increpare: instead of (or in addition) doubling up the strings with the timpani near the end of the first section, double up the strings with themselves
hmm, I hope that you were listening to my piece. I don't have any timpani parts; I am doubling the bass part an octave up with the cello ... exactly as you suggested.
Oops. If not timpani, then some other percussion part then going along with the stringy rhythmic pattern towards the end of the first part, anyway. (Also I'm listning to this on laptop speakers, so there's a good chance if anything is doubled an octave lower I amn't picking up on it
). I had in my mind doubling the line with another an octave/whatever higher, but whatever.
Isn't that the default generic way to write cello/bass?
In many styles it is, yeah.
In terms of the bass line itself, you're right it IS a little harsh. I move by a tritone in at least one place, but I like that sound. Also, since two flatted-fifth chords are used in the harmony, I think that moving by a flatted fifth sits well with the harmonies.
I hope you are not confusing tritones and flattened fifths
(If anything, I felt a little like, though it was harmonically relatively tasty, that it was a bit similar all the way through, that it could have done with, at one or two moments, even crunchier harmonies still ... )
Still, I hear what you're saying about the bass line; it could definitely be refined!
I think the bits that I felt were weaker weren't the dissonant bits, but rather...hmm...*listens again*... the short bass note at 0:30 was the one that prompted my initial comment, as much as because it's moving in the same direction as the melody as anything else.
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