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[Loren Schmidt]

I came across this list yesterday. I instantly said "Whoah, I'm guilty of so many of these..." It really made me want to improve how I interact with people. I thought I'd post it here in case others might find it appealing in the same way.

Characteristics of Bad Communication

• Self Blame - Instead of dealing with the problem, I blame everything on myself.
• Hopelessness - I give up (often in a showy way) and insist that there is no point in trying.
• Denial - I insist I do not feel angry, hurt, or sad when I really do.
• Passive Aggression - I am actually angry, but do not necessarily know it. I desperately make promises I cannot deliver on. I often make excuses for my behavior, or feel helpless. I procrastinate, am resentful, and am sullen. (What I really need to do is find the problem and deal with it directly.)
• Sarcasm + Cynicism - I am way too talented / smart for any of you, so I don't take any of you seriously. Actually you're lucky I'm even talking to you.
• Truth - I am convinced that I am right and everyone else is wrong. Why even listen to them?
• Knight in Shining Armor - Someone is in need of help! But instead of really listening and being there for that person, I try to instantly solve the problem with a big, showy heap of good advice. I sometimes argue with other knights about whose advice is the best.
• Blame - I say the problem is someone else's fault.
• Martyrdom - I insist that I am an innocent victim, and other people are treating me unfairly.
• Being Demanding - I grab center stage by demanding that I deserve better treatment or deserve an apology. I insist that I regret being unpleasant, but other people "made me do it."
• Scapegoating - I suggest that someone else is the one with a problem, and that I am sane, happy, and uninvolved with the conflict.
• Counterattack - Instead of trying to understand how the other person feels, I respond to their criticism (or well intentioned feedback) by criticising them.
• Diversion - Instead of responding to the feelings at hand, I dig up dirt from the past and throw it at people. If my opponent ever did anything wrong, I 'win.'

If even one person gets something out of this, I'll be happy.

[Kekskiller]

Wow, this is an useful list! I usually try to avoid all of by sparing linguistic communication in general . No, it isn't like that. But some topics (like somebody saying ASCII games sucks) can make me extremely angry/grumpy/unfriendly - filling my own list of bad communication characteristics rapidly. I'm sure that can applied to a lot of people.

Thanks for sharing!

[LeFishy]

Haha. Wow this pretty much sums up my topic from a few days ago.

Yeah it's pretty much true though isn't it.

I'm pretty sure I am guilty of many though I am not sure guilt is the word because really a lot of them seem to be part of human nature.