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TIGSource ForumsCommunityCompetitionsOld CompetitionsCommonplace Book31BR [FINISHED]
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Author Topic: 31BR [FINISHED]  (Read 13110 times)
genericuser
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« on: November 26, 2008, 04:18:14 pm »

SURPRISE ENTRY!

I made the stupid mistake of discovering Ren'Py and the CPB competition at the same time :D

This is the result...

I picked story 25. (Why I then decided to call it 31BR is still a mystery to me.)

You can read it by doing a CTRL+A, but it's kind of a spoiler, since this is the scenario you play through...
25 - Man visits museum of antiquities—asks that it accept a bas-relief he has just made—old and learned curator laughs and says he cannot accept anything so modern. Man says that

‘dreams are older than brooding Egypt or the contemplative Sphinx or garden-girdled Babylonia’

and that he had fashioned the sculpture in his dreams. Curator bids him shew his product, and when he does so curator shews horror. Asks who the man may be. He tells modern name. “No—before that” says curator. Man does not remember except in dreams. Then curator offers high price, but man fears he means to destroy sculpture. Asks fabulous price—curator will consult directors.



(SPOILER OVER)

31BR is a short visual novel where you're a man who's trying to sell a museum one of his pieces. It has 4 possible endings.

Win32 download:

http://www.mediafire.com/?jw2immzizic

Linux download:

http://www.mediafire.com/?5czmxg0tyfg

Mac OS X download:

http://www.mediafire.com/?jino1nyjzmy

Note: I haven't tested the Linux and Mac executables, so I can't help you much there.

Constructive criticism is appreciated; this is my first visual novel, though, so don't expect a huge/perfect game. The fact that I only spent a couple of hours making it doesn't help, either.  Undecided

Oh, and BTW; The music for the game is here and here.

That is all.

EDIT: Updated; fixed bug where you could continue the game after the ending.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2008, 02:18:10 pm by genericuser » Logged
increpare
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« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2008, 06:39:02 pm »

I can confirm that the mac version works.  Tearing though sometimes!  :D

Fun to play.  Genuinely spooky.  I haven't looked at the description yet

*looks*

ah, a solid interpretation.

Cool.  Excepting the control system: space skips through conversations but doesn't select items.

In the conversation menus, having two options, and having the selected one be great and the non-selected one be lighter is confusing.  I don't know if you have any control of that though?
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Loren Schmidt
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« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2008, 09:33:34 pm »

Constructive criticism is appreciated; this is my first visual novel, though, so don't expect a huge/perfect game. The fact that I only spent a couple of hours making it doesn't help, either.  Undecided
This may be your first visual novel, but you're a pretty good storyteller. I liked the moments where the main character thought to himself, that was pretty well done. I think if there's a weak link, it's that some of the dialog didn't sound very believable. The characters felt real, but sometimes people displayed a lack of knowledge about things they were supposed to be experts in, and there were a few inconsistencies.


I believe I encountered one bug (no spoilers)-
After reaching one of the endings, the game screen remained black, and the game went back to the point where I made my last dialog choice. When I made the other choice, the game played through to an alternate end. The entire time, however, the screen remained black. After that, it went back to the main menu and everything seemed to be working normally.

I enjoyed the game. Thanks for making it!
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genericuser
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« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2008, 01:59:14 pm »

I can confirm that the mac version works.  Tearing though sometimes!  :D

Fun to play.  Genuinely spooky.  I haven't looked at the description yet

*looks*

ah, a solid interpretation.

Cool.  Excepting the control system: space skips through conversations but doesn't select items.

In the conversation menus, having two options, and having the selected one be great and the non-selected one be lighter is confusing.  I don't know if you have any control of that though?


Thanks!  Smiley

It's good to hear that the Mac version works, and it's even better to hear that someone enjoyed it.

As for the control system; I think the Ren'Py engine is at fault, so I can't do much about it. I tested it with my mouse, so I didn't notice that  Embarrassed


Constructive criticism is appreciated; this is my first visual novel, though, so don't expect a huge/perfect game. The fact that I only spent a couple of hours making it doesn't help, either.  Undecided
This may be your first visual novel, but you're a pretty good storyteller. I liked the moments where the main character thought to himself, that was pretty well done. I think if there's a weak link, it's that some of the dialog didn't sound very believable. The characters felt real, but sometimes people displayed a lack of knowledge about things they were supposed to be experts in, and there were a few inconsistencies.


I believe I encountered one bug (no spoilers)-
After reaching one of the endings, the game screen remained black, and the game went back to the point where I made my last dialog choice. When I made the other choice, the game played through to an alternate end. The entire time, however, the screen remained black. After that, it went back to the main menu and everything seemed to be working normally.

I enjoyed the game. Thanks for making it!

I didn't really know all that much about museums/art buying when I made the game, so TBH I kinda expected that. Next time I make a visual novel I'll make sure to do some actual research on the subject  Wink

That bug sounded weird. I'll look it and try to fix it ASAP.
EDIT: I fixed the bug. Updated versions should be up soon. (It was pretty easy to fix, too. A small return statement for man, a big step for bugfixing...)

But thanks for the suggestions  Smiley
« Last Edit: November 27, 2008, 02:20:22 pm by genericuser » Logged
Soulliard
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« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2008, 10:05:36 am »

Pretty neat interpretation of the CPB entry. I've actually been to the pictured 'museum'. It's a greenhouse in Balboa Park in San Diego.

Some of the dialog was a little awkward, but the author's inner thoughts were related  well. It didn't quite succeed in spooking me, though.
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genericuser
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« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2008, 11:51:22 am »

Pretty neat interpretation of the CPB entry. I've actually been to the pictured 'museum'. It's a greenhouse in Balboa Park in San Diego.

Some of the dialog was a little awkward, but the author's inner thoughts were related  well. It didn't quite succeed in spooking me, though.

 :D

I knew using public domain images would come back to hunt me.


* genericuser goes off to learn dialogue-writing
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agj
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« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2008, 01:01:07 pm »

Is 31BR the bass-relief's 'name'?

I thought the game was quite well made. Is there an ending where everything is made clear, though, or is the spoiler the most complete?
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genericuser
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« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2008, 01:53:04 pm »

Is 31BR the bass-relief's 'name'?

I thought the game was quite well made. Is there an ending where everything is made clear, though, or is the spoiler the most complete?

No, the name was originally supposed to be 25BR, as in "Commonplace Book Entry 25: BasRelief". The reason it's named 31BR is because I accidentally typed the wrong number, and when I found out, it was a little too late  :D

There isn't really a clear ending. The closest thing you can get to an explanation is spoiler.

If it's still unclear: Huge spoiler.

But thanks for the feedback Smiley
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Don Andy
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« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2008, 12:44:59 pm »

I enjoyed the game although I felt that the story was a bit forced at certain parts. Other than that pretty good though. I would've enjoyed it more if you would've gotten someone to draw the director guy for you, but it worked like this, too. Beer!
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Zaknafein
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« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2008, 01:56:35 pm »

I quite liked this one too. One of the creepiest games, that huge black silhouette... I was half-expecting it be drawn at one point.
And the text-choice-based gameplay made me feel as if one answer would have really horrible consequences. But then not really. :D

Got my vote! Beer!
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Fluroarmadillo
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« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2008, 03:26:29 pm »

The option to name the museum curator kind of ruined it for me because A) It broke flow and B) I went really immature about it Tongue

Otherwise, highly enjoyable, thanks!
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Most think a Dark Knight quote in a signature is soo cliched; but "Why so Serious?"
genericuser
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« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2008, 10:51:22 pm »

The option to name the museum curator kind of ruined it for me because A) It broke flow and B) I went really immature about it Tongue

Otherwise, highly enjoyable, thanks!

You can press Enter to skip the naming, and get a default name.  Tongue

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Fluroarmadillo
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« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2008, 11:51:26 pm »

The option to name the museum curator kind of ruined it for me because A) It broke flow and B) I went really immature about it Tongue

Otherwise, highly enjoyable, thanks!

You can press Enter to skip the naming, and get a default name.  Tongue

Yeah but then I wouldn't laugh at every time "McLovin" the museum curator talked Tongue
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Most think a Dark Knight quote in a signature is soo cliched; but "Why so Serious?"
genericuser
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« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2009, 08:35:38 am »

PC Gamer ran a roundup of this compo not too long ago, and 31BR was one of the 8 games they showed in the magazine   Grin

The whole page, with the other 7 games, is here. (Thanks, Terry!)

(Yes, it's a bit late. I've known about this, but I didn't get around to posting it here.)
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