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[FK in the Coffee]

I second the comments on polish.  For $0, and such a short time in production, this level of quality is immense, and the GUI and menus were presented smoothly and professionally.  The art is also orgasm-worthy, so kudos to whoever did the graphics in this.

That being said, I very much enjoyed the writing from the demo.  Like some of the people above have said, there are a few typos here and there, but I can't point out any others than the ones that have already been mentioned.  The choice sections were very appropriately placed, and the twig icon was a nice indicator of which parts of the story were influenced by the choices.

One gripe I have so far is that Cinders herself doesn't seem to be developing much as a character.  A large amount of VN protagonists seem to suffer from this sort of thing, and Cinders does too, though to a lesser extent.  The sections where she elaborates on her past are interesting, to be sure, and those stand out as some of the better of her scenes, but there are many areas where I found her character to be little more than a mediator for feuds between other characters.

I enjoyed the pace of the game, though.  Most VNs that I've read are unbearably slow with moving their plot forward.  The scenes here were promptly and concisely written, and the moments of intrigue and character introductions were nicely spaced, and kept me interested throughout.

I cannot wait for the finished product here!  As far as production value goes, this is right up there with Katawa Shoujo, and the art style is something much more unique to the genre of visual novels.  Here's hoping to this project's success down the line!

[TeeGee]

Make Cinders development as a character more visible -- got it  . The new writer had similar issues with her, and said she wants to make Cinders personality and backstory more pronounced, so I guess she's on the right track.

For $0, and such a short time in production, this level of quality is immense,

Hah, I wish I could say that the production time was short. The whole game was meant to be done in under 6 months, and actually the code and art was well done by that time. Writing took forever though, and we're slowly approaching the one year mark .

[nikwing]

Hi,

Would love to try the demo for this game :D

thanks

[TeeGee]

You signed up just to get the demo? I mean, that's awesome and all, but I'm not really comfortable sending it to someone who doesn't seem to be a member of this community. My intent was to share it with fellow indie developers to see what they think, and I don't even know if you are one.

Could you at least write a bit about yourself? Are you going to stay in this community or did you just sign up to get free stuff?

[Moczan]

Hi, if it's possible, I would like to check the demo too. I'm also from Poland and I want to support every indie games activity here, even if just by leaving my feedback 

[TeeGee]

Check your PM box .

[Moczan]

Sorry for the late feedback. I finally had chance to play the game today and it's brilliant! I don't really have experience with Visual Novels, I've recently played Katawa Shoujo when it got front paged on TIG and I really liked it. In Cinders, I've managed to reach day 3 (1st day of Lady's absence) and it crashed on lake scene (more on this at the bottom).

'Gameplay', plot, others
First, I will say what everyone have already said, the amount of polish is amazing, the game is certainly of highest quality in all aspects. I have some criticism I will write here, but other than that it's really great. I like the fact that you gave players a lot of choices. Katawa Shoujo is mainly about reading and small number of choice, while in Cinders you have multiple choices per conversation! While many of them probably don't affect the plot that much, it's still a great thing to have. I don't like that the game cannot be fully controlled with keyboard (at least I would expect left/right arrow + enter for choices). The plot seems promising, I only didn't like 2 things. In conversation with Madame Ghede about sister, the only choices were "i hate them" or "they are not that bad". It's a really really minor thing, but I tried to play a friend of Sophia and arc-enemy of Gloria so the answer was a bit hard for me. Also on the 3rd day, I started with lake scene -> madame ghede -> inn visit -> lake again, and the second lake scene was the same as first which was a bit stupid, because Cinders was surprised at fairies and had the same conversation even though it was their second encounter. Also this is where the game crashed.

Music
Wow, what a great job here. The quality of the recordings is great and the atmosphere they create is perfect. My only criticism here is about sound effects. In moments when somebody screams/enters room suddenly, you have that screen-shake effect but no sound effect to emphasize the action even further.

Artwork
It's very unique and it's gives me a bit of a Vanillaware vibe from the way you animate backgrounds and characters and that's the best compliment you could get from me, because I totally love their work.
But there is one big problem with artwork and it's the Captain Perrault. Geez, the anatomy of that guy, compared to other characters, is terrible. Those damn arms are too short! Definitely sticks out from other characters and need to be retouched before released. And Sophia's hand!
I also find it funny that people call it de-Disneyfied version when the main menu and map GUI gives such a strong Disney feel (which is definitely a good thing!)

About the bug that I've encountered here it is:

Code:

ERROR in
action number 1
of Mouse Event for Glob Left Released
for object dialogue:

Error in code at line 1:
   change_scene(sc_night1)
               ^
at position 14: Unknown variable sc_night1

PM if you need more details about it.

[TeeGee]

Thanks for the feedback and kind words.

The doubled lake scene and the crash afterwards were reported by other testers and it's been fixed already in the new version. Sorry for that  . The demo ends after that scene anyway, so at least you haven't lost much.

In moments when somebody screams/enters room suddenly, you have that screen-shake effect but no sound effect to emphasize the action even further.

Good point. I'm not sure if I can find a sound that won't be too cartoony for that, but I'll try.

But there is one big problem with artwork and it's the Captain Perrault.

Ahh, the poor Captain Perrault, giving our artist grief since 1786. Yeah, he needs a make-over.

I also find it funny that people call it de-Disneyfied version when the main menu and map GUI gives such a strong Disney feel (which is definitely a good thing!)

Yeah, I'm also surprised that people so often call it a de-Disneyfied or "darker" version of Cinderella, when it's nothing like it. If it opposes anything directly, it's the core concept of "be a good girl and you will find a husband" that's with the story since its origin. It may be a feminist version of Cinderella, but style-wise it's still pretty bright and fairytale-ish.

Maybe it's because "darker" versions of Disney classics seem to be a thing now. With shit like the new Alice in Wonderland or Snow White hitting the cinemas. Hah, maybe the game has more mass-market appeal than we initially thought  .

[FK in the Coffee]

At any rate, it wouldn't be any darker than the actual story.  There's a reason why they're the Brothers Grimm.  Their stories are dark and disturbing as hell.

[TeeGee]

Brother's Grimm version isn't the "actual" or "original" story. It's a pretty modern re-telling, actually. The earliest written European version was published by Giambattista Basile in 1634, and in 1697 Charles Perrault wrote the most popular one, with Fairy Godmother, pumpkin carriage, missing slippers and all. The actual story and its general trope existed much earlier though, tracing back to ancient Greece and China.

And yeah, those were all pretty dark. For example: in Basille's version Cinderella kills her own mother, thus allowing the wicked stepmother to move it.

[TeeGee]

The game is almost done and I'm counting down the amount of scenes left to implement on my twitter and our facebook page. Here's more info: http://moacube.com/news/the-final-countdown/

Man, I really want this game to be finally out. Took waaay to long. 

[TeeGee]

So maybe we are slightly delayed by a teeny-weeny year, and maybe I don't even remember how money even looks like at this point, but at least we finally know the release date: http://moacube.com/?p=1282

[kamac]

Yay. That artwork look impressive.

[TeeGee]

The game was just sent to the pre-order owners :D. It's just 6 more days before the public release. I'm excited as fuck!

[ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)]

glad to see you finishing it up!

(it's also a little bit depressing to see that you went from 0% to 90% and now to release in the time it took me to go from 70% to 80% in SD :p)

[TeeGee]

...and we're still delayed by a around year. Granted, SD is a more complex game than Cinders. But you're still slacking off. Get SD done already!

[TeeGee]

The game is done! Comes out tomorrow. There'll be a public demo and everything. Excited  .

[ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)]

congrats teegee (do i get a free copy? i playtested! :p)

it's generally best to sell just from your own website at first and then put it on portals later, for a number of reasons. most veteran commercial indie developers that i've talked to recommend keeping a new game exclusive to your site for a couple of months before putting it on a portal

[TeeGee]

Yeah, for now just through our website. It's a niche game, so focus on direct sales makes the most sense. Some time later it should also appear on affiliates' websites (mainly other VN developers, we don't have their audience). There are some plans for the future, but too uncertain to talk about them yet.

[TeeGee]

The game is out: http://moacube.com/news/cinders-is-out/

Do I now request a mod to move it to announcements or something? I'm a bit confused as to what to do .