We are never free in this spherical prison.
This is so true!
It reminds me of this song (in which the bold lyrics are my favorite verses of any song, I really like the way it is worded):
The shadow of the Earth
Abyssing your lonely water-visage
Giving us a breather from the yoke of the Star
Before utter oppression restarts
In a schism of major zones of remote dreams
Where I own the empire
You hand me the keys
And the scepter of your playground
A parade of fast satellites across a slow night-sky
And once again it's dawn
They're made of steel and chrome
The screams propagating through
The coldness of the outer space
It's a message no-one is gonna get
There in the infinite abyss of the night
And not making a noise we quietly deorbit
And the night that I gave up the way
All the songs have returned to silence
And my friend of the other side
Was the witness to that miscarriage
But the truth was not by my side
I was blinded from all those dark things
So the night (that) I let you go astray
Couldn't see the full extent
Of all the hate that followed
On that note, I'd spend my last night of freedom trying to let go. Any forward momentum I've gained in my life only ever happened after I battled my own stubborn belligerence to the ground and pried my fingers off of whatever ignorant beliefs I held on to so defensively. It's a shitty continuous wave of moments full of shame, confusion, denial, and otherwise infantile tantrum throwing that eventually gives way to some sort of better world view.
The only real freedom you ever get in life comes from accepting the way shit is and letting go of the idea that you are in control (of anything). Then you're not weighed down by bullshit and you can roll with the punches of bitter moments and can embrace the good moments with open, empty arms. Nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I'll keep working for that night of freedom, someday I will get there I think.
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