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[namre]

Hi guys! Aik and I have been working on our tig compo versus submission which you can read more about here.

We wanted a new art style in the vein of Grim Grimoire or Muramasa, so I cooked up a new character concept. Here's what I came up with:

Original:

Edited:

Latest edit with color and a change of hairstyle:

Take note I don't want to copy the style completely, I still want to inject my own style to the character design.

Comments and suggestions are welcome. Feel free to comment on the costume, the anatomy, anything.

Cheers!

[thedaemon]

It's a witch!! Burn her!!

Where is her left elbow? Hair over right side of face takes away from the contour of her shape to me. Is that a string holding her hat on?  What's she doing with her right hand? Try a more interesting hand pose. The mouth is also very tiny. Where is the thickness of the brim of her hat? Looks 2d. The pose is pretty solid but you could probably get away with shifting her weight more to compensate for the heavy book.

[namre]

There I got her! Hand me the rope!

Her left elbow is bent backwards that's why it isn't showing. Check how she is holding the book.
Re: hair on right side. I believe that this will not be much of a problem once I color it. Will keep in mind though.
She's actually casting a spell. Didn't bother drawing the spell though.
Yes, thickness is a good observation. Will try add more thickness.

Thanks for your comments!

[yokomeshi]

Well, I have a couple minor suggestions:

First, the dagger/whatsit hanging at her hip seems to be hanging the wrong way - it seems to me the handle should be pointing sort of, um, northwest, if you see what I mean. Towards her right hand.  As it is it looks like she put her belt on backwards.

Second, how does the front of her coat work?  Above the belt it looks like the right side is layered over the left, but below the belt they're... sort of... switched... it's hard to explain.  Here, I tried a little paint-over kind of thing:


Hope this helps

[namre]

Oh yeah!

The dagger thing was something I've added without me thinking too much. And yes, now that you've mentioned it, it really does seem that it is not pointing the right way. Will try to edit that one.

Thank you for pointing out the coat. My initial design wasn't really feasible if you take off the belt. Your edit is better.

Thank you, yokomeshi. Much appreciated.

[namre]

Updated the image with the following changes:
- Edited the costume
- Removed the wand hanging on the side
- Moved the lower torso nearer to the upper torso (She looks much shorter now)
- Made her ears smaller just a bit
- Rotated the upper torso to shift her weight a little
- Added a more depth to the brim of the hat

Thank you all to those who left their comments. Updated the image.

[ASnogarD]

If possible could you rather have the original AND the updated copy on the first post, to help us who come after the fact to see how the advise impacted the art, and hopefully learn something.

My impression of the image as it stands is that the expression is odd for a witch casting a spell, not sure if she is sad because she has to cast the spell at a human, aprehensive if the spell will actually work , or did something make he sad so she needs to cast some spell ?
Her pose suggests she is confidant, but her expression says she is aprehensive / hesitant.
Its hard for me to describe, just a fleeting impression I get looking at her.
I would suggest you play around with the mouth , maybe haveing a closed mouth would enforce the confidant stance ?

[namre]

Updated the first post with the original copy.

I think it has also to do with the overall facial expression. Like the brows. And yes, maybe the mouth. Will try to play around with it and see what I can come up with.

Thanks!

[namre]

Ok. Did a couple of changes as per suggestion of ASnogarD and it turned out great.

First thing I changed is the facial expression. I moved the eyebrows to make her look more angrier. Opened her mouth a little as though she's chanting something.

I have also lifted her arms making her look more aggressive with her casting.

Again, thanks to all those who commented. Keep em coming!

[P-Flute]

Design crits?  IT IS ON. 

The short sleeve cloak-thing I can dig, but I feel like the current length of the gloves is a little awkward both in the space between glove and sleeve and the connotation they currently have (sort of lab-cleaning rubber gloves right now).  I'd experiment a bit there; maybe ending them just a smidge past the wrist instead, like a short pair of winter gloves, or some kind of wrist warmer thingies.  Long gloves might bridge the gap, but would make the amount of skin showing a bit disproportionate.

The glasses you had originally were a little weak, but I think they could add a deal of flavor to the character with the right specs.  Have you tried any other kinds?  Stereotypical perfectly round huge (or tiny) specs just might be awesome here.

Also: Curly elf boots?  I'll admit I'm not a big fan of them in the first place, but I don't feel like they're doing anything for the design right now; neither the curl nor the V top to the boots seem to be working well.  I'd probably go with a pointed toe boot if you want to explore that area, and make the V less dramatic (bit more like the top of a cowboy boot?) or get rid of it altogether.

Also, I'd spread a few of your details around to make it a little more cohesive.  Spread the ribbon around her neck in a few other places (edge of socks/gloves?) or do the same with the belt buckle.  Though that might raise some eyebrows.  Unify.  I'd also try and keep the feather/jewel thing in her hat feeling unique, as it seems like a good focal point for the design.

Of course this is all a bit subjective.  If you wanted to keep, say, the boots, you could just improve them by trying to get them synced up with the soft curves of her hair.  In any case, enjoy the wall of text.  If you'd like I could fire up the tablet and have a go with that, as well. 
 

[namre]

Hey thanks, P-Flute.

I've already done a number of changes to the drawing but haven't really updated this thread. I still welcome your comments though as I really like to learn more.

I'd experiment a bit there; maybe ending them just a smidge past the wrist instead, like a short pair of winter gloves, or some kind of wrist warmer thingies.  Long gloves might bridge the gap, but would make the amount of skin showing a bit disproportionate.

Yeah, I've already changed the gloves to those wrist warmer thingies but with the same fabric.

The glasses you had originally were a little weak, but I think they could add a deal of flavor to the character with the right specs.  Have you tried any other kinds?

I only had one try with the glasses. We had to remove it as per request by my partner.

Also: Curly elf boots? 

Yeah, I've changed that as well. Lol.

Though that might raise some eyebrows.  Unify.  I'd also try and keep the feather/jewel thing in her hat feeling unique, as it seems like a good focal point for the design.

Thank you for this. I might just do that.

If you'd like I could fire up the tablet and have a go with that, as well.

Sure, I don't really mind. I might pick up a thing or two.

Cheers!

[P-Flute]

Sorry for the lazy quality of the thing.  I messed with some of the things I noted, also redrew the ear as it seems to have been a little small.



Really, I couldn't stay away from the chunkier boots.  Spread some of the details around, ribbons here and there, obligatory buckles on boots.

Also, if I neglected to mention, I do like the design thus far!  Can't wait to see all those little updates. :D 

[unsilentwill]

I went a little overboard on this one, probably because of my bias against anime. So I made a little lesson on posing and anatomy.

I assume she's casting a spell, but I guess she could be throwing a ball. There's not much energy there, and everything except the head is straight on in view.

So here's a stick with a motion line, it's a tall fit female (all important things to think about) doing a quick pivot and reaching out to shooting off a fairly powerful spell to her side, hips tilted away to keep feet firmly planted, arching her back a bit.

Then it gets complcated. You have a lot of floppy cloth and hair to deal with, leading to a lot of folds.

Refining shadows and details.

Uh that was not helpful commentary, and I almost completely ignored the current style. I'm sorry, I have a headache. But hopefully you can take something from the energy, foreshortening, pose, and more realistic cloth rather than starting with a school girl uniform and giving it a coat and hat and calling it a day. Think about what the witch would actually be wearing.

[namre]

Yeah, I was aware of the awkward posing and have already changed it.

Here's the latest version:


Also, you might notice the change in haristyle. The reason for this change is because when I tried doing the animations, it was the hair that was always a pain to work on.

I almost completely ignored the current style. I'm sorry

It's okay. :D

But hopefully you can take something from the energy, foreshortening, pose, and more realistic cloth rather than starting with a school girl uniform and giving it a coat and hat and calling it a day. Think about what the witch would actually be wearing.

The schoolgirl uniform was actually something we wanted to have as we wanted the setting to be in a magic school or some sort. We wanted this fact to be easily recognizable. Hence the decision for having such a costume.

Although I agree I should have done more to the costume design, I felt that I was too pressed for time because of the compo that I had to decide early.

As for the art style being anime, it's a taste that my programmer and I had in common. We just had to do it. :D

Really, I couldn't stay away from the chunkier boots.  Spread some of the details around, ribbons here and there, obligatory buckles on boots.

Those boots look a little too bulky for a witch that is typically wears light clothing. But thanks for pointing out the awkward looking elf boots.

As for the ribbons and other stuff, I might add them. But since this artwork would be reduced to a small sprite, the details will be too small to be noticeable.

Thanks to all your comments and suggestions. Much appreciated.