i think there are many factors that are responsible for the whole issue.
here are two big ones:
1.) GAME = PERSONALif you have made a game it means that it is something personal to you because you have put a certain amount of time, energy and passion into it. now when you tell other people about it you know consciously or unconsciously that you will be judged.
this leads to fear of rejection. (when you market a game for someone else this personal element is not there... and therefore it may be easy for yout o recommend games of other devs)
so you have to learn to not take it personal if people should smash your game (i know it might be not that easy because it is something very personal for you)
it is not yourself that is judged but rather a work by yourself.
so maybe it holds you back to tell others about your game because you think internally it is not that good...
either you just imagine that the game isn't good because you may be a little bit perfectionistic to a certain degree...
or the game is objectively really not that good because it is not polished enough.
in this case consider to ask for feedback in order to improve the game.
so that you will feel confident about it once it has reached a certain level of polish.
but what does it mean when someone says completely out of the blue that the game is shit. well, it may not be about the game itself but rather about the speaker.
on the other hand if the feedback should provide some useful information in a harsh tone don't ignore it just because of the way the info is delivered. filter it and look at the info objectively. maybe you could implement the ideas to improve the game.
anyway there are still dozens of possible reasons why someone might not like your game.
some may just dont like the genre, some may just dont like the graphics style,
some may just dont like indie games or games at all for whatever reason etc.
2.) IMAGE OF MARKETINGwhen people hear about marketing they think about lying, exaggerating and other dishonest stuff. so theres a lot of bad stuff linked to that word. this makes it pretty hard for people to market their game because they think when they market their game they will have to be a bad scammy guy...they think they would have to act like someone else. to sell their personality etc.
this leads to internal battles.
youo dont have to annoy people that aren't interested in (indie) games and try to convince them to buy your stuff.
you need to have clarity here:
you have to know what exactly dishonest behaviour is.
by thinking about this topic and figuring it out you then can consciously decide to not go that way.
instead be honest, congruent and tell people about your game in an appropriate way.
informing the right people that want to hear about your game is good.
in fact that very people do want to hear from your game.
BUT WHO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE INTERESTED?video game sites, especially indie game sites do want to hear from your game. yes there are people that are actually happy when they will be informed about a good game. it saves them time to search for it by themselves and also provides fun (in case the game is good)
also indie gamers themselves are also potentially interested in your creations of course (depends on what stuff they prefer of course).
in order to find a good amount of sites that you could inform about your work i recommend to check out
the big list of indie game sites for that matter.
HOW TO TELL ABOUT GAME?tell them in an appropriate manner about it.
lay out the facts. provide a short and to the point description what the game is about (1-2 sentences) and add a link to a gameplay video, screenshots and demo. also consider to link to a little press kit (screenshots, logo, info etc) that they could use.
but remember keep the mail short and precise. write no novel. no clutter. quantity of words doesnt mean quality you know. communicate effectively.
a wall of text that doesnt help the reader in his decision making process isnt worthwhile. i mean it is a game. people want to play a game and not read lengthy essays about it.
again: short description that gets the reader interested and then some essential stuff like screenshots / video to engage one to download the demo.
keep it simple.
...but the media doesnt respond? well depending on the size of the site they might get dozens or even hundred of daily mails. so it is not possible to respond to everyone.
if they do respond it might take a while...
and sometimes they respond by just featuring your game
CONCLUSION:see? this behaviour is neither scammy nore dishonest.
why? because you dont steal peoples time that dont want to hear about your stuff and also dont lie. moreover you also dont waste your own time by doing that.
you just let them know that your game exists and then let the gameplay video / screenshots / demo speak for itself.
when the video gets them interested they probably will try out the demo...
and when they like the demo they might either buy it and / or write a review or tell other about it.
WHAT ELSE?educate yourself about that topic. consider to go to the library and rent some good books there. (amazon might help you with your decisions).
i have also collected useful
links about marketing in a list over at pixel prospector.