Latest posts of: trurkowski

Mine is Chief King Tortoise: Maritius the Crabby

Maritius was a tortoise like no other. He was abandoned as a child and had been discovered by a wild pack of crabs.

After adopting Maritius as their own he was able to rise within the ranks of crabdom all the way to the elite. These elite were called "The Insufferably Cranky".

Hours later (after becoming bored) he accidentally massacring the very pack of crabs that raised him; he decided to go and search for his original family. After traveling through the cold mountains of Astrochelys nearly getting entirely frozenified by an eerie blizzard.

Luckily there was a team of tortoise warriors investigating nearby, as even though they were near a mountain, the last time they saw a blizzard this fierce was when Astrochelys himself tried to take over the kingdom.

After riding Maritius all of the way down the snowy mountain, they place him near a fire to reheat him. As Maritius awoke in a Tortoise village, he simply didn't know how to react. He did not fit into this society, for he was raised by crabs.

Their social norms just seemed bizzarre to him. Everyone walked forwards instead of sideways, they didn't constantly nip at each other with their claws, and they dug holes at a downward slope rather than vertically. He was treated like an outcast, and decided to join the warriors who saved his life.

Edit:

Needless to say the first mission of these Tortoises (nicknamed the Tanks of Tamural) was to climb back and investigate the cave of chills on the top of the mountain.
(To prepare for this journey they put on their scarves to protect them from the cold)

As they reached the cave they heard a great HISSSSSSSSSSSS warning them "Leave immediately, never return" The Tanks haphazardly entered only to be greeted by a GIANT SEA TURTLE! This sea turtle claimed to be Astrochelys who had been honing his icy powers in the cave for decades, waiting for the right moment to take over the tortoise kingdom.

After he described his plan to the Tanks, he began picking them off one by one with his ICE BEAM EYES! Each and every one of the tanks tried to shuffle out of the way but each tortoise was frozen in place, that is except for Maritius. You see, Maritius was the only one who was able to crab walk out of the way of the beam. This sidestepping allowed him to dodge Astrochelys' beam each and every time.

Maritius slowly sidestepped his way towards Astrochelys until he was within (mouth)pinching range. After a small skirmish Maritius was able to bite the nose of Astrochelys so hard that his nostrils were sealed and could not function. Astrochelys SHRIEKED in agony and pounded the ground with his arms; causing a giant chunk of ice (conveniently directly above him) to crush his shell and kill him.

After realizing the extent of the damage done, Maritius pushed each of the tanks down the mountain towards the town.

Later that night, after everyone had sufficiently defrosted, they celebrated by making turtle soup from the remains of Astrochelys. After the festivities, the townsfolk banded together and crowned Maritius KING OF TORTOISES.

Anyway Post your favorite tortoise! lets see how long we can make this list!