With the winter cold not playing nice with the hardware in my neck/spine and my muscles having spasms like some kind of agonizing symphony I took some
soma with which I have a love/hate relationship. It makes me so disconnected and hazy but somehow it eliminates the wall between the flow of ideas and the desire to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and I become hyper-creative on it, especially in the presence of music which almost feels as if it becomes a functioning part of my body (for lack of better explanation).
The potential for drug abuse is definitely there, it's a feeling that is definitely thoroughly enjoyed, but common sense (or maybe just stubborn pride) keeps it at bay and I only take any substances as needed (i.e. when there are no other options left). It's amazing how the less you feel externally the more liberated you become internally, learning to suppress or ignore external triggers (and internal signals) without substances has become an area of interest to me as of late.
There are areas and degrees to which I've gained significant control, for example I can take ice cold showers without any adverse reaction at all. I started by teaching myself to resist and then eventually suppress my gasp reaction when the cold water hits me for the first time. The water is cold but I don't feel cold, I fee refreshed and alive, relaxed and energized. Stepping out of the cold shower is like being immediately wrapped in a warm blanket fresh from the dryer, comforting and soothing. It is an amazing experience achieved with a little determination and diligent practice.
It's easy to get wrapped up in the monotony of our day-to-day routine, but there are so many little ways we can push the intensity of our experience, achieve our "little victories". I am mostly rambling here but I guess if there is a point to be made here it is that even within the mundane there are secrets to unlock, little hidden doorways to amazing moments and transcendence. You'd be surprised how much stress you can alleviate simply by exploring the means in which you experience the world around you, the means in which you feel and become aware.
It doesn't take some kind of guru-like knowledge or meditation, it just requires you to become aware of the subtle mysteries that crop up in your day to day happenings and explore them. It takes time away, but it is time well spent.
In any case, that is all. Good luck.
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