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Someone coming to a video game Kickstarter page has four questions in his mind:
1. What is this game?
2. Why should I care?
3. Why is this creator the ONLY one capable of making this game?
4. Why can't this game get made without my backing?
As the creator, it's your job to provide satisfying answers to those questions, and everything else on your campaign page-- your copy, screenshots, video-- should be in support of this.
So, with that in mind, let's take on those questions one-by-one.
1. "What is this game?"
An easy way that I test this is to scan the page for about 15 seconds, scrub through a bit of the video, and then close the browser tab. Then, I try to jot down everything I can remember about the game. What I came up with:
- 1-4 player action-adventure dungeon crawler
- Pretty strong retro pixel art, cartoon-style
- Big spider
- ...
- ...literally nothing else
Now, I had the added advantage of reading your post here prior to going to the KS page (most of your other visitors won't), and 15 seconds of time spent on the KS page is being generous (most visitors will bounce from a page even faster if something doesn't grab them immediately).
So the question becomes, did your page effectively communicate to me the most important points about your game in that time? If you tell me that, "yes, it has," then I'll tell you that it's pretty much indistinguishable from a dozen other games I've seen in the last month on crowdfunding sites, TIG, itchio, Twitter, Reddit, etc. etc. You've told me nothing about what makes this game unique or exciting, or why it's worth my interest or my dollars. Even the name, Attack of the Labyrinth, is both cliched and nonsensical. Unless I bookmark this page, I'll forget it by tomorrow. It evokes no strong feeling, excitement, or interest whatsoever.
Which brings us to question 2.
2. "Why should I care?"
I think I just explained this well enough, but let me add this: there's a typo in your project description. As of writing, your campaign has been live for five days. If you don't care enough to find and fix the typo in five days, how can you expect anyone else to care about your project?
3. "Why is this creator the ONLY one capable of making this game?"
This is one you're obviously struggling with on a personal level, and I can empathize with that. On your very short campaign page, I count no fewer than a dozen instances of "wishy-washy" language.
- "My hope is..."
- "Features I hope to add..."
- "If somehow this project exceeds its goal..."
It's okay to not be 100% certain about some things. It's okay to show some level of vulnerability. But your constant self-doubt threaded through every section of the campaign page breeds uncertainty in my own mind that, even if you do somehow reach your funding goal, you'll be able to satisfyingly deliver on this project.
It's for this reason that your 'Risks and Challenges' section is an absolute nightmare. Why are you admitting to all the things you can't do? About all the problems you might have? Even if you aren't a "star programmer," you don't need to admit to that here. What you need to do is say, yes, there might be obstacles along the way, but you can be sure that I'll overcome each one of them. Yes, maybe I don't possess every bit of knowledge necessary to build this thing, but I'm learning as I go, and will figure out whatever is necessary to make the game a great experience for anyone who plays it.
Again, if you're hoping to attract backers, you need to make them believe that you're capable of delivering on your campaign promises, and I don't think I've ever seen a KS campaign that made me more doubtful of that (and I've looked at a lot of them). Take your own advice here: Be Strong, or Perish!
4. "Why can't this game get made without my backing?"
You're 2/3 through development on the game, and you've been working on it for 2 months. At that rate, you could have just skipped the Kickstarter and been done with development by the time the campaign would have ended. There's literally nothing on this page that leads me to believe you need even a modest $2,500 to incorporate the features that you list here. Pass.
As I said in this post's preface, I haven't played the game. Maybe it controls amazingly well, or has a core gameplay loop that's immensely satisfying, or is doing something incredibly unique that I'm just not seeing. But if any of those things are true, you're 100% failing to convince me through your marketing.
I want you to know that I'm only trying to offer some constructive criticism for your consideration, as someone who has spent hundreds of hours analyzing other KS and crowdfunding campaigns and the games that they're supporting. My only hope is, if you continue to believe in your own potential and the potential of this project, that this post encourages you to continue to refine your game and think about how you might better help it to find its audience.
