|
Title: [removed] Post by: TheShard1994 on August 18, 2012, 05:47:25 AM ~cut~
Title: Re: Criticise my Poems Post by: Capntastic on August 30, 2012, 02:19:29 PM Saying you only wrote a poem in 15 minutes or so isn't the sort of thing that inspires anyone to want to get hyped for it.
Either way, to put this lightly, you need to stop telling exactly what you mean and maybe use some actual poetry to evoke things. Edit: I apologize for being terse with this. To be more clear, when you say things such as "like a Summer Breeze", you're basically cutting around the actual fun of evoking a Summer Breeze. “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” – Anton Chekhov (1860–1904) Title: Re: Criticise my Poems Post by: EvilASh on September 03, 2012, 02:03:48 PM Somebody asked me if I ever wrote a poem for my ex, so I did.
To my ex: I haven't seen you in a while. My soul just one desire emits: To see again your perfect smile And put my face between your tits. |