Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

 
Advanced search

1401658 Posts in 67936 Topics- by 61480 Members - Latest Member: MushroomTip

July 04, 2022, 08:07:55 PM

Need hosting? Check out Digital Ocean
(more details in this thread)
TIGSource ForumsPlayerGeneralFight Thread Pollution! Post here if it's not worth a new thread!!!
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 1393
Print
Author Topic: Fight Thread Pollution! Post here if it's not worth a new thread!!!  (Read 2114631 times)
Cymon
Level 9
****


Computer Kid


View Profile WWW
« Reply #80 on: April 17, 2009, 01:16:44 PM »

America is comfortably warmer than Canada.
That's because America wears Canada as a hat.
That's funny.

Wait, so does that mean America is wearing a toque?
Logged

Cymon's Games, free source code, tutorials, and a new game every week!
Follow me on twitter
PaleFox
Guest
« Reply #81 on: April 18, 2009, 07:06:34 PM »



Logged
skaldicpoet9
Level 10
*****


"The length of my life was fated long ago "


View Profile
« Reply #82 on: April 18, 2009, 07:24:41 PM »

Immortal Defense rocks my world  Hand Metal Left Wizard Hand Metal Right
Logged

\\\\\\\"Fearlessness is better than a faint heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. The date of my death and length of my life were fated long ago.\\\\\\\"
Cheater‽
Level 10
*****



View Profile
« Reply #83 on: April 18, 2009, 09:04:32 PM »

I HAVE TRIUMPHED

    
Code:
Cheater 95d 16h 9m
Terry 95d 6h 40m
Logged
shinygerbil
Blew Blow (Loved It)
Level 10
*


GET off your horse


View Profile WWW
« Reply #84 on: April 19, 2009, 03:25:51 PM »

I bet you cheated Lips Sealed

no seriously i bet you get that a lot.
Logged

olücæbelel
Smithy
Level 10
*****



View Profile
« Reply #85 on: April 19, 2009, 05:32:01 PM »

First of my factory jobs was at a place called Rose Wreath, making wreathes. I never brought lunches, just brought a book to read during break. One day an old man spotted me during my lunch.

He saw me reading the book and interrupted in his best gruff voice.

"You some kinda college boy?"

I looked up and stared at the man. Little tufts of silver white hair coming out of his shapeless cap he and suspenders, staring at me with a look like a kid who knew something I didn't know.

And I thought to myself, this man, this tottering old man in a state of eternally arrested development, put forth the first question that I do not know how to answer.
There came many more later on in life, but that was the first question I did not know how to answer.

He and the others that had gathered around to disdainfully stare went back to their stations eventually.

And I did too, I suppose, but something changed in me on that day.

...Anywho, I'm faced with another question today. I was looking at the front page of Piala's website when it came to me. There was something off about the text and I asked myself: how can I make this better?

This one I can answer.

You will find my thoughts in blue, accompanying with the original content:

Go Green in 2009!

...... The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago - the second best time is this spring!<--This is good. Website opening statements should be fast. It is clever and there is a good sales pitch to it. This is your hook.

If you're tired of limited selections and a lack of service, consider visiting us. Our family owned and operated nursery is located on 30 acres of southeastern Wisconsin. We carry everything from annuals and perennials to trees and shrubs. Our knowledgeable staff is available to help you from making your selections to loading your vehicle.<---This is not good. I lost 100% interest when it started to sound like every other website ever made. It's filler. The writer stopped putting full heart into it. Your hook is about environmentalist values. Your follow up is about a superior selection and degree of service. Which isn't a bad thing—it's good to show variety of strengths. Problem is, the hook is forgotten instantly and there is no steam in this part itself to carry the reader through your spiel.

In addition to our garden center, we have award-winning landscape services. Experienced and talented landscape architects are available to help envision your perfect yard or garden. Skilled landscape crews are available to perform installations, ranging from planting a tree to renovating your property. If you wish, we are always glad to advise you on how to do it yourself.<--the paragraph before this one was about 50% informative, 50% ineffective sales pitch. This one is simply informative. Which is fine. Shortness is key to a front page.

My conclusion is the front page is operational except the middle paragraph:

If you're tired of....<—Are you familiar with Fred Jung and the oft misunderstood concept of archetypes? Well, this statement puts an archetypal shit-eating used car salesman/carnival barker in everyone's head and leaves a sour taste in our mouths. Sure, it works for Billy Mays infomercials, but Piala's has more class than that. At this point in our society, everyone knows people who say things like “if you're tired of lack of selection and service yadda yadda” are full of shit infomercial/barker types anyway and they end up glazing over the statement entirely. Pardon the language.

Plus, people in infomercials have the added advantage of enthusiastically shouting at people. That's part of why it works at all. Also, the word 'if' is wishy washy and weak, which is why the Billy Mays types would ask a question straight out. So if you absolutely desire to go the infomercial route with your sales pitch, you'd have to type it like this: HEY! THIS IS YOUR FRIENDS AT PIALA'S SPEAKING! ARE YOU TIRED OF LIMITED SELECTIONS AND LACK OF SERVICE!?!?! THEN WE HAVE A DEAL YADDA YADDA!! And that wouldn't fly well with your market.]]]

If... you're tired of limited selections and a lack of service,

[[[Another thing I might add: the idea of limited selections and lack of service would only stick out as important in our context if the reader actually had sour experiences with limited selections and lack of service. The “Tired of limited selection/service” sales pitch was common and might have worked well a few decades ago, in the time of the Mom and Pop store, but it stopped sometime in the 80's/90's with the advent of WalMart and all those giant superstores that ran Mom and Pop (and their damnable lack of selections/services!) out of town.

(I once went into a mom and pop store and all they had on their shelves were ancient grape jellyjam preserves and a few old bamboo fishing rods. Seriously, what the hell is up with that?)

Anyway, consider going a different route here. I'd try to build on the feeling that the opening statement conveys, about planting a tree and helping the earth, and all that hippy hipster earth day/natural garden stuff. That's pretty big these days.

Note: all of this critique was based on the notion that your competition has a decent selection of stock and wouldn't leave their customers with a feeling of lacking selection/service. So to make sure I'm right, a quick google search for nurseries in Waukesha yields three competitors (unless you count christmas tree farms, but I'm sure their selection of christmas trees is, in fact, some variation of pine, so I wouldn't make the leap to say they offer less than you do during christmas.) One of them is a perennial shop, which as far as I can tell only sells perennials, (but nobody would be expecting them to sell anything else considering they have perrenial right in their name and only an idiot would come away from that place feeling a lack of variety because they couldn't find annual plants .) The other is a much bigger greenhouse. The other is called Prospect Hill Garden Center, which is located a distance away from you guys, but looks to be a big enough operation to satisfy customers with variety and service.

You can check their site out here: http://www.prospecthillgardens.com/

Take a look. They use the exact same sales pitch as Piala's nursery. They capitalize on big selection and appealing graphics. But they didn't write it out in the infomercial voice, and it looks like they're doing the same thing I mentioned previously and capitalizing on the hippy, one-with-nature vibe as well. At no point do they use the 'tired of our competition's lack of service/selection?' as a pillar in their pitch, because they know it's structurally unsound and doesn't work. The entire page feels short, blurby, and enthusiastic, (partially thanks to formatting) and they don't use infomercial statements to make people's eyes glaze over, all of which is incredibly important, as far as first pages go. Ours somehow manages to be short yet feel draining and unenthusiastic. In terms of website intrigue, we lose to the big and scary competition.

Moving along. (feel free to take your lunch break now.)]]]]

consider visiting us. Our family owned and operated nursery [[[[This is good. People these days distrust the WalMart/Superstore. Family owned and operated businesses are looking more reputable and important. Things like that stick out.]]]

is located on 30 acres of southeastern Wisconsin. We carry everything from annuals and perennials to trees and shrubs. Our knowledgeable staff is available to help you from making your selections to loading your vehicle.

[[[informative, but by this point, it sounds like enthusiasm has petered out, and that means reader enthusiasm has petered out as well. This exact sentence can remain the same and will sound better with a few minor edits, however.]]]

This is my example to you, it need not be used. Keep in mind I'm tired, and I'm writing this on my time off:

Go Green in 2009!

...... The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago - the second best time is this spring!

You've shed Grandma's hand knit sweaters, the roads on your daily commute are no longer covered with ice, and you're starting to remember what color looks like. There's no doubt about it: the world is fresh again. Plants are growing and all sorts your great projects and ideas are coming out of hibernation, especially regarding what to do with that rich green land of yours.

It's a busy world out there, it's time to get moving, so give yourself thirty seconds, on the honor system, to answer the most important question of the season:

What do you need for your lawn and garden to live up to their potential?

A: A large selection of trees, perennials, annuals and shrubs to choose from, along with knowledgeable staff to help?

B: Experienced and award winning landscape services?

C: Skilled landscape crews to perform installations, ranging from planting a tree to renovating your property?

D: Advice on getting started?

Of course, you already know what you want. And the real answer is obvious. Come in to Piala's, and start your spring right!

Located blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea.

Again, this was just an example, and the end is hokey. It takes thirty more words at about 160, but feels shorter to me and still manages to convey the information in a memorable way. Not the best work I've ever done, but it serves my purposes here well enough.

I want more than to collect a paycheck at Piala's.
I know this front page/website thing might just be a small detail. But I wanted to figure it out anyway, whether or not you decide this was a valuable read.





----

I was interviewed for a landscaping position and hired as a lowly gardenboy intern.
Figured I had nothing to lose.
Logged

Tanner
Level 10
*****


MMPHM *GULP*


View Profile WWW
« Reply #86 on: April 19, 2009, 05:43:07 PM »

^ is worth a thread.
Logged

kyn
Level 10
*****


View Profile
« Reply #87 on: April 20, 2009, 04:55:43 AM »

I'm going to save that post into a txt so I can read it later
Logged
Cheater‽
Level 10
*****



View Profile
« Reply #88 on: April 20, 2009, 12:44:42 PM »



Logged
Glyph
Level 10
*****


Relax! It's all a dream! It HAS to be!


View Profile
« Reply #89 on: April 20, 2009, 01:05:42 PM »




That is the single most insane thing... ever. Whoever did that is, unquestionably, the guy.
Logged


astrospoon
Level 4
****


Andy Hull


View Profile WWW
« Reply #90 on: April 20, 2009, 01:17:31 PM »



Logged

ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)
Level 10
*****


Also known as रिंकू.


View Profile WWW
« Reply #91 on: April 20, 2009, 02:02:19 PM »




That is the single most insane thing... ever. Whoever did that is, unquestionably, the guy.

That game is more masochistic than Mighty Jill Off. It's like the platformer equivalent of bullet hell games.
Logged

GregWS
Level 10
*****


a module, repeatable in any direction and rotation


View Profile
« Reply #92 on: April 20, 2009, 03:04:18 PM »

No Paul, those games are brutally difficult, but this game is just plain unfair, and really fucks with the player for no apparent reason.  It's like the polar opposite of You Have to Burn the Rope, and I think it's just a really stupid game because it seems like the creator is just having fun fucking around with the player.  Hard but fair games are just that, hard but fair.  But shit like this is just cruel.

And I should note that I've never played it, so I'm not saying any of this from frustration, I just think it's one of the stupidest fucking games ever, and I really hope no one sees it as any kind of precedent.
Logged
ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)
Level 10
*****


Also known as रिंकू.


View Profile WWW
« Reply #93 on: April 20, 2009, 03:10:56 PM »

It has precedent though -- there's Messhof's "Punishment" series, which I think is what started the trend. Messhof's games are a little easier though.
Logged

GregWS
Level 10
*****


a module, repeatable in any direction and rotation


View Profile
« Reply #94 on: April 20, 2009, 03:17:26 PM »

It has precedent though -- there's Messhof's "Punishment" series, which I think is what started the trend. Messhof's games are a little easier though.
Were those unfair, or just hard?

Because ultra-difficulty is fine by me (even though I personally have forced myself to stop spending far too much time playing those games), it's just unfair combined with hard that I think is really stupid.

Unfair on it's own could be used quite well, especially in a comic situation.
Logged
ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)
Level 10
*****


Also known as रिंकू.


View Profile WWW
« Reply #95 on: April 20, 2009, 03:19:25 PM »

I'm not sure there's much difference between unfair and hard. In a sense, many NES games were unfair -- you've only to watch the a few episodes of The Angry Videogame Nerd to see how absurd things that used to be acceptable in games really are.
Logged

GregWS
Level 10
*****


a module, repeatable in any direction and rotation


View Profile
« Reply #96 on: April 20, 2009, 03:22:23 PM »

Yeah, there was unfair stuff in NES games, but you can't seriously argue that those two things aren't two different things.

Yes, games can seem unfair because their difficulty has been pumped so high, but at the end of the day they're not actually deceiving the player, and fighting the player on that level.  They're presenting an insanely high wall, and telling the player to jump it.  They're not presenting an insanely high wall, telling the player to jump it, then having it turn into a monster and eat the player when the player gets close to the wall.
Logged
ஒழுக்கின்மை (Paul Eres)
Level 10
*****


Also known as रिंकू.


View Profile WWW
« Reply #97 on: April 20, 2009, 03:25:47 PM »

True, hence my saying it was masochistic. The only people who can really enjoy those games are people who like feeling bad, or those people who are so compulsive about games that they can't help but try to finish it no matter how hard it is or how little fun they're having.
Logged

Glyph
Level 10
*****


Relax! It's all a dream! It HAS to be!


View Profile
« Reply #98 on: April 20, 2009, 03:36:52 PM »

You just have to laugh at some moments in the game. Yeah, someone could get pissed when it kills you, but If they really get angry, perhaps the game wouldn't be for that person. You have to see some humor in it.
Logged


Jad
Level 8
***


Bomb Boy


View Profile WWW
« Reply #99 on: April 20, 2009, 04:11:20 PM »

I'm with glyphmasta. To get the maximum enjoyment out of it, take turns playing it with a friend. Will work wonders.

This game is really fun in a very slapstick way, you just gotta swallow your pride. Also it's not all that impossible anyways, you just play until it doesn't appeal to you anymore, then you turn it off. Greg, srsly, there's no point in arguing that it's a worthless game if you haven't played it, just because you know about the premise. It's not a complete shit game without merits, it's a kinda fun game that fucks with you in a way that's fun for some! Me included. I'd never try BEATING it though!
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 1393
Print
Jump to:  

Theme orange-lt created by panic