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[:^)]

Like I said, tact.
It's not like he could have possibly known what was going on with me. But I would have loved for him to have aired on the side of caution instead of assuming he couldn't possibly be the straw to break the camel's back.
But maybe my post sounded confident enough to give him the impression that I actually was, when obviously I wasn't/am not currently/whatever. So maybe it's my fault for not being honest.

I'm just having a really crappy week. ... And you're not an ass. At least not all the time.

[deathtotheweird]

I don't need tact becuase I really don't care if you get offended by what I say.

If you don't want to be called out on your dumb stupid shit, don't say dumb stupid shit.

if I didn't want to be called out on my apparent rudeness I wouldn't be so rude, but I don't care what you think and I don't care about your feelings.

Also, letting some stranger have such an impact on your feelings is probably a sign you need to step away from the computer. You certainly need a thicker skin, it's a waste of time to get so upset when someone says something that really isn't even that mean.

[ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)]

i generally think tact is a bad thing. i asked what was the advantage, but tact alone isn't a sufficient answer because that rewords it and uses a synonym and still leaves open the question: why be tactful? what's the advantage of never offending anyone? i've never heard any genuinely good reasons to avoid offending people. i don't think people should go out of their way to offend people, but i don't see why they should go out of their way to avoid offending people either

my view on this issue is similar to this article: http://www.esquire.com/features/honesty0707

the whole thing's worth reading, but here's some excerpts:

Here's the truth about why I'm writing this article:

I want to fulfill my contract with my boss. I want to avoid getting fired. I want all the attractive women I knew in high school and college to read it. I want them to be amazed and impressed and feel a vague regret over their decision not to have sex with me, and maybe if I get divorced or become a widower, I can have sex with them someday at a reunion. I want Hollywood to buy my article and turn it into a movie, even though they kind of already made the movie ten years ago with Jim Carrey. I want to get congratulatory e-mails and job offers that I can politely decline. Or accept if they're really good. Then get a generous counteroffer from my boss.

[...]

The movement was founded by a sixty-six-year-old Virginia-based psychotherapist named Brad Blanton. He says everybody would be happier if we just stopped lying. Tell the truth, all the time. This would be radical enough -- a world without fibs -- but Blanton goes further. He says we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths. If you think it, say it. Confess to your boss your secret plans to start your own company. If you're having fantasies about your wife's sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister. It's the only path to authentic relationships. It's the only way to smash through modernity's soul-deadening alienation. Oversharing? No such thing.

[feminazi]

lol what is that a mrm site

[crowe]

I'm just tired of all this passive aggressive sarcasm. Like, if you think it's ok that amazon hired neo-nazis, then explain why. Don't just say WELP BETTER STARVE CAUSE EVERYTHINGS BAD like it's a clever reductio ad absurdum, because it's really just a very silly and even counterproductive thing to say. This is part of coexistence and conversation; you have to be serious if you want to be treated that way. Posting off-topic sarcastic comebacks means you can hardly be offended when people respond in kind; posting "stupid on purpose" (your words, not mine) is not what you should do if you want to have a proper conversation on this topic.

[feminazi]

chill out and paly ur truck simulator

[ClayB]

@Paul Eres: That is a fascinating article. I know much of my social paranoia would be gone if more people said they hated me up front instead of making me speculate it.

And since I'm on an honesty kick, I think arguing about the manner in which arguments are presented, instead of talking about what the hell the disagreement was in the first place, is pointless. Also, all indie games are starting to look the same.

[ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)]

lol what is that a mrm site

esquire is an established magazine that was founded in the 30s, which was before mrm

[feminazi]

anyway radical honesty has its faults. like for exampel everyone being too dum to speak

[crowe]

I don't hate him, though; I don't really hate anyone on this site. It'd be pretty unfair to hate someone just because of interactions on a forum, apart from outright racism or things of that nature. I did not mean to create that impression.

I was perhaps too harsh.

[feminazi]

you werent harsh but u are piling on him after the fact. da dums hav settled. return to ur trucks

[feminazi]

im radically trying to raise my post count... honestly

[zalzane]

im radically trying to raise my post count... honestly

i know how you feel

[s0]

anyway radical honesty has its faults. like for exampel everyone being too dum to speak

the main fault is that it leads to people only talking about themselves and their feelings and not anything else that might be important. this whole clusterfuck just now is the perfect example. notice the ratio of posts about the amazon scandal vs posts about peanutbuttershoes.

i try to stay fairly civil in discussions i care about because im interested in actually talking about the topic at hand rather than telling ppl what i think of them.

[crowe]

That's a fair point, I suppose. It does seem like controversies around here tend to devolve into singular persons (i.e. Phil Fish representing the IGF's foibles).



Also,

im radically trying to raise my post count... honestly

You'll never match my 36 posts a day, madam. Sad, but true.

[:^)]

i wasa dum

[mono]

were all dums.

[unsilentwill]

Destiny. "It's like Journey with guns"

Good. That's... good.  It's no big surprise, it's the artsy retro platformer of AAA. Can't wait for change to come around, and fast.

[Manuel Magalhães]

Doom HD. http://gizmodo.com/5984947/crazy-guy-remasters-320x240-doom-screenshot-into-a-9600x7211+pixel-photoshop-image

[ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)]

anyway radical honesty has its faults. like for exampel everyone being too dum to speak

the main fault is that it leads to people only talking about themselves and their feelings and not anything else that might be important. this whole clusterfuck just now is the perfect example. notice the ratio of posts about the amazon scandal vs posts about peanutbuttershoes.

i try to stay fairly civil in discussions i care about because im interested in actually talking about the topic at hand rather than telling ppl what i think of them.

i don't think that being dishonest is civil; i think it's more polite and kind to a person to tell them what you don't like about them (or their games or posts or ideas or whatever) than to pretend to agree or to hide your criticisms

also, i think radical honesty itself is insurance against everyone talking about themselves, because honest people would also be honest with egoists who talk only about themselves, saying 'stop talking about yourself and keep on the subject', or 'shut up you narcissist' for instance

i'm not sure that talking about people rather than abstract ideas is all that bad, though. it leads to more alienation and less intimacy if all your conversations revolve around disconnected or abstract issues distant from you. personal verbal altercations, though they may be temporarily unpleasant, lead to longer-lasting friendships and greater knowledge of and interconnections between friends. if nobody ever fought there would also be no sense of community (since a community is just a network of people, some of which like each other more than others), or at least only an artificial cult-like sense of community where everyone tries to fit in and is afraid of stating what they think so as to offend each other