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[Ashkin]

>Talk to the flame elemental in the globe. Ask him why he's not doing his job.

[ninto]

>Smash the globe and make a fire

[Jared C]

>Smash the globe and make a fire

You did it. You broke the thing. Great.

>Talk to the flame elemental in the globe. Ask him why he's not doing his job.

Actually, smart-ass, I'm a GIRL. Now stop staring at me like that! You're making all of us uncomfortable. So are you just gonna stand there and ogle at me or are you going to ask something that could SAVE YOUR ASS. It doesn't look like you're doing so hot, Mr.One-Heart-Left!! That is your name, isn't it?

>SAY SOMETHING, SMART-ASS

[Ashkin]

>You're hot.

[MelodiusTwist]

> Gesticulate wildly about your arm-cicles.

[Mikademus]

> Make lewd gestures

[Theophilus]

>Break the 4th wall and yell at everyone

[Jared C]

>You're hot.

> Make lewd gestures

Wait, dude, what are you even doing? Are you really positive you want to be making these gestures? Like, you are starting to freeze over. This might be the last thing you ever do.



Wait, no, THAT was the last thing you will ever do. Was it really worth it?

Welp, that's what you get I guess. Can't say I'm terribly heart-broken or anything.

>BE FOREST

[Jared C]

>BE FOREST

SHHH! HE'S SLEEPING

>_______

[MelodiusTwist]

>WAKE THE FUCK UP. oh and look at that thing out the window.

[Jared C]

>WAKE THE FUCK UP. oh and look at that thing out the window.

Too late, something woke you up before you could wake yourself up!



Before you do anything rash, it is time for your morning ritual. You're Forest Hastings, goddammit! You must tell yourself this every morning as a method of self-identification and NOT GOING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND. The fact that you've stayed alive/sane for this long in a god-forsaken place like this is a miracle in its own right.



You do the thing where you look out the window. Looks like the ice elemental showed up again. You hate that guy! And wait, what's this? Could it be? Gustavo Dudamel! That's where your father must have hidden him before he-- well, you hope he sees the sign you put up in the window of the next room.

But wait, you almost forgot! Dudamel will have no recollection of you! You have both his memory chip and his emotion processor. You took them for safekeeping when you pitted him against the pizza monster. You really should give that thing a name. Ponster? Monzza? You are usually better with names. You are Forest Hastings goddammit!

>_______

[JMickle]

> eat window for sustinance

[J. R. Hill]

>this is super important, update facebook

[Landshark RAWR]

> examine godbeetle

[Jared C]

>this is super important, update facebook

Normally, yes, but today you have an insatiable hankering for independent games. Their deviation from the mainstream AAA developers, the chunky pixel aesthetic, their ability to make you think critically about-- wait, what is this shit?



That title is eerily close to your name. You must perform a thorough investigation. You're Forest Hastings, goddammit!



>MAKE AN ACCOUNT. INVESTIGATE

[ForestHastings]

What is this shit!? Is this some kind of joke!?

[JMickle]

ITS FOREST HASTING GODDAMMIT

[J. R. Hill]

Forest Hastings, what are you doing?  You need to rescue your robot friend!!

[ForestHastings]

You're right, dammit! What should I do?? I don't have anything to combat the ice elemental with. Hell, I can't even get near the thing. If Dudamel didn't get himself into these messes, this would all be over a lot sooner.

[Theophilus]

This thread is the best!