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[Chris Whitman]

I'll just leave this here...

I believe the title roughly translates as, "All Aboard the Man-Love Spaceship".

[Tobasco Panda]

I'll just leave this here...

Your father was killed in a mysterious hurdling accident and it is up to YOU, Chinese Olympic Track Star, Ro Hakuzi to find his killer and avenge his death! Run against other racer with the easy to learn, hard to master Dynamic Egression System to try to win a spot on the Olympic team and travel to Japan to find responsible for your father's death.

Featuring!
 -over 80 hours of recorded voice lines
 -play minigames including "Q-bert" and "Hunt the Wumpus" to earn money
 -Dynamic Egression System bring strategy to running
 -Easily ignorable love interest
 -Over 10 hours of exciting "Dock Worker" gameplay
 -Makes full use of the NES Track and Field Game Controller Pad*

*Requires Track and Field Game Controller Pad

[DangerMomentum]

Have fun.

[skaldicpoet9]

In Toobin' you play as Randy Allen, your average beer-guzzling wannabe frat boy. Randy wants to get into the perfect frat house: the Trent City Toobin' Boys, but first he must endure a lengthy process of hazing. Can you survive coasting down the most treacherous river in the upstate area in nothing but a pair of boxers after shotgunning 30 beers? Can you survive your one night stand with Tuna Can Tiffany and her putrid tuna breath of death? Can you endure the humiliation of spending the night in jail with Smilin' Al Speevey and his not so subtle advances? Do you have what it takes to get into the frat of your dreams? Play Toobin' and find out what kind of worthless college jackass your are!

[jjs]

You are Timmy the Trout.  Your mission is to lure foolish tubists to a painful and genital-mangling death on the rocks.

The year is 20XX.  The two surviving Village People must use their cybernetic enhancements to battle the MegaCorps, and, perhaps, rekindle their lost love...

Al Bundy has been sent to the future.  Teaming up with his giant robotic fist, he must use his razor-sharp gold shuriken shaped like the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality to fight crime and sell shoes!  Only for Nintendo.  Now you're playing with POWER!

[William Broom]

The entire game (except for the final boss) is set in a single brief moment, as two champion fighters stare each other down. Each one imagines the possible outcomes of the fight, like that scene in Hero. You must traverse a series of possible futures with your opponent, ranging from humiliating defeat to corporate partnership and hot man love. In each future, you must determine where you went wrong and then escape back to the start of the fight by finding a Time Chain. Then you can try again - but a new problem will crop up. Your mistake always occurs during the fight, and gradually you work out a series of 'correct' moves that will lead you not only to a victory, but a good victory (since some victories will end in the aforementioned manlove, among other things). Once you have the entire sequence, you go to the final stage, and the only section of the game that takes place outside your imagination. By copying your imagined movements perfectly, you can get the best ending - screw up at any point, and you're destined for a bad ending. This offers some interesting moral choices: The 'best ending' features you brutally beating your opponent and becoming a world champion fighter. But is this truly the best path for you? Perhaps you would be more happy as the CEO of a powerful megacorporation, or adrift in the muscled arms of your lover? The choice is yours in this powerful exploration of the relationship between player and game.

[neon]

The entire game (except for the final boss) is set in a single brief moment, as two champion fighters stare each other down. Each one imagines the possible outcomes of the fight, like that scene in Hero. You must traverse a series of possible futures with your opponent, ranging from humiliating defeat to corporate partnership and hot man love. In each future, you must determine where you went wrong and then escape back to the start of the fight by finding a Time Chain. Then you can try again - but a new problem will crop up. Your mistake always occurs during the fight, and gradually you work out a series of 'correct' moves that will lead you not only to a victory, but a good victory (since some victories will end in the aforementioned manlove, among other things). Once you have the entire sequence, you go to the final stage, and the only section of the game that takes place outside your imagination. By copying your imagined movements perfectly, you can get the best ending - screw up at any point, and you're destined for a bad ending. This offers some interesting moral choices: The 'best ending' features you brutally beating your opponent and becoming a world champion fighter. But is this truly the best path for you? Perhaps you would be more happy as the CEO of a powerful megacorporation, or adrift in the muscled arms of your lover? The choice is yours in this powerful exploration of the relationship between player and game.

[neon]

ah!  also, on that note..

[William Broom]

Out in the depths of the American desert, heroic cop Malcolm Douglas has a chance meeting with surly truck driver J.F. Lucas when they come across a mysterious crater by the side of the road. Pretty soon a mystical alien emerges and fires a mysterious beam at their vehicles, melting them together and leaving them awkwardly conjoined at the side and tilted away from each other at 30 degrees. With no other means for transportation for a hundred miles, the two disparate drivers must learn to work together to drive their cumbersome Siamese twin of a vehicle and warn the people of America about the impending threat of the gigantic alien. But as the heroes learn to communicate effectively and work in synchrony, they realise this fusion machine might be the only weapon in the world that can defeat the menace once and for all.

[neon]

Out in the depths of the American desert, heroic cop Malcolm Douglas has a chance meeting with surly truck driver J.F. Lucas when they come across a mysterious crater by the side of the road. Pretty soon a mystical alien emerges and fires a mysterious beam at their vehicles, melting them together and leaving them awkwardly conjoined at the side and tilted away from each other at 30 degrees. With no other means for transportation for a hundred miles, the two disparate drivers must learn to work together to drive their cumbersome Siamese twin of a vehicle and warn the people of America about the impending threat of the gigantic alien. But as the heroes learn to communicate effectively and work in synchrony, they realise this fusion machine might be the only weapon in the world that can defeat the menace once and for all.

Disney, Inc.™

[DjangoDurango]

You'd need to include a provision to explain what happened to two wheels on each vehicle.

Otherwise, it'd be "22 Wheels of Thunder!".

[Synnah]

Obviously, two wheels from each vehicle got fused together, rendering them unusable!

Here's a classic:

Yes, it's the same Rogue...

[William Broom]

Obviously, two wheels from each vehicle got fused together, rendering them unusable!

Actually, they fall off and roll away at the start of the game, then return as the boss at the end of the second level. The four smaller wheels are encased inside a gigantic one. To defeat it, you have to drive off a conveniently placed ramp and jump through the big wheel, knocking the little wheels loose. Then you have to grapple them one by one with your towball and toss them off a cliff into a river of acid.

[Chris Whitman]

Yes, it's the same Rogue...

The real problem with doing your Maxim photo shoot in an ancient cave is all those barbarians and shit getting in the way.

[DjangoDurango]

So it's a photography game?

[Chris Whitman]

You have to take pictures of the models without accidentally catching the ripped, sweaty, loin-cloth-clad men in the shot. The more barbarians you accidentally photograph, the more Maxim readers beat each other to death in a hyper-masculine, homophobic rage and the less money you make from ads.

Also, there is a photoshopping mini-game: max out your points by making the model look like a weird, plastic space-creature!

[Hinchy]

You have to take pictures of the models without accidentally catching the ripped, sweaty, loin-cloth-clad men in the shot. The more barbarians you accidentally photograph, the more Maxim readers beat each other to death in a hyper-masculine, homophobic rage and the less money you make from ads.

Also, there is a photoshopping mini-game: max out your points by making the model look like a weird, plastic space-creature!

so in other words, it's a re-skinned Paparazzi Of The Ancients?

[Chris Whitman]

Why must you shoot down everything I create?

This is why we can't have nice things.

[Mentalpatient109]

[William Broom]

Not touching that one.