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[shwippie]

My first game- It's free and a fairly quick play. Any critique or feedback will be loved and cherished!

Windows
Download : http://www.mediafire.com/?t7svc415d1sai8i
(extract and run the .exe file)

Mac
Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?8cncfq8yi3ybfby

Linux
Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?4ae1c3l5fk71b87

Story-Somehow you've ended up in an alternate universe where Santa is an actual postal worker and where bad tofu gets put in jail. It seems you've arrived just in time to take part in a dating game show hosted by a two inch tall cream puff. You're the main contestant, and your potential dates appear to be human, but they're a little weird. It's your chance to question, court, and maybe even insult your way to true love and find out who is your best match!

Playtime: 10 min.
Possible Endings: 5
Ages: All
Language: English

Youtube demo:

[MaloEspada]

the thing i liked the most in this game was shwippie

i didn't like the girl and i'm not into.. boys
i chose the girl in the end, but i think she is a bit dumb.

shwippie's voice is cute too. cream puffs forever

[shwippie]

the thing i liked the most in this game was shwippie

i didn't like the girl and i'm not into.. boys
i chose the girl in the end, but i think she is a bit dumb.

shwippie's voice is cute too. cream puffs forever

Thanks for the feedback! I can understand how she comes across as dumb- I was going for humor with that, but I guess it can be a turn-off. I also can see that it's a downside having only one option for each gender; I personally play for the fun of getting all the endings and disregard gender when I play other games so thought I could get away with it haha 

[kidchameleon]

The art was first class, also I found it very funny. A very well produced game. The only problem I had was, I found it confusing selecting which person to ask the questions to.

[shwippie]

The art was first class, also I found it very funny. A very well produced game. The only problem I had was, I found it confusing selecting which person to ask the questions to.

Wow thanks for playing! Hmm, okay I'll keep that in mind for future games, although I'm not really sure what to do to make it easier for the player~

[noah!]

Played through it, and I have to say it is a pretty nifty little game! The art is top-notch, the idea is interesting, and the voice acting bits were an unexpectedly pleasant surprise! (though I sorta hoped shwippie would have a big manly announcer voice ;-)

My biggest gripe, however, is that there is so much that this game could offer, yet we're stuck with a dating game. I mean, you've painted an amazing world here; one of the few that has really fascinated me. And the bits and pieces—the uncanny behaviors, the story about Shwinn's ex—have really piqued my interested both in the characters and in the world they live in. And yet, this game merely feels content to remain a straightforward dating sim, forcing questions along and railroading the plot like it is the only way. In a way, it seems like you've hit the polar opposite of most indies' problems; while most take a tired premise and try to stuff as many innovations as possible in it to hide its base origins, you've struck gold with a really fascinating universe and then tried to shoehorn it into a tired premise.

So I don't really know how I feel about this game. It's kind of like when you get really caught up in a movie and then get hit with a downer ending. But don't get me wrong, you've really made something amazing. I guess you could say that the above paragraph is more-or-less a plea to make more games in that universe. Or just make more games in general! :-)

[shwippie]

Played through it, and I have to say it is a pretty nifty little game! The art is top-notch, the idea is interesting, and the voice acting bits were an unexpectedly pleasant surprise! (though I sorta hoped shwippie would have a big manly announcer voice ;-)

My biggest gripe, however, is that there is so much that this game could offer, yet we're stuck with a dating game. I mean, you've painted an amazing world here; one of the few that has really fascinated me. And the bits and pieces—the uncanny behaviors, the story about Shwinn's ex—have really piqued my interested both in the characters and in the world they live in. And yet, this game merely feels content to remain a straightforward dating sim, forcing questions along and railroading the plot like it is the only way. In a way, it seems like you've hit the polar opposite of most indies' problems; while most take a tired premise and try to stuff as many innovations as possible in it to hide its base origins, you've struck gold with a really fascinating universe and then tried to shoehorn it into a tired premise.

So I don't really know how I feel about this game. It's kind of like when you get really caught up in a movie and then get hit with a downer ending. But don't get me wrong, you've really made something amazing. I guess you could say that the above paragraph is more-or-less a plea to make more games in that universe. Or just make more games in general! :-)

Hi Noah- I appreciate the long comment! I hadn't really thought about the premise before, and no one else had brought it up. I do agree with what you're saying, but I'm a little confused about what exactly you mean. Do you have any examples of games that have an unusual premise?

When I talked to people who played dating games, the question answer format was new to them. Do you think that this should veer away from being a visual novel altogether? I want to make a sequel that's more story-based; not question and answer, but where the player can choose the direction it goes, with multiple directions being possible, but even that fits the standard dating sim premise. I definitely want to follow up on your advice, but if you could clarify, that'd be a great help! 

[noah!]

Er, sorry, premise probably wasn't the best word for it. Maybe mechanics? I guess I would contrast it with Ye Olde Puzzle Platformer, where it seems like each one tries desperately to put a new and exciting twist on the same old game, and as a result everything just turns out feeling forced, like it's trying to be something bigger than it actually is. Here, it feels like you tried to squeeze this really cool universe into a five-minute game.

As for disliking the QA format, maybe that's just personal preference. I can't say I'm much of an expert on dating games or VNs or anything of that sort, so maybe the QA format isn't so much a bad thing as it is a differing in taste.

And sorry for answering your question with more vague statements. Honestly I have a hard time clearly understanding myself sometimes. ;-)

[Shiny]

Played through it twice just now. It was almost unbearably cute-- enough so to be funny.

I chose Schwinn the first time, which was okay, but was saddened upon choosing neither...
It could work. You and I, Schwippie. <3

[baconman]

  This was a horrifying experience wrapped in a ribbon of "cutesy."

That said, I think you captured the whole "dating" experience perfectly! XD

[BlueSweatshirt]

I don't have much to say that hasn't been said, but,

I downloaded the game being a bit tentative, and doubting it'd be any good.

To my surprise, that was actually quite refreshing and entertaining! 
Your artwork is great, and the dialog really brought out the characters.

Good job! 

[shwippie]

Noah- Thanks for elaborating on that~ I get what you're talking about now. You bringing this up is actually really inspiring. I mean, it's like finding out I've been inside all this time and now I can go outdoors and explore   I have a lot to think about before the next game.

Shiny- Yay, I'm so glad you played it twice; it was meant for multiple play-throughs   Really? Ohhh mai! I guess we're going out for coffee next Friday.

Baconman- Lol I can't tell if you liked or hated the game from that description XD haha

Jakman- Thanks for giving it a chance! Was it the style that made you tentative? I've heard that the anime style can be a turn off ..and I'm wondering if it's just too girly for some   (but it looks like some guys actually played it, since some of the sns here end in "man"  XD)

[BlueSweatshirt]

No, I like anime and such.

I've never really been into dating sims though. Actually, I had never played on before this.

And yeah I'm a guy 

Don't worry about your style being a turn off-- It's impossible to create a universal crowd pleaser, and doing what you like will probably give you more personal satisfaction and a better product. I really liked your artwork.

[baconman]

Yes, the artwork and general game/engine format were my favorite parts of the experience. Certainly, fleshing it out with more characters with and distinct personalities would improve the experience, or maybe having 3 contenders at a time.

Looking up the "OKCupid Test" (and the ensuing results screen, which fleshes out all of the result types) could provide you with a good assortment of character inspirations. That's really all that limits the "playability" here, aside from (possibly?) a number of inside jokes that I, admittedly, don't totally get.

[umezono]

The art style is okay but I don't like the story. Overall, it's a good use of the renpy system but lacking in the story department.

[StudioFortress]

I really liked this. A few things...

• In one of the early paragraphs of text there is a space missing after a full stop.
• When selecting which character to ask, it would be nice if you could select by clicking directly on them rather then by selecting their name from a list.
• I noticed in the game files that the backgrounds in the artwork are repeated in lots of the pictures. If you seperated backgrounds from the characters then you could remove a good chunk of disk space.
• You should add some slight animations for when you leave the game doing nothing (not move loads, like just once a minute).
• Most of the guys answers seemed to be related to the girl; I got the impression he was more interested in her then me. If this is deliberate then it's too subtle as it comes across as just a conincidence between answers.
• Too short.
• Should allow the player to select their gender, this would allow you to make the replies more specific (and allow you to have a more accurate ending background).
• Add more characters! (like some milf)

But again I liked it, especially the artwork! Overall it just needs some refinement and _far_ more content.

[shwippie]

Jakman- This is the first one? Don't let it turn you off to other ones XD Yeah, it's true that you can't please everybody. You're right about doing what is personally fun to do. I don't think I would have finished making the game otherwise (from past experience...)

Baconman- I tried out the okcupid thing. It's quite useful! I appreciate the suggestions. I'll try to add in more personalities and leave out the inside jokes next time around.

Umezono- I'll be focusing on story the next time  I just wanted to make something simple for my first game. Thanks for the feedback!

Studiofortress- Yes, I definitely realize that the punctuation is a problem throughout. What a clever idea to choose characters by clicking on them! Why didn't I think of that? @_@ I agree about separating the backgrounds. This was a newbie mistake. I also never would have thought about adding slight animations...Really, all of your advice is extremely helpful to me. Thank you! I'm going to tackle something longer with more content for my second try  And I'll be taking your suggestion to heart.

[Gurbble]

Very interesting game. Is this one in a series? When can we expect the next one to come out? 
Thank you for sharing the game with us.

[shwippie]

Very interesting game. Is this one in a series? When can we expect the next one to come out? 
Thank you for sharing the game with us.

I hope to make a sequel  Thanks for trying it out!

[baconman]

Also... Happy Endings, you tease! (Or at least bittersweet, awkward, badly-attempted "happy endings...") It sucks playing a dating sim game that doesn't metamorphasize into a borderline Hentai game.

Finally, you should look up "True Love" (aka True Love '95), and play through that a few times. If you're lucky, you'll get the jist of what I'm getting at. I'm not usually one for games like that, but it's interesting and compelling enough beyond the usual reasons, and you'll only find out why by tinkering with it.