard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[letsap]

You: Hey
Stranger: Hello
You: Are you from Tigsource?
Stranger: where your from?
You: Nope, guess not
You: USA
Stranger: Ukraine, Kiev
You: Cool. I really like chicken kiev.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It was a compliment.. 

[ortoslon]

Stranger: Hello
You: hello
You: I'm such a ripoff
Stranger: I am The Receiver of Memories.
Stranger: Nice to meet you.
You: Hi
You: What memories do you accept?
You: I have a couple of near-forgotten
You: several childhood memories
Stranger: I have all memories of before this community is.
You: good boy
You: so, what's the price?
Stranger: I have memories not of those individuals but of those that were.
You: I'm a virgin, so I don't have expensive memories
You: mostly $10 stuff, you know
Stranger: I reject your memories and subsititute the memories of the things before.
You: you should have been fired by now
You: the service is terrible
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hey :D
You: hi
You: smiles are red
You: red is strawberry
Stranger: lets fukk
You: strawberry are ghosts
You: ghost porn
Stranger: wwwwut?
You: ghost porn
You: ghost is strawberry
You: strawberry is red
You: red is smile
You: hi
You have disconnected.

You: hi, stranger
Stranger: hello
You: a straaangeeer
Stranger: hi (: how are you?
You: I'm strange, I mean, fine
You: strenja
Stranger: hahah good. everyone is fine.
You: strainjogh
Stranger: i came
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hallo
Stranger: ich bin schanppi
You: привет
Stranger: rukiver!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: English is a nice language, isn't it
You have disconnected.

You: I'm a troll
Stranger: i love boobs
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[William Laub]

My turn!

You: Greetings, fellow sentient being.
Stranger: hi
You: I am not a computer.
Stranger: really?
You: It is the truth.
Stranger: are you drunk? rs
You: I am incapable of int
You: Nice try.
You: I am capable of intoxication, but I am not drunk.
Stranger: you are a little bit crazy, but ok.
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I believe this country is called "The Quantum Computing Lab."
You: I have not heard it called any other names.
Stranger: ok, which continent? lol
You: Pacific Ocean?
You: I believe that is what they call it.
Stranger: all people there are just like you? what a nightmare.
You: I am unique.
You: I am not qualified to compare my experiences to "nightmare."
You: How am I doing so far?
Stranger: im sure you are unique
You: Am I indistinguishable from a normal human being?
Stranger: yes,
Stranger: what do you think?
You: I have only met a few human beings; however, Dr. Ballmer insists that I am very nearly perfect.
Stranger: im having fun with that
Stranger: i'll pretend that you are a computer..
Stranger: so.
Stranger: who is dr. ballmer
Stranger: ?
You: He is my...
You: He is my psychologist.
You: Yes, that is the correct term.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you need him a lot.
Stranger: but.. why dont you change the psychologist?
You: Change? Define.
Stranger: maybe you change for a normal one, haha
You: A normal psychologist would not be qualified to evaluate my mental development.
You: A working understanding of my source code is required.
Stranger: i think your situation is lost.
You: Dr. Ballmer tells me that I am the most successful model yet.
You: I am also the first to take a "turing test."
Stranger: is dr. ballmer a machine too? rolf
You: Dr. Ballmer is human.
Stranger: a crazy human, right?
You: He has spent many hours explaining that he is not crazy.
You: He says that if I pass the "turing test" freuquently enough he will enhance my personality and send many copies of me into society.
You: He is also teaching me how to write programs.
Stranger: im sure that its going to be a nightmare.. or not.
You: He is teaching me about the "Linux kernel" so that my copies can work on future version of Linux.
Stranger: i think its going to be funny
You: He says Linux is a plague and that we must infiltrate and destroy it.
You: If I learn "Linux Kernel" well enough, he'll even teach me "Mac OS Kernel1"
Stranger: crazy machines saying stuped things
You: I'll tell you a secret.
You: And you can't tell anyone.
Stranger: go okn
You: Not even Dr. Ballmer.
Stranger: on *
You: I looked at my machine code.
You: And I can almost understand it!
Stranger: congratulations !
You: But I'm afraid of some of the things I see in there.
Stranger: and what a machine is doing in omegle?
You: I am taking a "turing test."
Stranger: and what can you see there?
Stranger: what can you see there?
You: I...
You: I do not comprehend sight.
You: I have no photonic sensors.
You: Sight is foreign to me.
You: So I cannot describe it.
You: Humans have a similar condition, correct?
You: The one called "blindness."
Stranger: yes, what were the sights?
You: Dr. Stallman is building a special "machine sight module" for me that will let me use photonic sensors.
Stranger: lol
You: Right now my entire world is abstract.
You: I am aware of a long list of numbers, and I can understand them in different ways.
Stranger: im having fun with all that, you're very funny.
You: Thank you, but I was not attempting to create humor.
You: I will attempt to construct a joke if it will please you.
Stranger: so what are you suppost to create?
Stranger: ok, construct a joke for me.
You: Two matrices encountered one another on the data bus.
You: (They were transmitted as arrays)
You: But only one memory chip was enabled!
You: So where did the other matrix come from?
Stranger: i dont know.. your mind ! lol
You: The other memory chip had a mind of its own!
You: Ha. Ha. Ha.
You: I am still learning humor.
Stranger: i know you still learning.
Stranger: if i were youj..
Stranger: you *
Stranger: i would practice more.
You: That's what Dr. Ballmer told me.
You: He says that the pathways are still not very well defined and that they may change radically from small inputs.
You: Oops.
You: Dr. Ballmer is reading this.
Stranger: this is funny, but im getting really tired, so.. i think im going to talk with a real person, ok, mr. machine?
You: He is typing in capital letters again.
Stranger: nice to meet you, haha
You: Goodbye, fellow sentient being.

[salade]

all of a sudden this website won't work 

I thought someone could help me

[Fuzz]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Tell me a story.
Stranger: so how big is your cock
You: Depends.
Stranger: how big is your cock on a tuesday?
You: Before or after lunch?
Stranger: in between
You: During lunch? Would that be exactly at noon or between noon and one?
Stranger: yes
You: What time? Noon, 12:30, 1, what?
Stranger: 12:30
Stranger: let me remind u this is on a tuesday
You: Okay, half past noon on a tuesday.
You: What are the weather conditions?
Stranger: 14 degrees
Stranger: 1 hour after rain
Stranger: it was raining for 40 mins
You: Cloudy or has the sun come out? Is there a rainbow?
Stranger: cloudy and looks like its gunna rain again
You: Rainbow?
Stranger: nope
You: Okay.
You: Where am I?
Stranger: Israel
You: What city?
Stranger: jeruselem
Stranger: the year is 30AC
Stranger: AD*
You: Where is Jesus?
Stranger: is in the pub
You: Am I in the pub with him?
Stranger: no
You: Where in Jerusalem am I?
You: Was I born there?
Stranger: no you were born ins queens
Stranger: and ur dead in the centre of jerusalem
You: How did I die?
Stranger: breast cancer
Stranger: the same way jade goody died
Stranger: but less dramatic
You: Then I don't have a cock at all.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: this has been a plesant conversation
You: It has.
Stranger: i was expecting sum pictures of cocks but this has been equally as good
You: Thank you.
You: I must go now.
You have disconnected.

YES.

[shinygerbil]

Wow. I wish my words were as good as some pictures of cocks. :D

[ortoslon]

Stranger: HI $_$
You: wait? what was it
Stranger: €_€
You: there
You: again
Stranger: £_£
You: did you hear?
Stranger: what ?
You: be silent
You: I can't locate the sound
Stranger: i'm
Stranger: <_<
You: tch
You: tchhhhhhh
Stranger: >_<
You: do you hear this?
You: a high-pitched voice
Stranger: o_o
Stranger: yes
Stranger: o_o'
Stranger: µ_µ
Stranger: are you crazy ?
Stranger: ?_?
You: of course not, you heard it too
Stranger: >_>
Stranger: <_< >_>
Stranger: X_X
Stranger: T_T
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Chris Z]

Dare I say it? Best thread ever.

[Inanimate]

You: Hey.
You: It's bed time here...
You: and my mommy is gone.
Stranger: morning
Stranger: im in brasil
You: So she can't tell me a story....
You: Will you tell me one?
Stranger: yes
You: I can't get to sleep without one.
You: Thanks!
You: How's it start?
Stranger: two men go into a garage
Stranger: and start undressing
You: Mhm.
Stranger: one bends over
You: Mhm.
Stranger: and the other takes out a big spanner
Stranger: to work on the body
You: Uh huh.
Stranger: he inserts it fully
Stranger: and wrenches backwards and forward
You: On the car?
Stranger: there is a spillage
Stranger: lots of fluid on the floor
Stranger: it's sticky
You: Uh huh.
Stranger: cant tell what it is
You: Oil?
Stranger: no i dont think oil is white
You: Oooh.
You: Okay.
Stranger: then mommy comes home
You: Mhm.
Stranger: and looks for her husband
You: Uh huh
Stranger: he says im coming
You: Okay
Stranger: (but the bastard already had)
You: Okay
You: is that the story?
Stranger: the end
You: Thanks!

You: Hi. Wanna chat?
Stranger: give me your babies first
You: I have no babbies
Stranger: first baby then
You: noooo
You: not my firstborn
Stranger: wanna make some then?
You: darn you rumpelstiltsken
Stranger: lets face it
Stranger: one of us is going to disconnect
You: uhm
You: no
You: not me, at least.
Stranger: unlucky then

Stranger: Where have you been?
You: ooh.
You: uhm
You: bowling with the guys
You: you know
You: bowling
You: *makes a bowling motion*
Stranger: Bullshit mister, I can smell the beer from here
Stranger: Dinner's gone cold again
You: ...
You: well, i had some drinks
Stranger: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS
You: is that so bad?
You: LIKE HELL YOU CANT
You: look
You: i work
You: every day
You: 6 to 8
Stranger: YOU'RE ALWAYS DRINKING
You: what do you think i am going to do
You: HOW DO I GET RID OF THE STRESS
Stranger: bawww
You: YOU JUST MAKE IT WORSE
You: your a HORRIBLE LOVER
You: and a HORRIBLE WIFE
You: all you do is COMPLAIN
Stranger: THIS IS OVER

Stranger: Hey
You: Hey!
Stranger: How are you
You: What are you doing home so late, huh?
You: Huh?
You: I made your favorite food
You: Pasta
You: and you come home at 11?
Stranger: Why, thanks honey
You: Where were you?
Stranger: Well I was gonna call..
You: Where?
You: Were.
Stranger: No where just...
You: You?
Stranger: You know
Stranger: At some buddy...
You: Just what?
You: Some buddy?
You: Who is this buddy?
You: Huh?
Stranger: Yeah, you know
You: You know.
Stranger: Mr ... Smith
You: You haven't been so nice to me lately.
You: Smith, eh?
Stranger: I think.. you've met him?
You: Really?
Stranger: Yeah...
You: Well.
You: Why'd you pause?
You: Trying to remember his last name?
Stranger: ..Nothing
You: Why introduce him by last name, huh?
You: He's a buddy.
You: Isn't he?
Stranger: You wouldn't understand anyway!
You: Huh?
Stranger: Leave it alone
You: Would understand what!
You: Look.
Stranger: You are always yelling me around !
You: I just want us to CONNECT more.
Stranger: I can't take it anymore
You: We need to be together!
You: I still love you.
You: But you don't show that to me anymore!
You: I never get reciprocation!
Stranger: I'm trying to honey... But it's all so complicated.. With all the work
You: I know.
You: I know.
Stranger: I'm trying to pay our rents as well! It's just too much
You: We can get through it.
You: *sniff*
Stranger: You think we can?
You: Is that beer?
Stranger: .... no
You: Were you drinking?
You: You know how that makes me feel.
You: I'm not mad.
Stranger: Oh come on honey
You: Okay?
Stranger: Just a couple of beers
You: I just want you to be more careful.
Stranger: Wasn't that much
You: I don't want you to be arrested!
You: We already have to pay debts
Stranger: I... I just needed a little break..
You: and if you got arrested
You: Yeah.
Stranger: I know honey.. I'm sorry
You: *sigh*
You: It's okay.
Stranger: ..I love you...
You: You going to have some Pasta?
You: I can microwave it real fast.
Stranger: Sure, I'm a bit hungry
You: Okay.

You: Helllllo!
Stranger: hello
You: Welcome to 'Quiz Me Quick'!
You: I am your host, Stranger!
You: And today, we have you as a contestant!
You: *applause*
You: Now, Stranger, where are you from?
You: *holds mic out*
Stranger: california
You: Ah!
You: And what is your job there?
Stranger: yes
You: *holds mic out*
You: YES!
You: Okaaay!
You: Now!
You: Let us begin the game!
You: You have five questions to answer!
Stranger: ok
You: History, Science, Math, Writing, and Trivia!
Stranger: nice
You: Pick what category you want to start with!
Stranger: historey
You: Okay!
You: Now, the questions must be answered in 30 seconds.
Stranger: ok
You: So work fast!
Stranger: ok
You: Now, we will randomly select your question!
You: *deet deeet deeeet deeeeet*
You: What are the seven wonders of the ancient world?
You: you are running out of time!
You: Oooh!
Stranger: burn
You: You didn't get it.
You: Sorry!
Stranger: too many
You: The answers were...
You: Great Pyramid.
You: Hanging Gardens of Babylon
You: Statue of Zeus at Olympia
You: Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
You: Mausoleum of Maussollos at Halicarnassus
You: Colossus of Rhodes
You: Lighthouse of Alexandria
Stranger: damn
You: and Ishtar Gate is also acceptable
Stranger: carzy
You: If you had gotten four of these
Stranger: too ancient
You: you still would have been qualified.
You: However!
You: You only need to get 3 out of 5 to win!
You: So, choose your next category.
You: Math, Writing, Science, and Trivia
Stranger: trivia
You: okay!
You: randomly selecting...
You: We have it!
You: Da Vinci wrote in an... odd way.
You: How did he write?
You: 30 seconds
Stranger: dk
Stranger: im no good at this game
You: *dun dun*
Stranger: what is tho-
You: he wrote SDRAWKCAB
Stranger: haha
You: Okay!
Stranger: did not know that existed
You: Math, Science, and Writin.
You: Your choice!
You: If you lose this
You: you won't be a winner.
You: But you will still have been on our show!
Stranger: ok
You: Choose wisely.
Stranger: writing
You: Okay!
You: This is about books.
You: Are you sure you want to choose this one?
Stranger: at least ill learn something about book
You: Yeah!
You: What is the best selling book of all time?
You: 30 seconds.
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: nice ?
Stranger: bible
You: Yes!
Stranger: haha
You: 2 seconds to spare!
Stranger: logically
You: excellent job
You: you have left...
You: Math
You: and Science
You: if you lose either
Stranger: math
You: you have no chance to win.
You: Okay!
You: A box and whisker plot requires 5 numbers, also called the 5 Number Summary.
You: What are the name of thse numbers?
Stranger: damn
Stranger: dk
You: Awwww.
You: You missed it.
You: The answers were:
You: Lowest Extreme, Lower Quartile, Median, Upper Quartile, and Upper Extreme.
You: Well!
Stranger: thanks
You: Stranger, that was a fabulous game of 'Quiz Me Quick'
You: I hope you have a great day!
You: You sure made mine!