This should be a big one.
That's what she said
I'm not going to regret that, am I?
Like, I didn't die, did I?
SCENES OF THE NEXT CHAPTERS!
The tribulations of life in a dwarven fortress...
Fuck, I should write a book.
Mmm... booze. We're making lots of it now, and the population is satisfied.
I still haven't appointed anything like a fortress guard and such... nah. I know how those other forts are, where a man can be bashed on the head and thrust into jail because he didn't get the fucking toy anvils some fucker noble wanted done because he already had a ton of more important work to do. Fuck the broken legal system. I'll merely see that my dwarves are safe and satisfied.
Mining operations on schedule. Maybe I'll find something good down there.
Damn possessions. What the hell is rough color anyway? Dye? Does the asshole want dye?
It ended up being just a type of rough gem. Meh. He made a big gem out of it. It's shiny.
My farmers tell me that we can't plant Plump Helmet for now. I got no idea why. Not that I care, we're still swimming on the stuff.
Got YagerX to make endless meals. He seems to be having fun with it, an the dwarves love the prepared food.
Ugh, elves again. I'll just ask Cheater to maybe go see them, and rob all their stuff. If he can be bothered.
He didn't get there in time and they left. Meh. Gotta setup my death trap...
A Dungeon Master? What the crap's a Dungeon Master?
Consulted with Renton, he tells me a Dungeon Master is a blacksmith of sorts that can tame exotic animals, like hydras.
While that's certainly cool... what the hell's up with him? What in Armok's name is he wearing, or better yet, NOT wearing? He's practically naked, and his eyes gleam with insanity.
Fuck it, I ain't obeying the whims of a pompous freak.
Assigned him his 'room'. Time to test it.
The hell's up with these migrants? It's like half of them have at least 2 pets or something. As if these animals weren't crowding the fort before...
Among them is genericuser, a miner. Should prove useful.
Channel the magma, aaand...
Magma is slow, gives them time to see what's gonna happen. He starts bashing on the door, but it's locked, and the corridor sealed while he was doing his stuff. He's screaming now. His screams fill the fortress for a few moments, but they're soon drowned and replaced.
By my laughs.
Sprucing up the outside still. Soon, it'll be a sight to behold. Should start building roads to help caravans reach us.
Humans arrive, lots of trading to be had. Yes.
What? Why? Is it the constant attack by monkeys? The stolen goods we've sold? (we did spruce them up a bit before so. They were elven, who gives a shit?)
Maybe it's just me, but I'm getting the feeling my dwarves get pretty bored when they're not working...
Maybe I should build a statue garden of sorts. Let them have some parties.
Wait, that will probably be even... ah, fuck it.
Channeling, ramping, walling, statues out front for the caravans to see...
Maybe I should be more creative? Mmm... ideas.
Whoa. That's the most I've seen yet. Awesome, this should be good.
Holy shit monkeys! TO ARMS!!
Monkey roast for everyone!
I'll order my elite marksdwarves to do some good wresting training. last thing I want is them running out of bolts and trying to wimply bash a troll's head and be crushed.
That wouldn't be nice.
Also, what's with half of my military carrying babies onto battle? Those mothers are insane, I tell you. I'm not about to relieve them of their duties though.
Getting pretty crowded around here. This is good. Means we've been pleasing the merchants.
Now why would the migrants not want to come...