GLORIOUS GOOGLE HAS DONE IT AGAIN
http://chrome.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-chromebook-pixel-for-whats-next.htmlAre you looking to blow $1300 on a piece of shit, but already own a macbook pro? Well we at google have the solution for you: the Chomebook Pixel!
The Pixel is running on a blazingly fast Intel Core i5 processor, making your web-browsing experience even faster than ever before!
We packed the Pixel with a screen with TONS of fucking pixels (who knew!). With a screen resolution of 2560x1440 on a 13 inch screen, we even got those sellouts at Apple jerking off over our pixel density!
The Pixel employs the latest in turn key buzzword solutions to solve the problem of storage. In order to compensate for the 32gb solid state drive that ships with the Pixel, you can store your documents and porn in the
Cloud, via Google Drive.(you are assigned 1 TB of free storage for 3 years)
With the power of the
Cloud at your side, now even grandma can struggle to download pictures of her grandchildren from facebook due to database outages!
One of the most attractive features of the Pixel is that it's loaded with Google's latest operating system - ChomeOS. What does ChromeOS do, you ask?
ChomeOS can't:
-Run Windows, OSX, or Linux programs.
-Be used to play any sort of PC games with the exclusion of farmville.
-Be used as a programming environment unless you SSH into a real computer.
-Be used as a design environment because it can't run photoshop or sony vegas.
-Store any kind of data locally, all of your information is in our
Cloud.
-Surf the internet using browser that doesn't track sites you visit in the web.
-Watch movies from a DVD because it doesn't have a disc drive.
-Access the internet without a wifi connection (you can access the internet anywhere if you pay us 30 dollars a month for a 4G line)
There you have it folks. The Google Pixel is truly the latest, greatest, and most advanced in netbook technology. If plan on wasting 1300 dollars on another useless tech toy and contributing to the culture of wasteful consumerism that ruined the country, stop looking at that macbook and buy a Google Pixel today! We hope you'll be part of our advertising network soon.