Day 1: 3500 mg of potassium. Noteworthy: left kidney? had a fluttering feeling, felt it in my left front side though. Normal sleep. Strong ammonia in urine.
It's not like they gave me antipsychotics for a kidney disease. This doesn't count as a kidney disease.
Apparently an injury leaks potassium at first, causing hyperkalemia. It stands to reason that it requires potassium to recover. The critical core muscles normally get everything incl. potassium first. The weirdest symptom caused by medication was loss of firmness in my abdomen, suggesting it inverted the priority of my nervous system, starving my brain and core muscles of electrolytes.
So, there's a physical explanation. If I stop exercising the resources should start to be reserved for my brain again. But I need to be sure this isn't a fluke.
All that's clear now is doctors like throwing people in mental hospitals, including other doctors in the past who advocate for washing your hands. That and 98% of adults won't be given the right advice if they ever suffer from potassium deficiency, it will be completely random if they actually eat more potassium at the right times. If a doctor ever admits they have no idea how the human body works, they'd be right.
Doctors in my state aren't willing to investigate an individual's unique needs. They don't seem to be given any training in nutritional facts. They have proven to discourage patients from learning, or recovering without some expensive medical intervention. They are inadequate, and unskilled at their own field. I have zero confidence in them.My brain hasn't developed any new ability this whole time with insufficient sleep. My body has... maybe motor control doesn't need much to improve, if I can imagine myself doing it I can already do it, the problem is my muscles can't do it if they're not real.
...
While I'm still slightly obsessed about getting the full story out, I'll just talk about myself some more. You could sum up my original character as one-dimensional, as a true stoic behaves. I eventually made an investment and spent a challenging 5 hours building an expensive computer by age 24, and the motherboard was screwed up so I broke it down and built it up a few times, waited a month without the motherboard or a computer, and ended up buying a more expensive one. That's like a dramatic telling of my coming of true nerddom. Saved every penny I was ever given, and never earned a penny more.
Day 2: 3500 mg of potassium. I woke up twice at night without an external stimuli. I may be optimistic this morning.
Anyways. I spent close to 15 years in a school that effectively taught everyone drugs and physical contact is bad. You'd have to be a pariah. Someone like that can't be mentally fit. In modern society they nominate themselves into position of proverbial judge, jury, and executioner. School is completely useless, so are laws, only power matters and the desire to mask its use under some benevolent horseshit; so in the future, people can't have jobs like that. See, optimistic.
Of course recognizing facts like a minority of people elect themselves to jobs of a pariah, would get you subjected to one of their magic rules. Butchers are respected, because nobody in their right mind would be a butcher. Ok this feels awkward. I can't denounce people doing something strange, because it's a very deliberate choice. I will, if the choice is to butcher living things. People who have plenty of sex are pounding the meat of living things. Ok let's just say, if an animal doesn't consent to getting pounded flat it's immoral, and someone who'd do that is a butcher, not a porn star. I won't get into contemplating what is consent, that is decided by society. But you can't really consent / volunteer to anything without knowing what it is first.
https://rabbids.fandom.com/wiki/The_Rabbid_Paradox?file=Smarter_Rabbids.jpgI have the impression I need to practice resting a lot more. Usually my problem is my mind's too quiet, and it gets worse if I oversleep. Now it's clearly not quiet enough, and I'm under-sleeping.
The internet suggests that there is a normal functioning person. But lacks a realistic image of one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normality_(behavior)
Someone decided that kids who think are abnormal. They were called little scientists.
I watched my teachers, they launched verbal interference at the kids sitting at their desks without a single thought. A kid makes a weird noise, bam, sit still. These teachers are normal, here. They didn't devote a brain cell to avoid creating this mental image of a hanging judge. Their entire existence was like fish in an aquarium. (My elementary school impression of adults) Of course I thought, there's no way all adults are so, like this, but the recent snap judgements adults have made let an impression on me. I gave them too much credit, I can only be grateful that I will never support their existence in the future. I support the idea of them interfacing with technology. They don't deserve any additional help from me to achieve that goal, they can help themselves. See, morally I'd create a more viable option, but I have doubts about their motivation and moral decision making skills.
I looked up other causes of potassium deficiency... yeah I probably had it as a kid from throwing up each night. So basically, there's almost no chance you will have potassium deficiency, it's undetectable if your body breaks its cells down with cortisol on a regular basis, because that puts potassium back in your blood stream when you need it.
I have the impression I'll start feeling worse at this point, before I get better. Sleep in general. But even the potassium causing my muscles to slowly stop tensing is about as unpleasant as any ache.
At this moment I realized. I'm probably just slowing the healing progress by exercising my whole body. So, I should be focused on the spots that need to heal to force them to absorb potassium.
Day 3: No major change. I have been noticing a moist sensation on my skin in general, it seems to increase each day.
I've never seen hairs on my head come back after they fall out. On a related topic I'm rubbing my foot to stimulate the toe today. The sensation comes and goes, but if I don't touch it it stays gone until I take a step on it, and the missing sensation is pretty noticeable when you've been walking on bare feet with almost no callous development forever.
I feel strangely healthy despite the visual signs that I'm not. There is more moisture reaching my face than I'm used to. And my wrists felt sore when I woke up, but quickly went to normal, like just in case I forgot I gave them a good workout two days ago.
... potassium
So remember this... if you have (symptoms A): dry eyelids, dry lips, large amounts of salty sweat, very little sweat, weak muscles, cramps, spasms, chest pains, stomach pains. Check how much potassium you eat. If it gets even worse you've ignored these things an extremely long time.
If you experienced muscle injury or inflammation the potassium in your blood will gradually rise, you'll need a hospital in about a week. Your blood levels will be normal before the cells recover, increasing the risk of lower potassium later (eg when you sleep, you might experience symptoms A).
It's pretty irritating, I've had dry lips and eyelids forever. We are truly in the dark ages of body science.
At this point the hospital is either completely worthless or they're a bunch of opportunistic assassins. Either way I don't see anyone who had a say in the decision in a medical field for the rest of their guinea pig life.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6410402/What I'm implying is they either don't give a shit about facts. Or they had a pretty good idea that my diet would kill me on this medication. There is no gray area, they may have even tried to replicate this very issue on me because I didn't have a diagnosis, just a stomach issue. So, they found out that a drug that causes metabolic syndrome, causes literally every metabolic syndrome, give them a medal.
... did I misuse the word autistic?
I'm about to say the most annoying thing right now. The diagnosis for autism is pretty much bullshit. My family are high functioning enough not to be diagnosed. The only clear factors are they generally don't show any emotional intelligence in private, and they pretend to be someone else in public. Other querks like ocd... are functional, like wanting to clean things, or getting a high score, or impress people for clout. After I got my head slammed into a wall, I started to question all the stupid little things normal people do and especially idioms, and my language skills didn't develop, which lands me square in the autism agnostic category. Aren't normal people actually on the spectrum, with higher (different) language skill (so they don't question it)? The idea of an idiom is you expect a result when you repeat it, so, I fail to expect the result and work around it instead. For some reason I misheard a lot of words when I was young, and my brother would quite likely intentionally lie about stuff, so that also made the viability of communication pretty shit. Stuff is changing like my memory improved, but other stuff like emotional intelligence goes out the window due to environment. My body can't tell if it's missing nutrition, or signal or identify when I need it, so that's another kind of intelligence I simply don't have (which is pretty common right?).
I kind of hate the idea that large groups of people with disorders determine what is normal. But that may be reality. Rome was a syphilitic leaded-and-not-so-drunken paradise for its time, and that was the normal then. As much as I hate the idea, there is no alternative without science.
Hypothesis
Potassium might actually be imitated by neurotransmitters. Here's the basic concept. I was doing almost well enough with endorphins, endorphins counter depression and pain. People take SSRI for depression or severe pain. They pretty much all accomplish the same goal.
Following hypothesis
Drugs that displace potassium, and act as SSRI, are killing people.
Although I wouldn't limit the possibility to just potassium. The fact is potassium effectively allows nerves to communicate, it has an impact on fluid retention, and it likely plays a vital role in sleep when your spinal fluid increases. I have somewhat limited knowledge about electrolytes and neurotransmitters, just the tidbits I need to live.
The experiment is underway. I took a couple SSRI in my past. TMI, removed a small chunk of text. Figure out what I'm saying.
Prozac produced a lot more fluid. And swelling that required additional attention. But this was also during my distance running years.
Risperidone produced less fluid. There was a distinct flaccidity. But the volume was high. Note: it also had a very unpleasant mucous build up in the respiratory tract.
I took two others, and couldn't produce 'fluid'.
A bunny ear produces fluid. The bunny ear was also extra sensitive when taking SSRI, which probably can't be reproduced normally. It's partly in the mind, there's a guaranteed diminishing return, I didn't want to stay around and find out. You don't touch a bunny ear directly without permission.
Uhh. The volume of fluid seems less after stopping for a long duration. And it's gradually gotten lower. But things are picking up. The potassium experiment will be long-term. Whereas SSRI have been super-effective in a week. Also they're kind of boner-killers when you first take them.
This is pretty weird and I think if I'm forced to know this, everyone else can too. It's possible that endorphins have a strong interaction with brain and sexual function. I will have to get back into endurance-running shape to confirm it one day. I didn't feel the urge to call myself a bunny before certain milestones were met, to phrase things discreetly, and just a bit suggestive of what it takes to run 5 hours without re-hydrating midway.
Alright. I found out if I lay down for a while and get up there's no drowsiness, suggesting the fluids in my body are staying in place longer instead of pooling from gravity.
It is very likely I've been getting less than optimal sunlight recently decreasing my vit D, and decreasing phosphorous metabolism, but with the lack of sleep and other skin problems, I wasn't risking standing in direct sunlight for long. Maybe I'll make the proper adjustments. My windows in this apartment aren't treated so I've been getting sunlight, but I also dodge the rays of light that come in and heat up my skin. Plus the potential scalp burning issue is there now.
I have a vague memory about worrying about phosphorus. The danger of wasted energy digesting processed foods without bio-available phosphorus hasn't really escaped me. On the other hand I seem to have tons of energy now, and it's become very misdirected.
I also don't want to talk about drugs. By now it should be obvious why I am, and why I never needed them. The problems I have are a continuous cascade of government approved mistakes in the guise of dullards, individuals on the verge of extinction, or just old people who died before I was old enough to point out their mistakes. Instead of pretending they were a great influence on my life I'll tell the truth.
There's been a lot of strange stuff I've witnessed. I have tapped into tropes people can get really hooked into. I'm doing my best to start writing in private again. This type of rant has been an urge I suppressed long ago. I do plan on changing the world, but it's not really necessary to know me or the flights of fancy I have. What matters is 5+ years of work that I committed to finish. None of which could be called oppressing my neighbors. In 5 years a single phone call my privileged neighbors flight of fancy would have me oppressed for nearly two years. To that I say, I sat in my room for two years without being oppressed and I became Buddha, god, and witnessed a miracle of my own ingenuity, and then you showed up and called me a retard because of how I looked. Maybe you can sit in a room just like this for four years, I won't even require your shoulder to be broken. There will be a tape on replay of me talking about the hospital lobotomizing people each night. Nobody's going to blow you this time, you'll be alone. Someone will be doing repair on the window downstairs every single afternoon. And at night there will be incredibly loud snoring, that gets louder if you try to make it stop. They said I was the Devil when I got forced back to the hospital, so it's appropriate I take command of hell. I kind of wish I imagined that part, but it was just the beginning of the hospital security gaslighting me. I'm not sure what game they thought they were playing. My post count on this forum was something like 665, that made it seem plausible I have an internal count of every post I made, and my sleep deprivation was getting the better of me, so I'll just drop it. But I must turn and question the medical profession's perception of reality for their given response, which is what this has mostly been, their deficit is somehow congenital, treat like with like.
Day 4: Imperfect sleep. Still weigh about 187 lbs. No change.
I'm not sure how I feel about admitting severe sleep deprivation turns me into a numbers guy.
There were recently some pretty extreme 'coincidences'. A certain space related author's death coincided with an online ban. I wouldn't even defrock the admins. I got some lazer tight focus on my programming work, the RNG, and pretty immediate death while playing most round, may have had an unprecedented impact. I was also pretty juiced from my fresh injury, endorphins. I decided, I didn't want to go back, and a little over one year later started posting in this topic. It intensified my preference to solo games at the very least.
There are a few people who think they need to drop a hint that I live in a completely different culture from them, and there's supposed to be something wrong with that. A personal attack doesn't compare to local vigilantes. Like I said my brother was all about telling me to kill myself. After trying to process the greed and envy of people committed to mediocracy, you run out of bile, shit turns white, and you might be constipated, emotionally. Inevitably the stereotypes about autism go around, because after years of mentally torturing intellectuals, they're almost bullet proof. So, I'm pretty sure
I have a false impression from the media's dissemination of mental health information and likely so do 'professionals' who follow algorithms instead of using their brain, they live in a clickbait culture where they earn money from outrage and plausible deniability is their armor (armor of ignorance), and I don't earn money unless I finish work with real value.
I think I'm done. I thought my 4 step learning method was revolutionary. The reality is, it probably won't make a difference. It's not a work of art, a story, gadget, toy, or game, it's just technology like a pencil eraser (a blueprint of a pencil eraser). It's something I need to practice, like dance steps. Maybe I forgot how to do it.
I'm done not justify myself, because this has been a lesson in how depravity makes people too self-righteous to expect a normal reaction. The norm is depraved of reason, and accept the use of force and blind faith, which attract greater numbers of participants. I'm depraved of my own needs by other people who simply fear the difference in our choice of faith makes me a dangerous out-group. I'm just working on something that might change their mind, before robots replace them, and their debilitating way of rationalizing all their actions evolves them retrograde.
This is a little unfair. My ideas might be to enhance fun, education, and open people up to possibilities, and I've complained about the irrational behavior of a few people.
Time to lighten the mood. Nsfw talents should be coveted, and the future of genetic engineering depends on their great ambition. The interpretation of the act, and the biology with fantasy-style attributes. There would always be limits, but damn it we have to try and make life better for the future, in every way imaginable.
I had a very normal sounding thought. First, this is making me sound a bit like Andrew Ryan Bioshock. And then, after looking at some crummy photos of when my back was still hunched forward. I thought this photo makes my face look really fat, my pupils were always super dilated. I shouldn't keep thinking about other people, because, that's not normal for me.
But I did think about Malcolm in the middle before Rapture. Of course it's satire. The family members, except maybe Hal, are natural survivalists. Malcolm decided that his gift and preferential treatment endangered his survival, he argues his family is normal. We know it's not true. Basically, survivalists are the staple crop for founding colonies. They'd have to endure total boredom, harsh environment, and try to blend in case they are somewhat mixed in look and mind. If robots aren't going to do the job, we'd need to bio-engineer humans. It's just not easy enough to become a perfect survivalist over night, and you can't tell me drugs solve everything. As for long-standing nations, there should be forerunners who would help survivalists cope, and they'd encourage the next generation of high-level thinkers to deal with nostalgia the survivalists prefer, and then society can take off with incredible force I can't. The average person today would be a survivalist, I'm not the forerunner whose job is to think of people. The other image of a future is to have robots do literally everything, and cross your fingers.
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