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[Alistair Aitcheson]

I'm working on the title screen for my iPhone game, and have been drawing the background. Here's what I've drawn so far:



The image is sized so that it fits onto three iPhone screens. Selecting different menu options will pan the image left and right. For example, this is how it currently looks in the prototype of the game:



I'm not happy with how it looks at the moment. I feel it's a bit messy and visually complicated. Any ideas what I could do to improve it?

[caffeine]

Maybe you should clean up the image? It looks very much like a sketch to me at this point.

[namre]

Yeah, I kinda agree with green. That is unless, that's the style you're going for in your game.

Also, put more detail on the gold stacks found on the background. At first glance they look like a blob that doesn't resemble hard and rigid blocks.

Another thing is maybe make use of varying line weights. This way the drawing doesn't look too flat.

Cheers!

[speeder]

The door would look better with a "ship steering wheel" handle on it instead of that futuristic lock that is hard to light correctly.

And also what everyone previously said.

If your intention is a light hearted style, the "messy" look with lots of random objects is fine, if you want to make it look austere, and "cold" or even evil, it would be better to remove most of the objects and give detail to the gold bars in the racks.

[Alistair Aitcheson]

Thanks, guys, this is really helpful

Could you clarify a little on what you mean by cleaning it up? What specifically about it makes it look untidy and/or sketchlike?

[caffeine]

The lines in your image look too "sketchy" for my taste. And the fact that some objects do have an outline and some don't kinda bothers me.

I quickly painted a moneybag to illustrate what could be improved.

[jotapeh]

IMO, The biggest problem is where the colour spills out from objects, such as in the "GREEDY BANKERS" logo. I feel this takes it from intentionally sketchy to seemingly slightly splotchy.

Perspective is also kinda crazy in that 'inside the vault' image, but that's not such a big deal.

[speeder]

Green quick painting whoop my ass.

D:

But I am a coder, not a artist...

[moi]

fix the perspective

[JMickle]

..use less colours? the busy-ness for me comes from having to look at RED diamonds and GOLD bars and GREEN money and the BLUE safe etc. there are a lot of primary colours (3 in fact lol). I think if you cut down on how many there were it would look less busy and more like a background.

[Alistair Aitcheson]

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone, I appreciate this all very much!

I'm going to try editing it a bit more tomorrow morning, and put your recommendations into practice. I really like the idea of varying line weights. I might try to vary some of the colours a bit more to increase depth. Would making the further-back parts less saturated give a greater sense of depth?

I'll put a bit more outlining on the gold blocks in the background too.

When you talk about it being sketchy are you talking about the wobbly lines and colours going outside the outlines? This wasn't intentional, so if making these lines a bit more straight and tidy should improve things I'll give that a shot.

If there's other things that make them look sketchy could you point them out to me? That'd be very helpful, as I feel the picture looks generally pretty untidy but I can't pick out what's making it look that way.

Thanks very much for the drawing, Green. I can see some bits of the moneybag drawings that don't quite look right yet (for example, the bunching on the top). I notice that your lines are tapered and have different widths in different places, whereas my lines are all fixed-width. Is that what you were trying to point out with your drawing?

Finally, I've fixed the colour-spill from the title logo, and I've changed the outline on the logo to make it darker. I also reduced the saturation on the background in order to make the title stand out more. I'll make the bigger changes you've all suggested tomorrow, but for now does this look like it works a bit nicer?



For the sake of reference, here's the background drawing with the saturation pulled down a notch:

[Alistair Aitcheson]

I can see where JMickle's coming from about the colours, and that is certainly food for thought. I'll think through and see if I can make the range of colours a bit less busy.

[namre]

Also, how big is your is your actual image? Drawing on a big canvas would allow your drawing to have more detail. Then afterwards, you could just scale the size of the image down to your preferred sizes.

Cheers :D

[Alistair Aitcheson]

Also, how big is your is your actual image? Drawing on a big canvas would allow your drawing to have more detail. Then afterwards, you could just scale the size of the image down to your preferred sizes.

I'm drawing on a 3840 x 1920 canvas and scaling down for the game

[Alistair Aitcheson]

This morning I played around with the image a bit more. I tidied up some of the line work and the colouring, particularly on the door. Do you think it needs more tidying in other places?



When I drew the image I used varied layer types to build up light and shadows, but I used a fairly large brush to do this, which is why some of it looks a bit splotchy. If there's any more splotchy bits I'll probably tidy them up too if you think it's done a good job. I also (just this minute) noticed the corners of the room look really wobbly, so I'll fix that in the next version.

I also made some thicker lines on the front-most moneybags and some of the coins, jewels and banknotes, and made the lines on the door-frame thinner. I should do that with the shelves as well. I made the banknotes more of a blue-ish green. I also played with the saturation, making the objects closer to the viewer more saturated, and the ones further away less saturated.

Finally, I couldn't work out what to do with the stacks of gold in the background. I tried adding in some brick outlines, but I think adding too much outline would make it too complicated and draw attention away from the foreground. Perhaps I need to draw something else in there, or redraw some bricks from scratch. In the meantime, I've taken the outlines away from the stacks of gold, so they now look a bit more nondescript. I don't know if this makes much improvement.

Is the drawing starting to look better now?

EDIT: Just noticed how horrible the shelves look. Very wobbly and they have big red splotches on them... 

[namre]

Yep, the drawing looks a little better. It's a rule of thumb that the more closer an object is, the thicker its line is.

Another tip is that not all lines need to be black all the time :D

Goodluck!

[Alistair Aitcheson]

Next version. I made the shelves less wobbly and changed the stacks of gold. Any improvements?

Another tip is that not all lines need to be black all the time :D

Good point. I guess I hadn't really given it much thought before, but it makes sense

[jotapeh]

The lines are getting much cleaner, but this brings the perspective of the gold on the side shelves into focus and it's rather off... the stack of gold bars on the floor are kind of hurting too.

I'd also 'lower' the left shelf to meet the corner of the left wall next to the door too.

BTW the different currencies on the bags is kind of hilarious and a nice touch.

[Alistair Aitcheson]

The lines are getting much cleaner, but this brings the perspective of the gold on the side shelves into focus and it's rather off... the stack of gold bars on the floor are kind of hurting too.

I'd also 'lower' the left shelf to meet the corner of the left wall next to the door too.

BTW the different currencies on the bags is kind of hilarious and a nice touch.

Thanks for pointing that out - I'll see what I can do Glad you like the currencies too!

[namre]

Aha! It's improving! Keep it up!

Quote from: Accidental Rebel on Today at 04:32:55 AM
Another tip is that not all lines need to be black all the time :D

Good point. I guess I hadn't really given it much thought before, but it makes sense

Yeah, try to experiment with non-black outlines. To get the correct color for an outline, just get the base color of the object and make it a little darker. So if the object is colored brown, for example, get a darker brown for the outline.

Also, the gold blocks on the shelves and the ones on the floor are of a different color. You might want to use a similar color with a different shade :D

Goodluck!