next »

[ZackParrish]

I would like to hear what you have to say about this track:
https://soundcloud.com/music-vortex/bloom-main-theme
I'd appreciate any feedback

I'm giving my critique to you with no knowledge of what your aim with this track was, just a warning. Really need to make sure you point out certain things were you going for when posting otherwise I'm likely to rip into something that isn't worth ripping into...

The timbre of all the parts is so rich/smooth that little DING, triangle, whatever it is... doesn't really fit well.  It's so dry in comparison to the ambiance of the rest of the track, that or it's so present in the mix the reverb tail is being drowned out by the rest of the mix.  The bell tree = yes.  The triangle... no.  Not as it is right now.  If you can give it more depth I think it would work better.

The harp sounds pretty dry as well, especially when in comparison to the viola/violin.  The reverb is pretty heavy on that, and it sounds as though you used some on the clarinet as well.  The attack on the clarinet is pretty slow right now and makes it sound like the "person" that would otherwise be playing it is breathing every time they play a note.  Try and shorten the attack so just a few milliseconds, just enough to cut the inaccuracy of the start of the sample, and then use CC11(expression) or CC7(volume) to control the entry and exit of each segment of the phrase.  It sounds like you are playing around with the expression already, but the clarinet's sample is working against you with it's slow attack.  You might also consider using the pitch wheel to kind of "mimic" legato shifts in the notes.  For example, if the clarinet goes from a C to a D, have the pitch wheel shift the pitch a whole step instead of actually changing the note on the staff/piano roll.  Doesn't have to be a long bend, can be pretty instantaneous.  Wheel value is 0 on the start of C, and when it needs to be D, set the value ti 8196 or whatever it is. 

You might consider using the same technique or even portamento for legato shifts in the violin part to overcome the limitations of the sample you are using.

That's about all I've got. :p

[ZackParrish]

I guess I stopped trying to make music a while ago, but it'd still be fun to hear comments on this thing



It's a rearrangement of this

I think a good pass with EQ would help this track quite a bit.  Seems a tad muddy to me.  Not BAD muddy, just a TAD muddy.  The tempo of the track leaves much to be desired, because the original, while not much more upbeat, IS more upbeat, so your arrangement seems kind of dull in comparison. Tonality wise I hear the difference, but majority of the rest of the track it sounds pretty similar in terms of progression, notation, and rhythm.  Kind of gives me the impression you just took the original and resampled it.  Going by the play times of the two tracks, and the variance in the tempo between them, that seems very likely.  When you arrange something, you typically want to change things up substantially so it's recognizable, but genuinely different and more exciting to listen to.  Try exploring more with an arrangement, by incorporating more of your own ideas into the music as oppose to holding on so tight to the original form. 

[Music Vortex]

Wow guys you really went into detail with the comments, thanks! I appreciate it

You pointed out many interesting things about different aspects and overall I think that I agree with most of the comments, I'll definitely look into all the feedback you gave me. I'll read again everything carefully tomorrow, with a fresh mind.

Maybe the only thing that surprised me a bit was the comment about the harmonies being improvised, since the progression is quite simple actually, however I agree that it does give a sense of ambiguity but that's fine. I do agree that some secondary lines need some work and that might solve everything.

The good thing is that the game is still early in the development process so I can improve the music a lot more. I'll post an update of the track in the future with the improvements

Cheers!
Jose

[Sealunar]

Here's something experimental I did for fun.

https://soundcloud.com/angelo-cicero/no-form

[christianc]

If you guys would like to give it a listen, here is a track I posted in the game ending song competition (the one before the most recent contrasting elements one.) It was disqualified because I didn't write it for the competition, but I'd be interested to hear what you guys think. Steparnicus, bless his heart, already gave me some good feedback. His major complaint was the harshness of the glitchy synth in contrast with pretty sounding piano. Thoughts?

https://soundcloud.com/cc0919/newgamesong2

[ZackParrish]

Here's something experimental I did for fun.

https://soundcloud.com/angelo-cicero/no-form

I don't have much critique for yours, so kudos on that.  The snare you used, I hate it... I think for how quick paced most of the parts are, the short articulations you hear constantly throughout... a pretty tightly articulated snare would fit better instead of the long delay one you currently are using.  The bass synth(assuming it's a synth bass) I'm not a fan of. I think a kind of... funk bass, something with a Lo-Pass filter on it that's moving quickly like the piano part while still hitting the root of the chords either on beat or off, would fit in much better and counter the piano a bit to make the piece more interesting(not saying it's not though).  You might also consider using a tighter kick sample.  Something that HITS, but isn't really sustaining that much in the low end.  Not really sure how to explain what I mean on that one...

[ZackParrish]

If you guys would like to give it a listen, here is a track I posted in the game ending song competition (the one before the most recent contrasting elements one.) It was disqualified because I didn't write it for the competition, but I'd be interested to hear what you guys think. Steparnicus, bless his heart, already gave me some good feedback. His major complaint was the harshness of the glitchy synth in contrast with pretty sounding piano. Thoughts?

https://soundcloud.com/cc0919/newgamesong2

Well, at first I was confused what you mean by the harsh synth... but to counter Step's comment...

I think it wouldn't sound so out of place if you didn't have the piano panned to the left and the synth to the right.  It makes it stand out more that way sure... but that's a bit much.  I think if you hadn't had so much separation in that regard it would've fit better. When the... banjo?  Comes in, it's right on top of the piano, while the synth is still on the right side by itself.  I honestly think if you sat back and revisited the panning on this, it would be pretty solid... at least up until the drums come in.  I hate those drum samples.  The snare is weak, and the cymbals sound like they are from the 90s.  I'd swap them out for something with a lot more clarity, probably take the crash cymbals and switch them out for a ride cymbal.  That part is flowing and the crashing just kind of kills the vibe for me. The first trill sounded nice, but then the second trill kind of... dunno.  It's louder than the first in a sense, maybe just tone down the second trill(each time that specific one comes back as well).  That's more than likely a sample issue as oppose to something you did, but I'd still say knock that particular pitch back a hair or two so when it comes in it doesn't contrast as much with the trill just before it.  And uhh... what's up with the ending?  It just kind of stops, and not in a way that sounds intentional.  Sounds more like you just stopped composing and had intended on continuing with the piece?

[christianc]

DAMNNN You weren't kidding when you said harsh criticism! Thanks for giving it a listen and giving your thoughts.

I definitely see what you're saying about the panning. To be honest, I really hadn't given that aspect much thought until now. Definitely a good point (also, yes sir, that's a banjo.) If I end up using this for something I'm definitely going to adjust the panning, and probably rerecord and bring up the banjo quite a bit.

About the drums...when you say "samples," are you referring to the electronic sounding drums, or the drums that are mixed relatively low? The drums that are mixed lower are real drums, I recorded them with a single room mic in order to add a contrast to the inorganic electronic drum sounds. Intentionally trashy sounding because I liked the effect it had, but I can see why you wouldn't like it.

About the trills...I see what you're saying, and they're not very good sounding at all. They  don't really have any warmth to them. I've recently picked up the Embertone strings, which I don't think have trills, but I would likely arrange the string sounds differently. Not sure I like the trills.

As far as the ending goes, it was meant to end there, but I never went back and did some fading and such to make it seem more natural. I think the most jarring part of that, and what threw a red flag when you were listening to it, is the abrupt string trill cut off. I'm not sure if I'll go back and rework this song, may end up throwing it out instead, but if I do, I'll definitely be reworking the ending as well.

Thanks so much for the insight!

[ZackParrish]

I think it's worth revisiting it, because it is a nice track, just needs some TLC.  I liked the trills at the end because it was a nice change in the texture of the track. 

I'm... not really sure which drums are synth and which aren't now.  The snare that has a really long strainer buzz on it bothers me though.  I really wish that had a tighter strainer and more POP.  But that's a personal preference from being in a lot of bands that typically always had the strainer and head pretty tight, usually a muted head too. :\  When I listen to the track though, I want that POP and it's just not there with that snare. The kick is fine, I just think if it was tighter as well... ya know? 

But yeah, I do think you should revisit the track, even if it's just panning and a resample on the strings.  A trick you might use on the strings, have another string part that only plays tremolo and not trills, that way if you have a note that is held from one measure to the next, you can carry it over and it'll make the shift from one trill to the next sound smoother.  Cheap trick, but effective none the less.

[christianc]

Cool! I'll definitely consider all of that once I get a free minute to possibly rework it. I may also add some Wurlitzer once I get mine fixed (having some electrical problems, so I need to break out the soldering station ) If you're interested/want to listen, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this too. I should mention that there are some problems with certain synth sounds, this was before I repaired my Juno 106 from the dreaded dead voice chip problem..

https://soundcloud.com/cc0919/gamesong1

I made it quite a while ago for a bejeweled type puzzle game.

[ZackParrish]

Cool! I'll definitely consider all of that once I get a free minute to possibly rework it. I may also add some Wurlitzer once I get mine fixed (having some electrical problems, so I need to break out the soldering station ) If you're interested/want to listen, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this too. I should mention that there are some problems with certain synth sounds, this was before I repaired my Juno 106 from the dreaded dead voice chip problem..

https://soundcloud.com/cc0919/gamesong1

I made it quite a while ago for a bejeweled type puzzle game.

If you guessed the first thing I was going to comment on was panning... YOU WIN A NEW CARRRRRR!.  But yeah, the panning is an issue in this one too. I love the separation in tracks to be pretty clear but there is a point when it just becomes too much.  In stuff like rock music it's generally okay because the guitars are evenly spaced on opposite sides and typically playing very similar parts if not the exact same part.  In cases where the instrumentation is pretty different in terms of the pitch and/or timbre, the separation becomes too severe panning them that far apart.

The keys on the left I would keep in the center, maybe using stereo modelling to widen the sound so it's the core instrument in the track's harmony and plays 100% of the time.  The synth bass(we'll just call it that), can actually stay in the center with the keys because they have enough variance in their timbre and pitch that they won't affect each other much in that center channel.  You might run an adaptive noise filter on the keys too to remove that line noise from the recording(if you have one).  It's not that big of an issue and honestly kind of gives it a nice retro "flair" I think so you could honestly keep it in there as a stylistic thing.  The drums are fine, though I wish there was a slight bit more panning done on those than being dead center.  Kick is fine in the center but I'd say put the snare SLIGHTLY to one side and the hats SLIGHTLY the other direction.  Not much, maybe... 15% either way.

The square arpeggio that comes in around 15 seconds, I think it is a bit too prominent as it is right now. If you pull it back closer to the center than the wide panning it has right now it would very likely bring it more into the mix than it is at the current time.  Might still consider lowering it's volume and possible running a Lo-Pass filter on it to deaden the tone a bit.  Not much, just enough to bring it back with the rest of the instrumentation. All the other instruments that come in are fine outside of their panning.  They just need to move in such a way they aren't so far apart or laying right on top of another part with a similar pitch range.  At one point it sounds like you have a synth pad and a slow arpeggio in the left spectrum right on top of the keys, which are all fairly thick timbres. On the right side you have the bright square wave and the mallet instrument, and the two sides just have such a hefty difference I feel like I'm "leaning" to one side.

So, in a simple way of that entire critique... my point is... work on the panning. Separation is okay, but keep in mind the balance between the Left, Right, and Middle. Try to determine the "weight" of each part and how to keep the scales from tipping.   

[ZackParrish]

I don't mean to post twice, but I wasn't entirely sure which of my songs I wanted to post, so I figured I might as well and try to post both.  Here's another: https://soundcloud.com/tipsheda/blimps-fly-high . Just let me know what you think.  You guys can skip this if you feel like it.  I don't entirely care, just thought I'd try.

Like your other track, I'm having hard time following this track.  It's like you had several ideas that just kind of fell into the mix one after the next with no real development to lead you from one part to the next(transitions), and they vary so much it's like I'm moving from one room to the next, for about 6+ rooms, but there is no hallway to link them.  I just kind of ... teleported into another location.  The progression of some parts gets redundant at times because the changes you make do little to keep me interested. It's mostly changes in the tone or harmonic variances of the same instrument that is already playing. By the time a new part/instrument comes in at some parts in the track, I'm already over that whole section and just want it to move on. There are some weird chord changes in there that kind of... threw me off but I'll leave that to your artistic preference because I do stuff like that once in a blue moon too.  The part around 8:25 or whatever, at the end, it was a nice change transitioning out of the part just before it, and then the track ends.  That was one of the few times where the transition felt natural and I was curious where things were going to go next.  Then it stops.  If you can work on getting the drums more involved and not so sparse in the rhythm, as well as try to develop sections more so that they each FLOW into one another more naturally, then you could make some great electronic.  You've got nice ideas, just poor execution overall.

[Tipsheda]

I don't mean to post twice, but I wasn't entirely sure which of my songs I wanted to post, so I figured I might as well and try to post both.  Here's another: https://soundcloud.com/tipsheda/blimps-fly-high . Just let me know what you think.  You guys can skip this if you feel like it.  I don't entirely care, just thought I'd try.

Like your other track, I'm having hard time following this track.  It's like you had several ideas that just kind of fell into the mix one after the next with no real development to lead you from one part to the next(transitions), and they vary so much it's like I'm moving from one room to the next, for about 6+ rooms, but there is no hallway to link them.  I just kind of ... teleported into another location.  The progression of some parts gets redundant at times because the changes you make do little to keep me interested. It's mostly changes in the tone or harmonic variances of the same instrument that is already playing. By the time a new part/instrument comes in at some parts in the track, I'm already over that whole section and just want it to move on. There are some weird chord changes in there that kind of... threw me off but I'll leave that to your artistic preference because I do stuff like that once in a blue moon too.  The part around 8:25 or whatever, at the end, it was a nice change transitioning out of the part just before it, and then the track ends.  That was one of the few times where the transition felt natural and I was curious where things were going to go next.  Then it stops.  If you can work on getting the drums more involved and not so sparse in the rhythm, as well as try to develop sections more so that they each FLOW into one another more naturally, then you could make some great electronic.  You've got nice ideas, just poor execution overall.

Thanks again, man.  I'll really try to nail down transitions better in the future.  Thanks for all your hard work on this topic, too.  Great idea and I'm sure everyone loves it.

[ZackParrish]

Thanks again, man.  I'll really try to nail down transitions better in the future.  Thanks for all your hard work on this topic, too.  Great idea and I'm sure everyone loves it.

I sure don't... makes me feel like an asshole. :\

[christianc]

I sure don't... makes me feel like an asshole. :\

You shouldn't! I think we all appreciate the feedback, as real in-depth criticism is hard to come by.

In response to your responses about my tracks, I think you hit the nail right on the head. I typically use panning without thinking in order to make tracks less muddy and claustrophobic. Definitely something I'll start putting more thought into!

Also, I wanted to mention, since you've been so helpful, I'd be more than willing to listen to any tracks you may want some feedback on.

[ZackParrish]

Fair enough.  I'll post one up soon, I had one posted earlier but took it down because nobody seemed to notice it(was like... page 2/3 or something.

I think part of why I haven't posted anything YET aside from that, is I'm already aware of a lot of the problems in my tracks that I am working on, and I don't want to post something that to me is obviously nowhere near completion. :p  Once I get a track semi "finished" I'll probably post that. o_O

[christianc]

Well, if you decide to post something, I'll be sure to listen

[mscottweber]

Wow, this thread has come along way since I last got a chance to look it!

Zach, thanks for the review of my piece!  You told me exactly what I needed to hear

[ZackParrish]

You're welcome.

And... in the spirit of thrashing other people's music...

http://soundcloud.com/zack-parrish/pyrite-heart-classroom/s-iSEyS

This has to be the most generic piece of music I have EVER written.   But the setting it's for calls for generic music so... sue me.

[Justsometoast]

Oh wow I can't believe I Didn't see this thread sooner! I really needed some good feedback. I tried starting a thread here to get some a while ago but there were only a few good pieces of advice. So I ask you to be as harsh and truthful as possible!

Here's a song I posted to my soundcloud a couple of months ago: https://soundcloud.com/justsometoast/in-which-events-transpire

Go ahead and tear into it!