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TIGSource ForumsDeveloperArtWorkshopCritique for a Noirish Comic
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Henry_Oswald
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« on: May 28, 2014, 07:23:12 PM »

Here's the third page to a little thing I've been working on. I'd love some criticism! Thanks much, and I hope you enjoy.

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FeralCatDen
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« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2014, 11:25:04 AM »

Do you have some reference image, or some kind of moodboard, for what sort of noir you're going for? Generally with noir you want to have a lot of contrast, interesting lightings, shadowplay, etc. Right now I wouldn't call this noirish except that it's black and white. Try some interesting viewing angles, exaggerated perspective, camera tilt, etc. Not always of course, but for key scenes and critical moments.

As for the typography, you might be better served by a different font choice. I can't readily identify the one you're using, but it seems like you're only using two weights, and it's kind of an emotionless sans serif. Pick a font that has a large range of weights, or be prepared to hand-letter it. Use font choice and typography to express your characters' emotions.

A general note: text which is rotated the right way up but placed vertically is a bad idea (the LAURA down there), and is hard to read, and the !!! at the end looks pretty awkward, typographically. I think it could work if you just wrote it normally and rotated everything 90ยบ.
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