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[JeepBarnett]

This is a prototype for a story-based adventure game. Please ignore that it's built using RPG Maker with default assets (it's not a JRPG)! I wanted to quickly prove out some concepts and it's the tool I had on hand.



I feel a little exposed sharing it in this early state. The stages are pretty bare with just enough to get the idea across, so you'll have to use your imagination. But my time investment has been minimal and I need honest feedback.

Windows Download Here

It takes roughly 40 to 90 minutes to complete. Here's the 2 major things I'm looking for:

1) Should I take this game to the next level by remaking it in better engine with original art/music. This would also include improving the writing/dialog and reworking the game flow.

2) If you're an artist, are you interested in working on an expanded remake? I have some ideas on how to reframe the game so that the art is a central feature. It would be completely different from its current top-down perspective or a traditional point and click adventure style.

For feedback, I'd like to know if you understood the story and if you can explain the motivations of the characters by the end. Did you ever feel it was too cheesy or wasting your time? General impressions on how it made you feel, the tone, or any other thoughts would be great! If you get stuck or are confused by stuff, asking questions would be helpful too.

I don't need feedback on bugs or typos, there's probably some minor ones in there. All the art, sound, and music are placeholder, so I'm not looking for feedback there either.

Thanks so much for your time!

[DarkUser]

So funny enough I had dl'd this earlier today to play when I had more time, but anyway, twice it crashed on me upon choosing the cafe at the door... which on the second try had me wishing there was some way to fast skip the entire start lol

saying an audio file was missing, it closed right away, couldn't read which in time

[JeepBarnett]

Wow, thanks for pointing that out! That was a really dumb mistake.

I triple checked everything and found 2 missing sounds. If you want to avoid redownloading it you can duplicate 2 of the sounds in Audio/SE/ and rename them "Move.ogg" and "Evasion2.ogg". Otherwise, I've reuploaded the zip with everything included. You're also able to save at any time a little past that point.

Hope you give it another shot and thanks again!

[Prads]

I played it to the end and took me around 60 minutes to finish it. It was interesting and I didn't feel bored by the story. The suspense of the story made it really interesting kept me play till the end and I never thought the story would end the way it did when I was playing it. I would definitely want to see this expanded.

[dlan]

I finished it, it's quite well made. While I sometimes needed to try out various combination of events to advance the story, I think you have enough hint to know what to do next.

I didn't grasp everything about the story, a little more context could be useful (like notes explaining a little more about the characters). You have a good base, a dark graphic style like the one you have in Indigo prophecy would suit the game well.

[JeepBarnett]

Thanks for playing guys, it really means a lot to me!

I agree that some parts are a little vague. I wanted to leave some room for players to put the pieces together, but I think it's a failure if you're left confused or with unsolvable questions. Can you be more specific about the things that you did and didn't understand.

By 'notes' do you mean that the main character could keep a notebook on the characters she's met and what she's learned about them? Or do you mean that they need a more defined introduction/epilogue.

[dlan]

Can you be more specific about the things that you did and didn't understand.

*SPOILER*
For example, in the morgue, when you come back and are interrogated, you have several options, but all give the same outcome. In this case, one option is enough to avoid confusion. Also, I stumble upon the girl that get into the car crash after trying several place. I think having more hint that she was in the police station would help.

By 'notes' do you mean that the main character could keep a notebook on the characters she's met and what she's learned about them?

I thought more about notes that characters would left to each other, to give more informations to the player. Or messages on an answering machine, things like that. But having a reference notebook with an history of what happened would be good too.

[JeepBarnett]

Okay, that makes sense. It could be interesting to give the player more voyeuristic options to learn about the characters, especial because of the relationship with time and consequence. I really enjoyed that type of stuff in Majora's Mask, but hadn't thought of using it here.

'Irreversible' (retryable) dialog trees was one of the things I wanted to explore in this game. But because of current technical limitations I was only able to allow rewinding to the start rather than the start of each scene. The dialog options are left over from that idea, but I had to give them the same outcome to save the player from needing to repeat several sections of mundane stuff.

One more question: What parts of the story did you feel like you didn't grasp?

[dlan]

What parts of the story did you feel like you didn't grasp?

The ending, I feel it unfold too fast and you don't have the time to understand everything that happened. I also wondered where the guys who come after you when you run out of time fit in the conclusion.

[DarkUser]

I made it through but not without a few frustrating spots.  In the first 15 minutes I felt like the game was going well but had to go.  Coming back to finish it I couldn't remember any names lol.  Really wish there was a notebook or you "remind yourself" your last clue in morning or something.

SPOILERS
It was mentioning the car crash so I spent some time trying to remember who causes that, when I figured out the phonecall, it turns out I didn't need that yet and was still stuck, but I kept making the call every day which made things hard later...
 
I figured because micheal washes up to shore after waiting 1 more time after 9:00 and his body is in the morgue some time after 9 with the detective, what reason is there to wait at the docks one more time? but turns his body is still there with different cops? In my mind he was supposed to be in the morgue during that time slot. I guess I thought time was passing because I was waiting, but it was not.

Another issue I had was finding mitch,  I kept making the phonecall in the morning because it seemed like it should always be done to save time and it kept reminding me I was late.  I tried every timeslot I could to find mitch and then started looking other places before I realized to not make the call because it was causing me to miss a cafe timeslot.

Basically the game appeared to me to use fixed timeslots, especially while traveling, and instead was really random.

And ditto on the 2 guys in black, they don't seem to fit

[JeepBarnett]

Yep, really good feedback. I agree that the timeslots can be pretty fiddly. Three things that are making this problematic:
1) You can't wait in an area to see all it's states and could miss something if you're hitting even or odd slots.
2) Getting extra time in the morning doesn't really get you an extra slot like it seems it should.
3) You can't rewind back partially if you make a small mistake.

With an expanded version it could be possible to have a clock that's always ticking so that waiting is passive rather than an active choice. It would also be nice to see how time is passing as you travel.

For both you and Dlan, the 2 guys in black are revealed in the final scenes but I think it's a failure on my part with the implication being too subtle. I'll give you guys a chance to think it through if you want to guess or argue that there's counter-evidence.