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[Alevice]

I ran over an animal and didnt have the guts to check if it was okay or not. Ijust heard when the tires hit with something and it started screaming then steered the car and heard how something was possible crushed. I feel like total shit. 

[clockwrk_routine]

I once crushed a frog with my foot, it crushed me, I knew it was still barely alive, but I couldn't put it out of its misery.

@carrion you know... there are alot of things about independent game dev I don't like, particularly if you live outside of any sort of dev scene, it's really lonely and if you're like me, you like to surround yourself with people but for me I've seen less and less of my friends and spend the majority inside.  Yea those are pretty much big reasons not to take up game dev.  There's a long road before any sort of payoff, and even that is kind of not certain.  So speaking about quality of life I don't think it's the best road to take.  

But honestly dude, people seem to eat your shit up like candy, and I think if you had a modest crowdfunding campaign you could support your first project no problem, as long as the scope is small enough for you, you just need to buckle down.  You have a lot of options, things to really consider, how do you want to live your life, who do you want to surround yourself with.  shits really important.

edit: you're art's not shit, but I think you know what I mean

[Carrion]

I ran over an animal and didnt have the guts to check if it was okay or not. Ijust heard when the tires hit with something and it started screaming then steered the car and heard how something was possible crushed. I feel like total shit. 

That's bogus, I can relate to you not wanting to check it. We assume the worst in those situations. Hopefully it was a cardboard box or something....

hugs

[sublinimal]

Most of the time, I feel like I'm running out of time. To be honest, I haven't been able to actually relax in years. I just feel guilty when I try to take "time off" from whatever projects I've currently signed my sorry ass up for.

Then again, when I'm working on something (creative or not), I seem to go around in circles or hit walls. I look back and I mostly see goals I haven't met. I'm constantly obsessed or anxious about something but I barely have anything to show for it. Because of that energy drain, I feel tired all the time, have a hard time focusing, and am severely underweight. And in a state like that it's no wonder I can't get things done, so we have a feedback loop.

It's infuriating and I'm afraid it's all going to reach a critical mass if I can't make some sort of lifestyle change.

[Blambo]

Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, one 
 
should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves,
being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake,
falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day
without fail one should consider himself as dead.

[Carrion]

I think I just need to keep working it and maybe I'll finally make a game or two.

games aren't rocket science, and if you're not writing engine trope code they're barely even computer science.

“Making video games isn't rocket science, it's a lot more complicated.”  John Carmack

[Geti]

Fwiw I don't think Carmack has built or designed a working rocket.

[Carrion]

Fwiw I don't think Carmack has built or designed a working rocket.

Armadillo Aerospace is an aerospace startup company based in Mesquite, Texas. Its initial goal was to build a manned suborbital spacecraft capable of space tourism, and had also stated long-term ambitions of orbital spaceflight. The company was founded by John Carmack.

[Geti]

I stand corrected, wiki says its in hibernation mode due to crashes and other setbacks though. I flat out don't believe that there's more involved in a game than a rocket though, considering you can finish a game in a weekend (or a day), as one person.

[Blambo]

Man, someone actually qualified to make a rocket science joke.

[Kekskiller]

As if owning a company makes you understand what your employees are doing.

[Carrion]

As if owning a company makes you understand what your employees are doing.

He's their lead engineer...

[Kekskiller]

I've met lead programmers not knowing a thing about what was programmed for parts of the game. I don't think it's too different with leads in whatever area but yeah, this makes him a bit more qualified for rocket science game dev crossover jokes.

I do, however, support his thesis since making good games involves many highly subjective and non-scientific choices to make it appeal to your potential players. Science is rather specific in this way and sports appropriate models to conquer new grounds. Whether a gae is good however is totally subjective and the progress of making it is even more vague. And it takes everyone of us a lifetime or even more to realise the extends of it.

[Geti]

Depends how wanky and philosophical you want to get with it, I guess. You could argue that painting is a deeper field than microbiology on similar grounds (creative versus scientific) - to me the comparison is meaningless at best, problematic at worst.

...Either way, I meant the rocket science thing as it's not that complicated or that difficult to make a game as long as you keep a handle on scope and either use a "handle the technical shit for me" engine/framework, or have good technical knowledge. After that, commitment and a bit of creativity is really all it takes.

[toborprime]

*Hugz for rocket scientists, micro-biologists, painters, and game developers*

[Carrion]

Depends how wanky and philosophical you want to get with it, I guess. You could argue that painting is a deeper field than microbiology on similar grounds (creative versus scientific) - to me the comparison is meaningless at best, problematic at worst.

...Either way, I meant the rocket science thing as it's not that complicated or that difficult to make a game as long as you keep a handle on scope and either use a "handle the technical shit for me" engine/framework, or have good technical knowledge. After that, commitment and a bit of creativity is really all it takes.

I like to get wanky, really wanky. ;;;;ooooo

[DanDecarlo]

Maybe it's not a real problem, but here goes.
I recently decided to become an indie dev because I felt for a long time I am a burden for my friends and co-workers. Not because I was uncompetent and didn't get things done, but because I am very unsociable. Everyone else talks so much and seems so happy, makes jokes, but I am just sitting there being serious, and trying to push the progress and perfect the stuff i'm working on. So I got tired of trying to fit in, if I can make a living not pissing anyone off with my seriousness, then I'll rather do that, even if it means making 10x less money, I really don't care about material stuff.

So i'm doing that and it's the best time of my life, but making games kinda means going against my philosphy, and selling out. Because games are about competition, trying to beat someone, slice and shoot things up, and it's hard to accept that in this world it is the most popular stuff. 

Of course, I could make a puzzle/adventure/dating sim/whatever game, but I already produced tons of images and designs, and making games that tend to be less popular I have the risk of going broke. I don't care about myself, but I have responsibilities to my family to take care of myself, and any problems I have, I want to stay my own problems.
I like working on games, drawing, doing design, but the feeling that something is wrong remains.

[jddg5wa]

^ I'd like to point out that you don't have to sell yourself out. Making puzzle games and sims can be extremely popular. To name a few popular games that don't fit the shooting category, Simcity, The Sims, Portal 2, Little Big Planet, Minecraft, Rollercoaster Tycoon. Those games are or have been immensely popular and they don't fit in the shooter category at all. One thing to do in creating what you want is to (a) do it to your best ability, if improving and doing it better than that and (b) be contagiously excited for what you do create.

It's totally possible to get away with making indie games and not selling yourself out. There are plenty of people that have and still do that. Best of luck!

[clockwrk_routine]

Most of the time, I feel like I'm running out of time. To be honest, I haven't been able to actually relax in years. I just feel guilty when I try to take "time off" from whatever projects I've currently signed my sorry ass up for.

Then again, when I'm working on something (creative or not), I seem to go around in circles or hit walls. I look back and I mostly see goals I haven't met. I'm constantly obsessed or anxious about something but I barely have anything to show for it. Because of that energy drain, I feel tired all the time, have a hard time focusing, and am severely underweight. And in a state like that it's no wonder I can't get things done, so we have a feedback loop.

It's infuriating and I'm afraid it's all going to reach a critical mass if I can't make some sort of lifestyle change.

I had a similar thing going on a couple weeks ago.  I've been doing dev work off an on for the last couple years, and just started doing it full time.  The first month, we were so excited, and crunched hard.  My mental and physical health went to shit, I chained smoked and drank extreme amounts of coffee.  I stopped biking and going out in general which was my only form of exercise.  I should of died.  I was an anemic filthy sweaty excrement of a human who viewed life through a 21 inch monitor.

And then I just burned out.  Depression up the ass.

Gamedev is such a involving hobby/job it pretty much takes over your everyday, everything else pretty much gets run to ground if you're not paying attention, that's how involving it is.

Doing anything creative becomes your life, looking after your mental and physical health is a part of it - it's like half of it.  Oddly enough sinking so low, I vividly saw everything I was doing wrong, and it filled me with the HIGHEST OF CONVICTIONS TO GET IT RIGHT.  It made it easier to quit smoking, cutting down my coffee intake and the lanky tan kid began running around his 100 sq meter block and doing yoga and other healthy things.  And then I found a million dollars.  So yea path to success.

[DanDecarlo]

I know that feel, been working the last month without days off and not going out. Good thing that I live on the country, so it's easier to answer natures call!