next »

[chairfucker]

The cultivation of modern technology and innovation, ChairFucker is a game about sowing your oats with random chairs and perhaps finding true love. Probably not though.


Starring 'critter'










Right now the chair profiles are generated from a combination of text, toenails, and clown blood.




Ideally you will be able to choose thrusting styles, but currently it's rhythm based. In that each chair has a specific timing they prefer, and you just gotta find that sweet spot bro.

Pictured below: not the sweet spot.



Win the chair over and you'll get their digits, and be able to hook up with them again yo.

Our chair technicians are hard at work when they're not asking what they're doing with their lives.
This curse was eventually committed to Steam, and we still update it from time to time because we must be punished.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1302800/Chair_Fcking_Simulator/

ChairFucker.com
@chairfucker

[Canned Turkey]

This is probably the stupidest indie game I've ever seen.

[alvarop]

youtuber bait 1000%
gg well done

[jon_p]

Fuck her right in the chair!

[Aiursrage2k]

God it will probably be a hit. 

[chairfucker]

Heh, this started as a game jam joke back in March and became a thing of development chicken where we kept waiting to see who would stop working on it first. Annnd well.. here we are.

Mostly just wanted to put this stake in the ground before anyone else got the wise idea to make a chair fucking game. 

[Superb Joe]

unlike these other clowns i operate from a strong basis of truth and love: i trust that you pursue the dream of chairfucker with honest intentions and a love of the art. i believe in you.

[jamesprimate]

definitely the best chairfucking game ive ever seen. follow your dreams!

[verticalvertex]

Dlc name "Asian massage chairs"?

[kleiba]

Why would I want to play this game?

[gimymblert]

rocking chair

[UmutD]

Gameplay seems tight.

[Mr Speaker]

Only one time in your life will it seem like a good idea to make a gratuitously for-shock-value-only novelty game: don't half-ass it. Give it your all!

[erebusman]

Only one time in your life will it seem like a good idea to make a gratuitously for-shock-value-only novelty game: don't half-ass it. Give it your all!

This.

[Helicon]

Will you be able to fuck a chaise longue?

[AndyCee]

After reading this thread I could not stop laughing… Pure genius! I want to see a swivel office chair with wheels and an infinite flat landscape… now that would be hard to fuck

[thefoolishbrave]

i'd play the demo at least

[chairfucker]

definitely the best chairfucking game ive ever seen. follow your dreams!

Can I box quote that?

Only one time in your life will it seem like a good idea to make a gratuitously for-shock-value-only novelty game: don't half-ass it. Give it your all!

Oh man. That's quite super inspiring. Thank you.  

rocking chair

Added to the to-do list

Will you be able to fuck a chaise longue?

Ooh wow, that would definitely have to be like some sort of mini-boss at least. Cause I mean you can't just thrust at the sides right? I'd imagine a chaise longue likes it horizontal. Or maybe it's the chaise doing the fucking. Dang. I have some major life choices to think about.

Dlc name "Asian massage chairs"?

Hmm, I can't seem to find a specific 'Asian' massage chair. Google returns all sorts of different things.

After reading this thread I could not stop laughing… Pure genius! I want to see a swivel office chair with wheels and an infinite flat landscape… now that would be hard to fuck

There's an office there in right now, but it mostly just spins in place. Chasing after it though sounds like a good bonus mini game!

[chairfucker]

unlike these other clowns i operate from a strong basis of truth and love: i trust that you pursue the dream of chairfucker with honest intentions and a love of the art. i believe in you.

Oh dang, I missed this one. I am now filled with DETERMINATION.
That critter is going to fire a laser beam out of his crotch I swear.

[Superb Joe]

unlike these other clowns i operate from a strong basis of truth and love: i trust that you pursue the dream of chairfucker with honest intentions and a love of the art. i believe in you.

Oh dang, I missed this one. I am now filled with DETERMINATION.
That critter is going to fire a laser beam out of his crotch I swear.

please think long and hard (lol) about the mechanics of fucking each chair. you remember when ubisoft spent millions of dollars and several years making a splinter cell game about sam fisher grabbing chairs in different ways and looking at them really studiously, figuring out the best way to grab and hold the chair etc. think like that, but sexually.