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[shig]

its a pretty average shooter with loads of content and dated graphics

i believe a completely neutral reviewer would give it around 5/10. anyone who gives it more than 6/10 is a fan of the old duke and anyone who gives it below 4/10 is an oversensitive wiener - "oh no objectified women, tits and crude jokes !!!"

[AshfordPride]

"oh no objectified women, tits and crude jokes !!!"

Stretch that out into ten minutes and you could write next weeks episode of Extra Credits.  

Edit: And the Game Overthinker

Edit:Edit: And Sexyvideogameland

Edit:Edit:Edit: And a few Kotaku articles if their spine wasn't worth more to them than having to pay for some video games.

Edit:Edit:Edit:Edit: You know what, it may just be easier to list the prominent internet schmucks who aren't going to have something to say about this.

[shig]

In summary: 90% of "new games journalists".

oh hey your last edit beat me to the punch

[Uykered]

http://www.george-orwell.org/Confessions_of_a_Book_Reviewer/0.html

[Derek]

Goddamn, reading the last three posts just gave me Insomnia PTSD flashbacks. ;-)

Anyway, from what I've played so far, the Rock, Paper, Shotgun review seems pretty spot on:

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/06/13/wot-i-think-duke-nukem-forever/

I didn't have high expectations for DNF, but it's a reeeally mediocre game. I'll probably keep playing it intermittently, though, because there is this surreal quality to it due to its long history and development.

[Trevor Dunbar]

The problem with this game is it's not constant run and gun action like Duke3d. The levels have terrible pacing, there are no secrets, everything is linear. I miss just running around levels Doom 2 style and trying to survive to the end.

The entire game is made up of really crappy looking parts and really wonderful looking parts. Some of the shading on some textures is really impressive, then at the same time you have god-AWFUL looking levels with blurry boring textures and bad lighting. Argh.

Some of the humor is genuinely funny, then some of the humor is funny because its so offensive or over-the-top.

All around it's a very mediocre game, not the best, not the worst.


Critics who think this is the worst game ever made (basically) really need a slap on the wrist and just need to look at the game objectively and not take its history into consideration (if they are not reviewing the 360 version that is). They also need to see the PC version dosn't suffer from the awful load times or blurry textures that plague the xbox version.

[shig]

Goddamn, reading the last three posts just gave me Insomnia PTSD flashbacks. ;-)

lol

[Tuba]

The problem with this game is it's not constant run and gun action like Duke3d. The levels have terrible pacing, there are no secrets, everything is linear. I miss just running around levels Doom 2 style and trying to survive to the end.

That´s a problem on all the first person shooters nowadays, not just Duke. I miss the days when FPSs had secret areas and stuff to explore.

Put 3 hours in it and what I'm feeling is that the developers got an old school FPS and tried to make it more modern, and that's a big part of what ruins the game, you can see that a lot of things simply doesn't fit, would be a lot better if they just accepted and launched it as an old school FPS.

Also, what´s wrong with the people that designed the controls for this thing? Buttons 2 and 3 for grenades? All the time I press it thinking my weapon will be switched for it and I'll be able to throw it not that I'll throw it right away, so damn confusing and frustrating... specially when killing a boss depends on it (because someone thought that it would be cool if bosses where affected only by explosives) :/

[Türbo Bröther]

Well, it's no Daikatana that's for sure and you can discern that much from just watching videos. So it could have been a lot worse.

[Okenido]

I'd say they're around the same level.

[Hangedman]

It's a poor attempt to amalgamate modern graphics with classical graphical inspiration.
It's a poor attempt to combine modern shooter mechanics with classical shooter mechanics.
It's a poor attempt to cash in on misinterpreted nostalgia.

But DNF is functional, if disappointing. So it has Daikatana beat on that. It tries, so to speak. It just tries too hard, instead of not hard enough.

Calling it worse than a buggy unplayable game is outright nonsense. It's just not what was expected, what was wanted, or what was promised. It's just not that great. Still not terrible outright.

And if someone thinks it's all-round terrible because of the stupid puerile content, then they need to remove that stick and find a better use for it

[Okenido]

Both were delayed often.
Both were hyped.
The advertising implied that you were about to become somebody's bitch.
Both have dull level design.
Both ruined a once semi-decent name. (Ironically the same people that were implied to make you their bitch.)

Silly comparisons aside, I still think that Duke Nukem Forever is around the entertainment value of Daikatana if you ignore latter's buggy demo.

Just stick with Duke Nukem 3D's modding community if you want more Duke.

[PowRTocH]

I'm going to buy this game just because I hate the kind of people who hate this game

[Okenido]

I'm going to buy this game just because I hate the kind of people who hate this game

Glad the feeling is mutual.

Have fun wasting sixty dollars on a stupid statement of hatred.

[PowRTocH]

Have fun being coming up with ways to express your outrage over this game on the internet.

[Danmark]

[Daikatana] ruined a once semi-decent name. (Ironically the same people that were implied to make you their bitch.)

So Romero was a merely semi-decent name? I've spoken to him, and it's clear that "make you his bitch... suck it down" was facetious.

This is my interpretation, not his. But what happened is that a bunch of sensitive, limp-wristed armchair moralists took the advertisement to heart, and rallied against Romero, destroying his reputation. For this reason, more so than the creative and commercial failure of Daikatana, Romero no longer pursues his passion of first-person shooters. Lacking one of its greatest minds, the genre is weakened.

[cullinaire]

Indeed. The way people went after him (Romanian gf and all) you'd have thought he was an elected official or hollywood actor.

[William Broom]

All I can say is that the voice actor for Duke is atrocious... I wouldn't hire him for a high school drama production, let alone a videogame which is supposed to hinge on the personality of its main character...

[capn.lee]

I think the game deserves these reviews but it isn't fair that other, equally crappy games get away with it; this game is easily the equal of homefront or mirror's edge. I'd like to see more realistic reviews in the future, but I can't help but think that this is a one-off and that next month those reviewers will be back to giving forgettable, cookie-cutter games 7/10 as long as they came from a large publisher

[Mipe]

For a game that was whole 12 years in development, Duke Nukem Forever leaves much to be desired. Mean reviews? All deserved.

And yes, I've played it. Wish I hadn't fallen for the hype.

See, people, hype sells. Million copies sold? All thanks to the hype.