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October 06, 2022, 02:18:50 AM

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TIGSource ForumsJobsCollaborationsAdventures in TIG, Episode II: The TIGers strike back
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Author Topic: Adventures in TIG, Episode II: The TIGers strike back  (Read 45234 times)
neon
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« Reply #120 on: September 09, 2008, 11:51:12 AM »

the witch winces and disappears in a puff of smoke.

You are now perplexed, confuddled, and bewildered. 

stephen hawking appears and asks you to explain how ATP synthases factor into action  potentials in human nerve cells.  in your befuddled state, this is completely impossible.  he says he will murder you using his mind if you don't answer correctly.  he gives you one college zoology textbook and one hat filled with dijon mustard.   

there are no exits.

you have a TEXTBOOK, a MUSTARD HAT, and a BEWILDERED.

>
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Hideous
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« Reply #121 on: September 09, 2008, 11:57:32 AM »

> use bewildered with mustard hat
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medieval
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« Reply #122 on: September 09, 2008, 11:58:22 AM »

You now have a bewildered in a mustard hat.

You see bubbles coming out of the mustard.
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Dacke
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« Reply #123 on: September 09, 2008, 12:56:27 PM »

> Fill hat with bubbles.
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Valter
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« Reply #124 on: September 09, 2008, 02:43:47 PM »

You can't seem to create any more bubbles in the mustard hat. If only you had more bewildered....
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cyber95
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« Reply #125 on: September 09, 2008, 03:29:11 PM »

>act bewildered at the fact that I can't find any more bewildered
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Valter
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« Reply #126 on: September 09, 2008, 03:47:35 PM »

You get thrown back in Fail-Hell 2 for using tautology.
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andy wolff
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« Reply #127 on: September 09, 2008, 06:10:34 PM »

you however bounce off of Fail-Hell 2 because you didnt read the necessary epithets/epigrams, and because failman is on a vacation.

>
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neon
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« Reply #128 on: September 09, 2008, 06:26:30 PM »

> feel sympathy for the sick panda
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medieval
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« Reply #129 on: September 10, 2008, 12:04:31 PM »

sick panda get!
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Renton
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« Reply #130 on: September 10, 2008, 02:00:38 PM »

> hug sick panda
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neon
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« Reply #131 on: September 10, 2008, 02:45:05 PM »

the sick panda, using its last vestiges of strength, claws your left eye out, as it is mortally afraid of you.  it is a panda, after all.  it then dies.  you now have a LEFT EYE and a DEAD PANDA.

>
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andy wolff
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« Reply #132 on: September 10, 2008, 02:58:06 PM »

>mourn panda by attending a bear farm
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Valter
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« Reply #133 on: September 10, 2008, 04:33:09 PM »

You attend the farm, helping yourself to the lager-grain and the whiskey-tomatoes. You decide to pass by the wine-grapes, but the Tequila-Corn catches your

Wait, fuck, Bear farm. You go to the farm and mourn the panda. Right.
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Dragonmaw
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« Reply #134 on: September 10, 2008, 04:36:25 PM »

>skin panda and wear fresh skin as trophy
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Valter
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« Reply #135 on: September 10, 2008, 04:43:51 PM »

You skin the Panda. As you move to don the skin, though, it starts to strangle you! "Muwahaha!" Says the Dark Panda Necromancer Xkcfulon! "Long have I waited to shed myself of my sickly mortal shell! Now your body is mine! I banish your soul To Fail-Hell 2!"



"Wait, what the fuck? 'On Vacation, be back soon'? Bah! Very well, to Limbo with you!" With a swift gesture, your soul is banished to Limbo.

You are in Limbo. You still have your mustard hat, though.
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Dragonmaw
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« Reply #136 on: September 10, 2008, 04:45:15 PM »

>Dip left eye in mustard and eat it
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Valter
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« Reply #137 on: September 10, 2008, 04:59:08 PM »

You eat the left eye covered in bewildered mustard. Consuming a part of the evil panda mage Xkcfulon has given you celestial powers!

You are in Limbo. You can bend the laws of space and time to your will.

>
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neon
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« Reply #138 on: September 10, 2008, 08:15:02 PM »

> do absolutely nothing with my insane powers, and be perfectly content
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andy wolff
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« Reply #139 on: September 11, 2008, 05:33:59 PM »

you exist for a long time. you see the parallax of eternity pass by you.
then you meet Pun. you have a long and wonderful relationship with Pun, but soon your perfect contentness seems to be insufficient for Pun. she wants passion. her insatiable lust leads her ultimately to leave you, breaking one of your few hearts. in memory of Pun, you go and do Nothing.

you get an "STD"
>
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