Alright guys, here's what's going down. Our beloved Cave Story is being whored out indiscriminately. And that's like our community pillar #1. Suffice it to say, God is dead, and we are still here.
Obviously we've got to put another idol up before the whole scene collapses into anomic decay. And I've got just the thing.
Yes, Hellsinker. But why? How does it even measure up to the great Doukutsu Monogatari?
It blows that rabbit-infested fetch quest right out of the water, that's how.
#1: One man, five years. And it looks freaking amazingJust like Cave Story, right? But here's the snacks: Hellsinker is a modern game for a modern age. We're living in 20XX, folks! We're no longer held back by the waveforms of our forefathers!
Yeah. And that's not even the most intense part of the game. Get to stage six and you meet Apostles of the Seed, which are like The Sisters but they actually pose a threat. And don't even get me started on Rex Cavalier. Homeboy could punch a hole right through Balrog.
Yes, I know Cave Story is popular for its everyman appeal. Its simple graphics and music inspired us to make our own in turn. But look at our everyman now. Do you really want to aspire to be pimped out by Nicalis? 'Cause I don't think that's what you want at all.
#2: Genre-bending gameplay that is OFF THE unCHAINLook, we all know you guys don't like shmups. XOP Black Ultra just got released and everyone collectively scattered off. And while we all profess to like Jamestown, we certainly didn't welcome the dev team when they showed up here.
Here's a chance to redeem yourself. Yes, Hellsinker looks like a bullet-hell shmup, but it sure doesn't play like one. In a genre known for its incestuous breeding process, this game departed so far from the norm that it's a wonder people lump it into the shmup genre at all.
THIS is how you do innovation! I see so many people here trying to "be experimental" and "break molds" and whatnot. And how exactly do they do that? Procedural generation and metroidvania elements.
SNOØ0ΩθRE.
#3: EnlightenmentSo you know that feeling you got when you finally put the pieces together and figured out how to revive Curly? No you don't, because nobody could ever know to do all the necessary things without looking at a FAQ at one point.
I, however, know the feeling when you finally understand how the game is meant to be played, and blast through all nine levels executing chain attacks against mammoth bosses with unparalleled speed and precision.
That happened eight weeks ago. My balls haven't stopped tingling since.
———
Well, there you have it. That's my proposal. To blow up that statue of Cave Story and replace it with one of Hellsinker.
But I know you're all thinking: "but it looks so complicated!"
No it isn't. There are more than a few reference materials that explain things rather easily. Here, I'll even get you started:
http://sanagimaru.nobody.jp/c72.html (here's the official site for the demo)
http://shmups.system11.org/viewtopic.php?t=26334 (the current getting started guide)
http://wiki.hellsinker.tk/wiki/Main_Page (wiki for everything else)
http://www.7-iro.org/store/list.htm (and here's for when you wanna buy it for real)
http://www.7-iro.org/store/store.htm (oh, but first, add international shipping to the order here)
To be honest, the only thing that makes this somehow "more difficult" is that it has a very unique method of play. This isn't your sissy
modern bullet hell, where you're just kickin' back and dodging bullets while everything gets mowed down with your screen-wide laser. This game is all about giving you a number of situational tools, then leaving you to figure out how to use them to kick ass. This is a game about where to strike, when to strike, and how to strike.
Just trust me. Learn Minogame. Learn his attacks. Don't play this like a traditional shmup. The enlightenment will come shortly, and it will be glorious.
But you don't care; you're all like "but what about all the barssss...?"
Listen. Shut up. Back when I joined the scene, I was constantly bombarded with cryptic jargon. Words like "icebergvania", "emergence", "Derek Yu", and others were all thrown in my face like wet cardboard. And you're telling me that you can't remember that "Sol" means "Bomb" and "Subweapon" means "Subweapon"? Do you also post those idiotic "but you missed an enemy" comments on no-miss videos too?
So "Sol" means "Bomb". Subweapon is obvious. Stella is rank. The rest are for score and don't matter. They're hipster bars.
———
We are living in dark times. Our 8-bit haven has failed us, and we have been forced to roam the streets. Voices rage against us, tearing us apart one by one. They turn us upon each other. They make us question who we are, and if we ever were what we thought we were. With one hand we push back those who wish to destroy us. With the other hand we try to cling onto something...anything...
The past has slipped from our grasp.
The future has slipped from our grasp.
We can only cling to the present.
We can only place our hope in Hellsinker.
Keep your dignity.
Player
