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1411283 Posts in 69325 Topics- by 58380 Members - Latest Member: bob1029

March 29, 2024, 07:55:41 AM

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Author Topic: Adventures in TIG  (Read 232493 times)
andy wolff
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« Reply #1140 on: June 30, 2008, 12:16:44 PM »

you demand more applesauce. unfortunately, it doesnt have any applesauce right now (pish posh apple sauce), so it suggests you "go get your own damned applesauce".

*you gain quest to find "DAMNED APPLESAUCE"*

better get going if you want to find that.
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Hideous
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« Reply #1141 on: June 30, 2008, 12:22:48 PM »

summon ben bernanke
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medieval
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« Reply #1142 on: July 02, 2008, 10:41:24 AM »

Ben Bernanke tells you to save money.

>
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Carefree games
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« Reply #1143 on: July 02, 2008, 10:49:03 AM »

> Don't take Ben Bernanke's advice.
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medieval
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« Reply #1144 on: July 02, 2008, 12:50:55 PM »

You lose 10 points.

Your score is now -26368/5

You have to restart your quest to find "DAMNED APPLESAUCE".

Which reminds me, I once had two pots of mushroom-applesauce in the fridge.

>
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reetva
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« Reply #1145 on: July 02, 2008, 02:52:35 PM »

>Go to local apple-related products market.
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Guert
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« Reply #1146 on: July 02, 2008, 03:26:03 PM »

You end up at "Applo-dissimo!", the apple discount store where everything apple is at 13 cents. There are giants apples, small apples, not so giant yet not small apples, green apples, red apples, apple-flavored pineapples, pinapple-flavored apples, a magic carpet, applesauce dispensers, applesauce machines, sausy apples, sour apples, sewer apples, apples with vinegar, apples with sugar, apples with oranges mixed togethers, dancing apples, unicorn apples, the big apple, an apple tree snake with a naked chick holding an apple, an apple tree snake choking on an apple, an apple tree choking on an apple snake, a portal to the realms of the vicious apples, apple phones, telemarketers ready to sale apples using the phone, apple phones ready to be used with a telemarketer, sliced apples, half-sliced apples, nibbled apples, shiny apples, very shiny apples, flaming apples, pile of ash apples, suckling pigs ready to be shoved an apple down their throat, pigs ready to shove apples down your throat if you don't go suckling and an apple peeler.

A sign on the front door indicates the following "Sorry, we're closed because there is no such thing as apples."

>   
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« Reply #1147 on: July 02, 2008, 03:39:20 PM »

Seems they had everything besides damned applesause anyways. You can't help but wonder what an apple with vinegar tastes like, so you decide to break in... But how? Classic air duct entrance or a more elaborate plan that really didn't require so much thought as you put into it? And who knows, maybe there is damned applesause deep in the labyrinth of apple-filled isles.

>
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reetva
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« Reply #1148 on: July 02, 2008, 08:37:09 PM »

> Eat a tortilla chip instead, because applesauce sucks, anyways.
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Carefree games
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« Reply #1149 on: July 02, 2008, 09:05:17 PM »

You throw the tortilla chip on the ground and stomp on it. It makes a satisfying crunch sound, just like it says on the bag! You stand there watching the ants swarm around it... You are mesmerized by the patterns of the ants. Days seem to go by. Suddenly a laser comes from your left and dissinegrates the rest of you chips! You turn to see where the laser came from. ALIENS! Your only option is to break into the the building unless you want to get anal probed! Shocked

>
« Last Edit: July 02, 2008, 09:23:14 PM by Carefree Games » Logged
reetva
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« Reply #1150 on: July 02, 2008, 10:59:05 PM »

> Wag finger at aliens.
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medieval
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« Reply #1151 on: July 03, 2008, 01:54:36 AM »

Great, now your finger is wagged, so pretty much useless. It had no effect on the aliens.

Now what?

>
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moi
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« Reply #1152 on: July 03, 2008, 06:06:28 AM »

>Put thread out of its misery Tired
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medieval
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« Reply #1153 on: July 03, 2008, 08:19:57 AM »

Thread has grown a beard.

>
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Xion
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« Reply #1154 on: July 03, 2008, 02:17:02 PM »

> karate chop beard of Thread with wagged finger
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Synnah
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« Reply #1155 on: July 04, 2008, 07:43:09 AM »

Your finger cuts a clean swathe through the THREAD's facial hair, leaving a neat line. The severed hairs fall to the earth, where they grow like seeds, and sprout several smaller THREADS. One of the THREADS shouts obscenities at you.

>
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godsavant
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« Reply #1156 on: July 04, 2008, 11:03:11 AM »

Your finger cuts a clean swathe through the THREAD's facial hair, leaving a neat line. The severed hairs fall to the earth, where they grow like seeds, and sprout several smaller THREADS. One of the THREADS shouts obscenities at you.

>

CRITICAL HIT!

IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE...
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reetva
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« Reply #1157 on: July 04, 2008, 12:04:54 PM »

> Touch facial hairs to face.
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medieval
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« Reply #1158 on: July 08, 2008, 11:52:26 AM »

You enjoy it.
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Synnah
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« Reply #1159 on: July 09, 2008, 05:41:17 AM »

> Enjoy more
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"What's that thing at the end of the large intestine? Because that's exactly what you've done here." - Ray Smuckles, Achewood.

My music. Will compose for free!
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