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TIGSource ForumsCommunityTownhallForum IssuesArchived subforums (read only)CreativeWritingJoke Thread
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Dr. Cooldude
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lelebæcülo


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« Reply #20 on: July 10, 2013, 02:02:09 PM »

Here's something for the UNIX Shell users:

Code:
% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% sh

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink < bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

$ mkdir matter; cat > matter
matter: cannot create

(First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis')
$ ping elvis
elvis is alive.

Source
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ithamore
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« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2014, 05:41:02 AM »

That kid is as smart as a WIP.
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ithamore
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« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2014, 11:57:47 AM »

I use to know an IT guy whom liked to warn his coworkers just after he'd done a "core dump" if they were on their way to the bathroom.
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ithamore
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« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2014, 10:49:25 AM »

A guy walks out of a bar, picks it up, and says, "That was such a stringy theory."
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Whiteclaws
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#include <funny.h>


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« Reply #24 on: May 08, 2014, 05:38:42 PM »

Why do java devs wear glasses, because they don't C sharp
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absolute8
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WTF, some aggressive nerd... (•̀ω•́)و ̑̑


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« Reply #25 on: May 23, 2014, 08:59:49 AM »

Why do java devs wear glasses, because they don't C sharp

This joke totally wins with me right now.
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Manuel Magalhães
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« Reply #26 on: May 23, 2014, 09:15:37 AM »

A guy buys pies for a party. His circle of friends said that the two pies were pretty rad.
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Whiteclaws
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« Reply #27 on: May 23, 2014, 01:44:04 PM »

This joke totally wins with me right now.
Like a boss  Cool
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ithamore
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« Reply #28 on: May 30, 2014, 07:15:57 AM »

I do like that C# one, but it's not their fault: it's caffeine overdoses that're to blame.
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Schoq
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♡∞


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« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2014, 07:41:32 AM »

how many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

they can't because they're too busy laughing at bad computer jokes
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Whiteclaws
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« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2014, 12:42:28 PM »

how many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

they can't because they're too busy laughing at bad computer jokes
None, that's a hardware problem

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness (TM) as the new
industry standard.
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The Translocator
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« Reply #31 on: July 14, 2014, 12:21:42 PM »

Knock knock.

*Who's there?*

Bob

*GET OFF MY LAWN!*
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ithamore
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« Reply #32 on: September 19, 2014, 09:17:52 AM »

I woke up 8-bit groggy this morning.

While my coffee was brewing, I was borderline hexadecimal.

After 8-byte and dumping down a mug of joe, I decided to no longer standby and to shine like Chrome.
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beetleking22
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« Reply #33 on: September 19, 2014, 09:27:15 AM »

What do you get when you cross a bungee cord and an owl?

-My ass
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ithamore
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« Reply #34 on: September 20, 2014, 02:14:27 PM »

What do you get when you cross a bungee cord and an owl?

-My ass
Is that your way of trying to describe a more intelligent cuckoo clock? Evolving to "who" or "whom" would be a significant series of flaps forward for bird-kind themed timepieces.

« Last Edit: September 21, 2014, 01:52:12 PM by ithamore » Logged

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andrewjohn1317
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« Reply #35 on: April 09, 2015, 03:07:10 AM »

What do you call a monkey with a bomb strapped to it?

-a baboom



It's so funny  Beer! No No NO
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Prinsessa
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« Reply #36 on: April 09, 2015, 04:09:40 AM »

Knock knock.

*Who's there?*

Bob

*GET OFF MY LAWN!*
knock knock

— knock knock who?

still my favourite joke of all time

A guy buys pies for a party. His circle of friends said that the two pies were pretty rad.
ok this one was good too
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